Tuesday, April 30, 2024

BOOKS I FINISHED - APRIL 2024


The 5 Apology Languages: The Secret to Healthy Relationships, written by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

This book does an excellent job of describing different ways of apologizing, explaining why they matter to different people, and giving lots of real life examples of both successful and failed apologies. It also spends time on the topic of forgiveness, as the two things are closely related. The book is faith-based and includes lots of Bible references for those with the same belief system, specifically in the area of forgiveness, but those who don't share the beliefs would find the chapters on apology styles to be very practical and non-preachy.

p. 21, Apology is birthed in the womb of regret.

p. 34, Mature adults learn how to break the harmful patterns of childhood and accept responsibility for their own failures, but immature adults are forever rationalizing their own bad behavior. 

p. 37, And I tried to help him see the difference between understanding why we do what we do and accepting what we do.

p. 38, I agree that I have a right to feel hurt, angry, disappointed, and frustrated or whatever else I may be feeling. I don't choose my feelings; I simply experience them. On the other hand, I disagree with the idea that because of my feelings, I have the right to hurt someone else with my words or behavior. 

p. 83, When an offense occurs, immediately it creates an emotional barrier between two people. Until that barrier is removed, the relationship cannot go forward. An apology is an attempt to remove the barrier. 

p. 84, Eventually Martin realized that the healthy individual is the one who recognizes his/her personality traits, accepts them as being the normal pattern of operation, but refuses to be controlled by these personality traits when they are obviously dysfunctional to a relationship.

p. 85, Mature people recognize their fears but refuse to be held captive by their fears. When they value a relationship, they are willing to go against their fears and take the steps necessary to bring healing to the relationship.

p. 88, Forgiveness is essentially a choice to life the penalty and to let the person back into our lives. It is to pardon the offense so that we might redevelop trust.

p. 88, Please understand that when you request to be forgiven, you are making a huge request. It will be costly to the person you have offended. When they forgive you, they must give up their desire for justice. They must relinquish their hurt and anger, their feeling of embarrassment or humiliation. They must give up their feelings of rejection and betrayal. Sometimes, they must live with the consequences of your wrong behavior.

p. 130, Holding someone accountable for negative behavior is an act of love.

p. 131, Forgiveness and trust are not to be equated. Because forgiveness is a decision, it can be extended immediately when one perceives he has heard a sincere apology. However, trust is not a decision - it is rather an emotion. Trust is that gut-level confidence that you will do what you say you will do.

p. 132, So how do we rebuild trust in a relationship when it has been violated? The answer is by being trustworthy one day at a time.

p. 133, If you continue to be untrustworthy by lying, cheating, hiding, and making excuses, trust will never be reborn. Trust's only hope of survival is in the rain and sunshine of integrity.

p. 133, In summary, forgiveness is a choice to lift the penalty and allow the person back into your life so that the relationship can continue to grow. Trust, on the other hand, returns in stages.

p. 134, It is one of the fundamental realities in life: When we commit actions or speak words that are detrimental to another, the consequences of those actions and words are never fully removed, even with genuine forgiveness.

p. 134, Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment to accept the person in spite of what he or she has done. It is a decision not to demand justice but to show mercy.



Dear God: Honest Prayers to a God Who Listens, written by Bunmi Laditan

My first exposure to Laditan many years ago had nothing at all to do with faith. In fact, her religious beliefs were different at the time. I've followed her ever since because she's funny, transparent, and relatable. This book made me chuckle several times, made me teary twice, and puts into beautiful words the hard things we've all felt at one point or another in both life and faith. I read it in one sitting, but am going to read it more slowly a second time before returning it to the library.


