BOOKS I FINISHED - JANUARY 2020

*****

Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace & Purpose in a World of Crazy, written by Alli Worthington

I need regular reminders to say no to good things, prioritize what matters most, and look to Jesus for my worth and rest. This book does those things in a down-to-earth way that's encouraging, not overwhelming.

p. 31, Sometimes we can fool ourselves into thinking self-medicating is actually self-care --- "I deserve that chocolate bar!" But if we find that our habits are directly related to stressful situations in our lives, and that they are not renewing or restoring us, then we need to recognize those choices as a warning sign of busyness.

p. 89, And though I was spoon-fed sayings like, "The world is your oyster" and "You can do anything you set your mind to," this is simply not the truth. We want to believe that we have all the options of the world available to us and that we can overcome limitations if we just try hard enough.

The reality is, we didn't choose where or two whom we were born. We didn't choose what we would look like or what our talents or passions would be. It can be frustrating to realize that we don't have as much control over our lives as we once thought.

p. 106, As soon as I catch myself thinking something that is negative or destructive, I stop myself by saying, "No. That isn't truth. But I know this to be true ..." And then I follow that up with truth that I know from Scripture. < snip >

I keep going, focusing on "whatever is true" until truth replaces my negative thoughts and that truth takes me to a place of gratitude.

p. 160, I realized I made my decisions based on the most important things in my life: faith, family, future, fulfillment, and friends.


*****

The Contender, written by Robert Lipsyte

Racial divides, crime, and drug addiction are impacting the life of a teenage boy in Harlem, so he decides to pursue boxing as a way to break free and move forward in life. That choice teaches him a lot about hard work and perseverance, character traits that serve everyone well. This is a school book for the kids that I read on my own.

p. 35, "Everybody wants to be a champion. That's not enough. You have to start by wanting to be a contender, the man coming up, the man who knows there's a good chance he'll never get to the top, the man who's willing to sweat and bleed to get up as high as his legs and his brains and his heart will take him. That must sound corny to you."

"No."

"It's the climbing that makes the man. Getting to the top is an extra reward."


*****

Grace, Not Perfection: Embracing Simplicity, Celebrating Joy, written by Emily Ley

Addressing three areas of life - ourselves, the people in our lives, and the things we're called to do - Ley talks about our thought processes and shares practical ways to put healthy ways of thinking into practice. She also gives several writing prompts for those who want help processing the concepts she talks about.

p. 2, True joy isn't found in having it all together. The good life is rich, slow, real, and flawed.

p. 9, But here's the thing about doing it all: even if you can do it all, no one can do it all well.

p. 61, Make margin for what matters. This is your one precious, crazy life. White space in your calendar is priceless. Why work so hard to fill it up? Aren't the in-between moments where we find the most joy?

p. 67, Life may be messy, but the mess is worth it.

p. 71, Just because you're good at something or just because something is a noble cause doesn't mean it needs your attention right now. Take ten minutes, and make a few phone calls or send a few e-mails. Quit. It's okay to be a quitter when you're choosing what matters.

p. 86, What if we unabashedly poured love on our loved ones and our communities, even when we don't feel like it? I don't know about you, but when I extend sincere courtesy and perform random acts of kindness, my heart suddenly feels fuller.

p. 127, You don't have to be the best at everything. Allow your weaknesses to be someone else's strengths. That's what community is for.

p. 131, Guard your heart, because what you put in it is what you'll hand out to the ones you love.

p. 139, You've heard the term balancing act, right? As I said earlier, I'm convinced that the idea of balance in life isn't a real thing. It's basically a balancing act. No one actually achieves it.

p. 180, The difference between people who achieve their goals and people don't is their ability to dust themselves off and wear their dirty outfit proudly.

p. 181, I've always believed that customer service is a ministry. It's a chance to love on people, to over-deliver, and to just do the right thing. And from time to tome, it's a chance to restore faith in humanity.

p. 188, Quit worrying about whether you're a good mother or not. In fact, here's a handy quiz to tell you definitely if you're doing a good job.

