BREAKING POINT

I broke a plate in the middle of November.

I don't remember the details of what triggered my actions that day, but I remember exactly where I was standing when that plate hit the table. I remember being surprised that I'd slammed it with enough force to split the plate in two. I remember the look on the faces of the other Ws who were in the room. I remember thinking that I felt like that plate - falling apart under the strain of things outside of my control.

I remember someone quietly picking up the two pieces of the plate and walking to the garage. I remember everyone else dispersing to various rooms in the house. I remember the plate coming back in the house, put back together with gorilla glue. I remember thinking it was ridiculous to try and save the plate.

I remember the realization that three huge areas of stress in my life were impacting me even more than I realized. I remember knowing that something had to change soon. I remember the clarity that I had about what the next step forward was going to be.

I hit a breaking point that day, both literally and figuratively.

I'm thankful for the people who let me bawl my eyes out and share really hard stuff during that season of life. I'm thankful for the way they continue to check in on things from time to time. I'm thankful for this line from Hungry, by Kutless - Broken I run to you, for your arms are open wide, I am weary, but I know your touch restores my life - that encouraged me spiritually when things were so hard, even if it did make me cry every. single. time. I heard or sang it.

I'm thankful that things are so much better now.

I'm thankful the plate was glued back together. I'm thankful we reach the bottom of our plate stash sometimes and get to use it. I'm thankful for the tangible reminder that that being broken doesn't mean being useless.