The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip, written by Sara Brunsvold

A younger woman who's focused on her career, an older woman who's dying, and the friendship that develops when the former is tasked with writing the latter's obituary. A story of love that's rooted in faith, with an unexpected plot line about refugees, which is meaningful to me.

p. 46, A pained body with a broken spirit tends to recoil when the hand of grace first finds its wounds.

p. 61, "Ambition is a two-edged sword. Use it wisely, you become a trailblazer. Use it foolishly, you become a chump."

p. 180, "I have never seen the vast smallness of American minds until I've attempted to get the to wrap around the concept of hospitality to outsiders."

p. 193, "You need the Lord more than anything, but in his benevolence he often shows up in the form of friends."

p. 198, "I simply tried to love people as best I could for as long as I was privileged to be with them. We don't stay long in each other's lives - that's the crux of our humanness. You have to be the friend people need while they are there with you, because it's the only chance you'll get."

p. 206, "You were saying people sometimes need a little coaxing toward compassion," she said. "What did you mean by that?

"I mean that sometimes you have to find the tender spot in someone's heart. What would motivate them into action? What commonality do they have with the person in need of help. I searched for those tender spots, then used them to coax the people to compassion."

p. 212, "Authentic love is the greatest joy there is, Miss Kelley, but it requires a thousand little deaths to self."

p. 217, For the rest of the morning, the dual-culture crew worked to set up the little white house in the middle of the block in the middle of the city in the middle of the country. Safe for that one goal and their shared humanness, they had virtually nothing in common. 

Somehow it didn't matter.

It never did.

p. 227, The sower's job was to sow, trusting her success would be measured by how few seeds remained in her hand.


Invisible Wonders: Photographs of the Hidden World, written and compiled by Anand Varma

I don't remember where I heard about this book, but I put it on hold at the library before its publication date because I knew I'd like it. Whether you're interested in photography, nature, or science, or, like me, simply love looking at fascinating pictures, you'll enjoy over 350 pages of incredible sights. Mostly captioned photos, the book also has some text and interviews with a few photographers. 


The Last Devil to Die, written by Richard Osman 

The fourth book in the Thursday Murder Club series, this story had all the criminal activity that's to be expected, but it also dealt a lot with an important secondary character with dementia. As always, I appreciate the friendship of the four main characters in these books.

p. 134, "I need you to talk less. I have a low boredom threshold. I was born with it, the doctors can't do nothing."

p. 248, Love can mean so many different things, can't it? And just because it's precious doesn't mean it can't be tough.


On the Horizon: World War II Reflections, written by Lois Lowry and illustrated by Kenard Pak

Written in verse, Lowry invites the reader to meet real people who were at Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima when each were attacked. It's a middle grade book that deals with the horror of war, the experience of grief, and the resilience of people who have been traumatized. She also draws heavily from her own connections to both places, at one point revealing a personal tie to an author whose picture books I enjoy.


Remarkably Bright Creatures, written by Shelby Van Pelt and narrated by Marin Ireland and Michael Urie

I tend to avoid books with a lot of hype because then my expectations are too high, which is why I ignored this one for a long time. Plus is has an octopus as a main character, which doesn't appeal to me at all. Finally, after realizing I'd never heard anyone say they didn't like it, I decided to listen to it. People in different age brackets, individual stories that begin to overlap as the book progresses, messy lives, and personal growth. And an octopus. I loved it. I'm not sure if I'd have enjoyed it as much in print, so I'm glad I opted for the audio version.

9:47:20, "You can't fix someone who's determined to stay broken."


The Unsung Hero of Birdsong, USA, written by Brenda Woods

This middle grade novel is about a black American soldier who's recently returned from war, a twelve year old white boy whose life is saved by the soldier, and how the friendship they developed in 1946 impacted both of their lives. 

p. 95, "Whenever possible, you gotta try to see the goings-on of life through more eyes than just your own, because that can help you see things more clearly. Sometimes it'll even let you see things the way they really are and give you peace of mind."

p. 100, "Resistin' temptation builds strength. We fail when we give in to it."

p. 149, "Recipe for friendship is liking and trust. Respect gets mixed up in there too."


What You Are Looking For Is In The Library, written by Michiko Aoyama and translated from Japanese by Alison Watts

A friend recently mentioned this book to me, even though she hadn't read it yet. I immediately put it on hold at the library and loved every page. Each chapter focuses on one person and how the local librarian always recommends exactly what they're looking for, as well as what they don't yet realize they need. Simultaneously light and wise, this novel's filled with evidence of how significant life transitions, personal growth, community connections, libraries, and books are. Bonus points for all the meaningful books recommended in the story being listed at the end for easy reference.

p. 23, Library. What a nice-sounding word. So comforting.

p. 42, "In a world where you don't know what will happen next, I just do what I can right now."

p. 161, "The merry-go-round?"