1. Do you love your children?
2. Do you make loving and caring for your people a priority?
3. Are you making the best decisions you can for your family?

If you answered yes to those questions, congratulations! You are a good mom!

p. 201, Imagine what life would look like if we were truly content with just the objects we own. Sit on that for a minute. All you have now is all you'll have.

p. 209, The peace of contentment is just as valuable as the confetti that comes with achievement.


*****

Hope Heals: A True Story of Overwhelming Loss and an Overcoming Love, written by Katherine and Jay Wolf

I loved this story of a couple whose early years of marriage and parenting were completely rocked when she had a stroke that nearly killed her. She survived, but had part of her brain removed and lost the ability to walk, talk, swallow, and hear through one ear. After two years of non-stop medical care and the return of some bodily functions, she moved home and they started life all over again. Taking turns sharing parts of the story, readers get a full view of the struggles they went through, their commitment to each other, and the hope that keeps them moving forward.

p. 19, Perhaps some detours aren't detours at all. Perhaps they are actually the path. The picture. The plan. And, perhaps most unexpectedly, they can be perfect.

p. 57, I suppose in that moment, I realized that when we most need our intangible God to be made tangible, we need look no further than His people to make Him manifest.

p. 62, I suppose to love someone well is to assure them you will never leave them and then to let them go.

p. 70, Rather, as our hearts were filled to overflowing with the comfort we so desperately needed, our burgeoning hope could spill out onto those in need. We who were the receivers became the givers, and in so giving, we were continually refilled and encouraged by the realization that none of our suffering would be wasted.

p. 195, That experience reminded me that vulnerability is contagious.

p. 197, We became increasingly aware that when it seems you've gotten everything you hoped for and yet are left longing, perhaps those hoped-for things weren't the truest hope. If hope is only rooted in an outcome, then your expectations will crush you.

p. 202, I found that acting in love inevitably provoked feelings of love, and the reverse was no less true.

p. 241, Maybe it takes life being undeniably terrible before we can truly recognize its undeniable splendor.


*****

Man-Made Wonders of the World, written by DK

I didn't take the time to read many pages of this book, but I enjoyed looking through all the pictures. One doesn't have to be interested in architecture to appreciate seeing so many incredible things all over the world.


*****

Number the Stars, written by Lois Lowry

A ten year old Danish girl has to say goodbye to her friend, a Jewish girl escaping the Nazis. It's a time of sadness and fear, but also of bravery and maturity as she plays a part in the process.  A work of historical fiction, this story highlights how the Danish Resistance was able to get nearly all of the Jews in Denmark, which was several thousand people, smuggled to safety in Sweden. This is a school book for the kids that I read on my own.


*****

Rules of the Road, written by Joan Bauer

An awkward teenage girl has the chance to spend the summer on a road trip with the elderly owner of the shoe store chain she works for. The woman isn't very personable, but the two soon discover they can learn from each other and team up to make sure the shoe empire remains a company with quality products and excellent customer service. This is a school book for the kids that I read on my own.

p. 49, My grandma always said that people who snored were sleeping with enthusiasm. I tried to remember this, but there's just so much enthusiasm a person can handle in close quarters.

p. 150, I'd just come off the sales floor with Harry Bender, who'd shared with me his two golden sales rules that lifted him from the sewer of despair to the top of his profession.

Rule Number One: Care about people more than what you're selling.

Rule Number Two: Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.

p. 165, You never know where the road's going to take you. I think sometimes it's less important that you get to your destination than the sidetrips you take along the way.


*****

Secret Daughter, written by Shilpi Somaya Gowda

A woman who saves her daughter's life by giving her away. A woman whose son begins a new life in a different country. A woman who's unable to carry the babies she conceives. I really enjoyed this novel about families in India and America whose lives become intertwined through love and loss.

p. 83, Sometimes, as she has well learned in life, one's actions must precede the emotions one hopes to feel.

p. 220, It was as if they stood on opposite sides of a lake,  neither of them having the ability to cross the distance between. The angry words they hurled fell like stones to the bottom of the water, leaving ripples of sadness on the surface.

p. 270, But her mother always said the key to a successful marriage was for each spouse to give as much as they thought they possibly could. And then, to give a little more. Somewhere in that extra giving, in the space created by generosity without score keeping, was the difference between marriages that thrived and those that didn't.


*****

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THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for the slew of phenomenal sunrise pictures from local friends when I logged into Facebook this morning. What's one thing that you're thankful for?

A COUPLE DAYS WITH MY SISTER

I sent Beep a message after my family had visited OMSI's Exquisite Creatures exhibit saying I'd take her if she came up. She walked in my door about a week later.  She, all the Ws, and Natie spent Monday evening together. 

Tuesday morning she and I headed to the city some art with a scientific twist. Blustery day for our sister date!

She enjoyed Exquisite Creatures, as I knew she would, and I was thankful to see it a second time. We spent a little while working on puzzles after we'd finished the art exhibit and took pictures to prove how smart we are as we solved them.

 We had someone snap our picture before we left.

Then had someone different take our picture under the OMSI sign (which evidently had a light burn out).

We were getting hungry by this point and Beep invited me to Spaghetti Factory, so off we went. We lucked out with a window seat by the river and all sorts of blue decor around us. Perfect.

We headed home after lunch for a while, then went back out in the evening to have dinner with Dani, a friend of 27 years. It was great to spend a few hours chatting about life and laughing about all sorts of things.

Beep left this morning, but not before making a nephew and niece happy. With the exception of the two who left early for work, she and Tyler were the first ones up. He asked if she'd play games with him, so I walked out of my bedroom to find Exploding Kittens and Phase 10 happening at the table.

Later in the morning she gave Naomi a make-up tutorial, per Naomi's earlier request that they get to share in that girly activity.

I'm glad she lives close enough for a somewhat spontaneous visit to happen!

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A MYSTERY & SOME MONGOLIAN

For the second week in a row, we ditched our normal habit of resting on Sunday afternoons to do something fun. Tim and I were given a gift certificate to Pentacle Theatre in Salem at Christmas, so we went to watch a play.

I absolutely love Pentacle's setting! It's tucked away in a little wooded area, looking more like a lodge to spend the weekend in than somewhere to enjoy performing arts. I'm sure it's gorgeous in both the summer and autumn.

We chose to get tickets for Murder on the Orient Express. It's a well-known mystery that people are familiar with because of the original book by Agatha Christie and subsequent movies, plays, and video game, but neither of us had ever read or watched it.

We stepped out on the deck during intermission to stretch our legs and soak up some January sunshine. Isn't that a pretty view?

Tim didn't look the right direction and I squinted into the sun, but here's picture proof we were there.

We came back in, chatted with the couple sitting next to us (they've been coming for 50 years) until the second act started, and tried solving the mystery before the final scene. Watching a play was a great way to spend an afternoon! We headed off to Chang's Mongolian Grill for a bunch of protein and produce (and perhaps some noodles) to wrap things up, then went back to real life.

Maybe we'll have to head back to Pentacle for Shrek at the end of the year!

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THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for Eddie Bauer's basic tanks, tees, and long-sleeves, as well as their great deals with sales and coupons. What's something that you're thankful for?

ONE TRIP THROUGH THE BIBLE

We attend a church that teaches through the Bible verse by verse, chapter by chapter, book by book. Wednesday nights are when we study each verse, while weekend services highlight a particular verse or passage from the upcoming Wednesday for a more topical study.

The teaching on the first Sunday we attended was from Ecclesiastes 10. Fourteen years, three months, three weeks, and four days later, which was this last Sunday, the teaching was from Ecclesiastes 10 again. That means our family has just completed our first trip through the Bible with our church, which I think is a neat milestone.