With a chuckle she smiled at me. "It's a very common condition," she said with apparent relish. "Singles are envious of those who are married, and married couples envy those with children, but people with children are envious of singles. It's an endless merry-go-round. But isn't that funny? That each person should be chasing the tail of the person in front of them, when no one is coming first or last. In other words, when it comes to happiness nothing is better or worse - there is no definitive state."

p. 165, If I put myself at the center of everything, does that mean I always see myself as a victim? And why I always end up wondering why can't people do things that work for me?

p. 249, "What you have to understand about women is that they can reach a certain point when all of a sudden every little thing that's ever irritated them becomes too much to bear anymore, just like that."

p. 299, Until now I have always thought of things in terms of whether or not they could be useful to me in some way. But that may have become my stumbling block. Now I know the importance of the heart being moved, I have a list of things I want to try.


Words in the Dust, written by Trent Reedy and narrated by Ariana Delawari

An Afghan girl with a cleft palate, harsh stepmom, and strong desire to be educated. Afghan culture, American military, family dynamics, and dreams of the future. This middle grade novel is filled with hard topics and different perspectives, but is handled with tact and respect. Don't skip the interviews at the end of the audio version. 

Monday, April 29, 2024

PUZZLES I FINISHED - APRIL 2024

 


Beauty and the Beast Falling in Love - Artist: Thomas Kinkade - Disney The Dreams Collection - 750 pieces

We were well into this puzzle before Tyler realized there are some unrelated Disney characters hidden in it. 

A Dog's Life: Poker Pups - Artist: Eduard S - Buffalo - 750 pieces

I think Tyler may have done more of this one than I did, but we both had fun with it.


Maggie the Messmaker - Artist: Charles Wysocki - Buffalo - 750 pieces

This was a fun puzzle to work on while listening to an audiobook, although I want to tidy the whole scene up. 



Upstairs, Downstairs - Artist: Art Poulin / Lazygoose - MasterPieces - 1,000 pieces

Too big for our puzzle table, we put this fancy home together at our dining table. 


Variety of Colorful Ice Cream  - Kodak Premium Puzzles - 1,000 pieces

You can't go wrong with ice cream!

Sunday, April 28, 2024

4/28/24 - WORTH REPEATING

*****

The wiser you get, the more experience you have, and the more you see people for who they are as human beings, as opposed to figures you have to fight against.

~ Vanessa Williams // 1440 Daily Digest, 3/18/23 edition

*****

Privacy is withholding information for the sake of healing. Secrecy is withholding information for the sake of hiding so that bad behavior can continue.

~ Lysa Terkeurst // How Do I Talk Divorce With My Kids? // Therapy and Theology

*****

I think stories are empathy engines. They create these bridges between us.

~ R. Eric Thomas // Insightful and Entertaining Memoirs // What Should I Read Next?

*****

We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different hopes, different dreams.

~ Jimmy Carter // America the Beautiful: Together We Stand, written by Katharine Lee Bates, illustrated by Bryan Collier, Raul Colon, Diane Goode, Mary Grandpre, John Hendrix, Yuyi Morales, Jon J. Muth, LeUyen Pham, Sonia Lynn Sadler, and Christ Soentpiet, and compiled by Orchard Books

*****

A fact is information minus emotion. An opinion is information plus experience. Ignorance is an opinion lacking information. Stupidity is an opinion that ignores a fact. 

~ unknown

*****


Thursday, April 25, 2024

THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful that we have both electric and wood heat. What's one thing that you're thankful for?

Thursday, April 18, 2024

THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for teamwork in various parts of my life. What's one thing that you're thankful for?

Thursday, April 11, 2024

THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful that the two people I've been friends with the longest both called me on the same day. What's something you're thankful for?

Thursday, April 4, 2024

THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for rice cooker mac & cheese. What's one thing that you're thankful for?