Several years ago I wrote about how people will often describe how long they've been at our church by which book of the Bible the congregation was in at the time and showed a picture of how long we'd been attending by how many pages of my Bible we'd gone through. Now we've joined the ranks of people who have to add "the first time through ..." to whatever book of the Bible the church was in when they started attending. Time flies!

A FUN SUNDAY

We haven't had an OMSI membership in a few years, but I've been wanting to see the Exquisite Creatures exhibit, featuring the work of Christopher Marley, for quite a while. A membership quickly pays for itself, so we recently decided to get one again. Visiting as a family isn't very realistic in this season of life, but I wanted all of us to see Exquisite Creatures. The one and only day that would work with everyone's schedules was yesterday. We're intentional about keeping Sundays low-key and restful, but sometimes we choose to ditch that routine for something more important. Yesterday was one of those days. 

We all, including Gabi, went to church in the morning, but Silas and Natie, who was also joining us, had to stick around for the next service. That meant the rest of us had time to kill. Devon and Naomi chose to stay and help out, so Tim and I took the little boys to Costco for some browsing and sampling. They even sampled some recliners. Silly guys!

We browsed, chatted with friends we ran into, enjoyed a bunch of samples, bought a couple things, then headed out. We got back to church about twenty minutes before the current service was done, but I'd come prepared with a bag of library books for the boys to read.

Finally, off we went to OMSI. The Exquisite Creatures exhibit was awesome! My pictures aren't very good at all, but I did take some that I'll put at the end of this post so you can get an idea of what it was like. Tyler and Gabi struck poses at the photo area at the end of the exhibit.

I took a couple extra  pictures of Gabi for him to show his family.

We explored the rest of the museum once we finished Exquisite Creatures and snapped a group shot of all the Ws and bonus Ws before we wrapped up our afternoon.

Natie went back to her home and we took Gabi to his. It had been a super fun day, but now things were set up for a miserable evening. We'd left home 12-14 hours earlier and hadn't stopped to rest the whole time. The Ws were various combinations of tired, sore, hungry, and dehydrated. I'd only had four hours of interrupted sleep the night before, so I was particularly done with the day. Like, really done. I wasn't in a bad mood, since it had been such a great day, but was definitely on the brink of losing my ability to handle anything but silence.

Tim suggested our dinner come from a restaurant, which sounded even better than our normal habit of leftovers on Sunday. We tossed around some options for where to go, whether to get takeout, and if dropping me off at home first was the best option for all of us. Final decision? Swing by the house to pick up Silas and Naomi (they'd driven separately after we dropped Silas off at his car, which had been left at the church earlier in the day), then head to Nancy Jo's for burgers and fries. We spent an hour chatting, laughing, and eating before heading home.

We got home, I took a scalding hot shower, and was in bed by 8:30 for twelve hours of sleep. It was a perfect ending to a long, fun-filled day!

And now, here are some pictures of the Exquisite Creatures exhibit. They aren't very good because the place was hopping and I just snuck quick shots in whenever I could. But something's better than nothing, right?

Marley's work is really impressive, so I encourage you to check out the OMSI exhibit by February 17th. If that's not possible, you can find his art in books, puzzles, calendars, and games on Amazon.

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A DAY WITH THE BONUS Ws

We got to spend time with both of the bonus Ws yesterday, which was awesome. Natie and Silas went to breakfast, then she spent the rest of the morning with us. We ditched school shortly after they got back from eating and started playing games. First up was Throw Throw Burrito and I won the second of the two games we played. It's a rare day when I win, so that was momentous, but it was a fun game even when I lost. Next up was a giant indoor snowball fight with some fake snowballs we were given a few years back and have had multiple battles with.

Natie went home after lunch, then a few hours later I got to pick Gabi up from school. He, Naomi, and Tyler had a blast and got soaking wet jumping on the trampoline for an hour. They finally came in, changed into dry clothes, and we all spent the rest of the evening playing games, eating dinner, reading books, and wrestling. I'm so thankful for time with him now that he doesn't live next door!

What a treat to have both of those kids come over on the same day!

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THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for teachers who care about their students. What's something that you're thankful for?

1/15/20 - WORTH REPEATING

*****

To be without friends is a serious form of poverty.

~ It Happened on 5th Avenue


*****

If you want to learn how to enjoy life and craft something you do not need to escape from, you can do so. It may require you to change your mindset, your pursuits, or where you focus your energy, but it is always worth it.

~ Joshua Becker in How to Craft A Life You Don’t Need to Escape From on Becoming Minimalist

*****

We don’t have to monetize or optimize or organize our joy. Hobbies don’t have to be imbued with a purpose beyond our own enjoyment of them. They, alone, can be enough.

~ Molly Conway in The Modern Trap of Turning Hobbies Into Hustles on Man Repeller

*****

We are loved when we are carried, and loved when we are the carriers.


~ Emilie Kleiner in this Facebook photo


*****

I want a life I cannot pay for
I want a life I can't afford to live without
I want a life I cannot pay for
I want a life I can't afford to be missing out

I don't wanna be 85, singing
"Oh, no, I think I missed it, I was chasing money"
I don't wanna be 85, singing
"Oh, no, I got a big house, but my heart is ugly"

~ Andy Grammer in 85 on The Good Parts

*****

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BRANCHES

This week hasn't been my favorite. The biggest thing was the 28th anniversary of my mom's death, which, for a variety of reasons, was the hardest year of that milestone I've ever had and included buckets and buckets and buckets of tears shed behind closed doors.

Of course, there have been all the other ordinary struggles of life. Parenting exhaustion. Homemaking failures. Communication breakdowns. Insomnia. Physical discomfort. Inefficient time management. Humanity. Sometimes, like this week, those ordinary things pile on and feed off each other, then become even harder to rationally deal with when placed on a mountain of grief. I've become increasingly annoyed by petty complaints and general irresponsibility when I face bigger issues and responsibilities of my own, yet I've quite hypocritically dished out all sorts of petty complaints and demonstrated less than stellar responsibility myself this week.

Humans are flawed. Life is messy.

My response has been to withdraw for several days. With the exception of taking care of my online responsibilities and responding to direct communication, I've avoided Facebook. I haven't blogged. I haven't sent chatty texts, e-mails, Facebook messages, or happy mail. I haven't talked to anyone about how I'm feeling. If you know my extroverted, people-loving, overly wordy self at all, you know that multiple days of intentionally avoiding interaction with others is a big deal. I just needed a break, some time to pull myself together without a bunch of distractions.

I've read my Bible, listened to my "When Life Stinks" playlist, gone on brisk walks, read library books, prayed, eaten lots of healthy meals, and taken long showers. I've also cried, spoken in anger and frustration, had snarky conversations in my head, and eaten far more cookies and candy than any person should.

Again, humans are flawed and life is messy.

I feel ready to dip my toe back in the online waters today and am doing so with a poem I've shared before. It's blustery here today and the last two lines of the poem, which are my favorite, came to mind as I was picking up branches that had blown all over our yard this afternoon.


VIEW I

A storm came through our garden once;
It shred and broke and tore,
Til all that lay within its path
Was shaken o'er and o'er

Then firmly called the sun for quiet;
It shushed the wind and held the rain;
Then gently wrapped the fraught creation
With warm and healing arms again

After days of loving comfort,
Timid shoots of green peeked through,
And gentle colors shyly opened,
Promise of a deeper hue

When seasons changed, a passerby
Beheld a two-faced view ---
Of rain-thrashed trees and battered shrubs,
Yet also growth, alive and new


VIEW II

The Husbandman has placed His servants
Within a garden, precious, rare
To labor, pray, rejoice, and weep
O'er every branch he's planted there.

Our Father also knew before
That violent, unrelenting rains,
Sweeping o'er his precious vineyard
Would bring wreckage, sorrow, pain

But far beyond, the Keeper knew
The storm would more than havoc sow;
For rains that plunder stiffened branches
Cause the yielding ones to grow.

~ Barbara Perkins


If you're having a rough week, month, or season of your own, I pray that you'll see hope in the grief, feel joy in the stress, and experience growth that can only come from struggle. Be a yielding branch.

BOOKS I FINISHED - DECEMBER 2019

*****

The Boy on the Wooden Box: How the Impossible Became Possible ... on Schindler's List, written by Leon Leyson 

Leyson was a young Jewish boy living in Poland when the Nazis took over. Life in the ghetto was terrifying and the concentration camp was filled with unimaginable horrors, but Leyson survived due to a combination of good luck and the work of Oskar Schindler, a German Nazi who saved the lives of 1,200 Jews. A true story of heartbreak, grit, and hope.


*****

The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto, written by Mitch Albom

I loved stories about lives that are unknowingly intertwined and this novel didn't disappoint. This story of a Spanish war orphan who's smuggled to America as a young child and becomes a famous musician is a beautiful tale of tragedy and triumph, heartbreak and hope, love and loss, and of music. I realized upon finishing the book that it has a companion album by the same title, which I've enjoyed listening to.

p. 15, (music, speaking of itself)  That's because I was born in the open air, in the breaks of ocean waves and the whistling of sandstorms, the hoots of owls and the cackles of tui birds. I travel in echoes. I ride the breeze. I was forged in nature, rugged and raw. Only man shapes my edges to make me beautiful.

p. 39, Sometimes I think the greatest talent of all is perseverance.

p. 95, But just because something is silent doesn't mean you aren't hearing it.

p. 140, Man searches for courage in drink, but it is not courage that he finds, it is fear that he loses. A drunken man may step off a cliff. That does not make him brave, just forgetful.

p. 162, (music, speaking of itself) For centuries, musicians have sought to find me at the end of a needle or the bottom of a drink. It is an illusion. And it often ends badly.

p. 163, It is not new, this idea that a purer art awaits you in a substance. But it is naive. I existed before the first grapes were fermented. Before the first whiskey was distilled. Be it opium or absinthe, marijuana or heroin, cocaine or ecstasy or whatever will follow, you may alter your state, but you will not alter this truth: I am Music. I am here inside you. Why would I hide behind a powder or a vapor?

Do you think me so petty?

*****

Orphan Train Rider: One Boy's True Story, written by Andrea Warren

I never knew about orphan trains until I was well into adulthood and have mixed feelings about them, but this story has about as good of an ending as possible. I love the reminder that bitterness only hurts us and we can choose to make the best of whatever circumstances come our way. The orphan trains stopped running in 1929, so there can't be very many left of the 200,000 kids that were shipped across the country to new homes.


*****

The Ragamuffin Gospel, written by Brennan Manning

We are flawed people who regularly do wrong things. And God loves us. The end. That's the gist of this book. Being honest about our shortcomings and accepting God's grace that offers us love in our brokenness, rather than continually trying (and failing) to earn that love, is what will bring peace and joy to our own lives and have a ripple effect in how we treat those around us.

p. 29, Jesus comes not for the super-spiritual but for the wobbly and the weak-kneed who know they don't have it all together, and who are not too proud to accept the handout of amazin' grace.

p. 30, Any church that will not accept that it consists of sinful men and women, and exists for them, implicitly rejects the gospel of grace.

p. 73, The trouble with our ideals is that if we live up to all of them, we become impossible to live with.

p. 74, He knows repentance is not what we do in order to earn forgiveness; it is what we do because we have been forgiven. It serves as an expression of gratitude rather than an effort to earn forgiveness.

p. 120, Quite simply, our deep gratitude to Jesus Christ is manifested neither in being chaste, honest, sober and respectable, nor in church-going, Bible-toting and Psalm-singing, but in our deep and delicate respect for each other.

p. 136, The way we are with each other is the truest test of our faith. How I treat a brother or sister from day to day, how I react to the sin-scarred wino on the street, how I respond to interruption from people I dislike, how I deal with normal people in their normal confusion on a normal day may be a better indication of my reverence for life than the anitabortion sticker on the bumper of my car.

We are not pro-life simply because we are warding off death. We are pro-life to the extent that we are men and women for others, all others; to the extent that no human flesh is a stranger to us; to the extend that we can touch the hand of another in love; to the extent that for us there are not "others."

p. 152, Compassionate love is the axis of the Christian moral revolution and the only sign ever given by Jesus by which a disciple would be recognized.

p. 159, If in our hearts we really don't believe that God loves us as we are, if we are still tainted by the lie that we can do something to make God love us more, we are rejecting the message of the cross.

p. 167, I don't think anyone reading this would have approved of throwing rocks at the poor woman in adultery, but we would have made darn sure she presented a detailed act of contrition and was firm in her purpose of amendment. Because if we let her off without saying she was sorry, wouldn't she be back into adultery before sunset?

No, the love of our God isn't dignified at all, and apparently that's the way He expects our love to be. Not only does He require that we accept His inexplicable, embarrassing kind of love, but once we've accepted it, He expects us to behave the same with with others.

p. 181, Our clumsy attempts at forgiveness often create more problems than they solve. In condescending fashion we crush and humiliate the sinner with our unbearable largesse. He may feel forgiven but utterly bereft of reassurance, consolation, and encouragement.

p. 181, The gospel of grace announces: forgiveness precedes repentance. The sinner is accepted before he pleads for mercy. It is already granted. He need only receive it. Total amnesty. Gratuitous pardon.


*****

Speaking American: How Y'all, Youse, and You Guys Talk / A Visual Guide, written and illustrated by Josh Katz

This book is a fun visual representation of the different words Americans use, as well as various pronunciations for the same words. While you can read it all in one sitting, it's also perfect for picking up when you have a few minutes to kill or need a conversation starter.


*****

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THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for the eleventh consecutive New Year's Day centered on friendship, a day filled with meaningful conversations and hysterical laughter, and for the New Year's Day two years earlier because it led to this tradition. What's something that you're thankful for?

THREE GOOD THINGS

January 1, 2012 - Eight years ago I started writing down three good things about the day before I went to bed each night. It didn't matter if they were significant or trivial, but they had to be positive and they had to be relevant to that particular day. I kept the habit for five months, then quit in a season of stress and anger surrounding my circumstances at the time. Immature, I know, but that's real life.

January 4, 2014 - After nineteen months of pouting, I decided to end my days on a positive note again. No matter how rotten a day is or how poorly I've handled the challenges I face, and believe me when I say there have been way more hard days than easy ones and that I frequently opt for irresponsible and immature responses instead of wise ones, I choose to focus on what was good as the day comes to an end. And every day has good things. Every single day.

January 1, 2020 - Not only have I stuck with this habit for six years, but I've added to it. During a super rough season of marriage, someone who's been married longer than I have and who had no idea I already wrote three good things each night, suggested I start writing down five good things about Tim at the end of each day. I knew it was wise counsel, but five things seemed impossible at the time. So I compromised with two.

I've continued the additional habit for years, through that challenging time and into a happier, healthier season of marriage. No one ever knew I wrote down good things about Tim each day, including Tim himself until I just told him a couple months ago and a couple friends during a recent discussion we had about marriage. I was encouraged in that conversation with friends to increase my list about Tim to three things per day. I accepted the challenge, so now each day of my life ends with acknowledging three good things about my life and three about my husband.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want to challenge you to do the same, to end each day acknowledging three specific things that were good about it, and the beginning of a new year is a great time to start. Super critical by nature? So am I. Easily overwhelmed by the hard things in life? I can relate. So if my negative, stressed out self can find three good things about each day, anyone can!