I'm the Queen "B" -- Wife of His Majes "T" -- Mom of four royally awesome kids: three princes and a princess.
Tuesday, September 30, 2025
PUZZLES I FINISHED - SEPTEMBER 2025
BOOKS I FINISHED - SEPTEMBER 2025
I finished ten books this month - five fiction, five non-fiction, five audio, and five print.
The Black Angels: The Untold Story of the Nurses Who Helped Cure Tuberculosis, written by Maria Smilios and narrated by Gina Daniels
How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, written by David Brooks
I appreciate books that are packed with useful information, but written in a manner that's easy to read. Such is the case with this deep dive into how we can better see people as unique individuals with stories to tell, whether in general, through the lens of the hardships in their lives, or from the vantage point of their positive traits. Drawing from a lot of scientific research and the personal experiences of many people, both well-known and unknown, it's about asking good questions, paying attention, showing empathy, and the deep need all humans have to connect with others. I learned about this book from Kendra Adachi in her May 2024 Latest Lazy Letter from The Lazy Genius.
p. 7, Wise people don't just possess information; they possess a compassionate understanding of other people. They know about life.
p. 7, Being open-hearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being. But it is not enough. People need social skills.
p. 15, How often in your life have you felt stereotyped and categorized? How often have you felt prejudged, invisible, misheard, or misunderstood? Do you really think you don't do this to others on a daily basis?
p. 26, You can be loved by a person yet not be known by them.
p. 31, If you see the people you meet as precious souls, you'll probably wind up treating them well.
p. 45, Even when you know someone well, I find that if you don't talk about the little things on a regular basis, it's hard to talk about the big things.
p. 81, If you want to build a shared connection, try sitting with their experience before you start ladling out your own.
p. 87, I've come to think of questioning as a moral practice. When you are asking a good question, you are adopting a posture of humility. You're confessing that you don't know and you want to learn. You're also honoring a person.
p. 103, The essence of evil is the tendency to obliterate the humanity of another.
p. 109, These days, if you want to know someone well, you have to see the person in front of you as a distinct and never-to-be-repeated individual. But you've also got to see that person as a member of their groups. And you've also got to see their social location - the way someone people are insiders and other people are outsiders, how some sit on the top of society and some are marginalized to the fringes. The trick is to be able to see each person on these three levels all at once.
p. 115, Remember that the person who is lower in any power structure than you are has a greater awareness of the situation than you do. A servant knows more about his master than the master knows about the servant. Someone who is being sat on knows a lot about the sitter - the way he shifts his weight and moves - whereas the sitter may not be aware that the sat-on person is even there.
p. 126 (speaking of when someone is depressed) I learned, very gradually, that a friend's job in these circumstances is not to cheer the person up. It's to acknowledge the reality of the situation; it's to hear, respect, and love them; it's to show them you haven't given up on them, you haven't walked away.
p. 216, We live in a culture that is paradigmatic rich and narrative poor. In Washington, for example, we have these political talk shows that avoid anything personal. A senator or newsmaker comes on to offer talking points on behalf of this or that partisan position. The host asks gotcha question, scripted in advance, to challenge this or that position. The guests spit out a bunch of canned talking-point answers. The whole thing is set up as a gladiatorial verbal combat. Just once I'd love to have a host put aside the questions and say, "Just tell me who you are." It would be so much more interesting, and it would lead to a healthier political atmosphere. But we don't live in a culture that encourages that.
p. 235, Today, in our identity politics world, we are constantly reducing people to categories: Black/white, gay/straight, Republican/Democrat. It's a first-rate way to dehumanize others and not see individuals.
p. 257, Successful friendship, like successful therapy, is a balance of deference and defiance. It involves showing positive regard, but also calling people on their self-deceptions.
Inside Out & Back Again, written by Thanhha Lai
Drawing from her own refugee experience of fleeing Vietnam as a child and landing in Alabama, this novel is about one pivotal year in the life of a ten year old girl. Although it's a work of fiction, it's a strong reminder of how citizens of a refugee's new country have the power to break their new neighbors' spirits or help to lift them up, that expecting newcomers to have or accept the religious beliefs we happen to hold is ridiculous, not knowing the language and customs of a foreign country someone has arrived in through traumatic circumstances doesn't make them stupid, and the English language is an absolute beast to learn if it's not what you were raised with. Written in verse, it can be read in one sitting.
p. 63, Everyone knows the ship
could sink,
unable to hold
the piles of bodies
that keep crawling on
like raging ants
from a disrupted nest
But no one
is heartless enough
to say
stop
because what if
they had been
stopped
before their turn?
p. 108, Then by chance Mother learns
sponsors prefer those
whose applications say "Christians."
Just like that
Mother amends our faith,
saying all beliefs
are pretty much the same.
p. 132, I step back,
hating pity,
having learned
from Mother that
the pity giver
feels better,
never the pity receiver
p. 135, Would be simpler
if English
and life
were logical.
p. 143, One one side
of the bright, noisy room,
light skin.
Other side,
dark skin.
Both laughing, chewing,
as if it never occurred
to them
someone medium
would show up.
Jacob Have I Loved, written by Katherine Paterson and narrated by Moira Kelly
I chose this 1980 story from Libby's "available now" options when I needed an audiobook. The main character is a girl who lives in the shadow of her twin, resenting the way her sister is revered by everyone on the small island where their family lives. She struggles to find her own place in the world, navigating various relationships within and outside of her family, working on the water with her dad, and trying to decide what she wants her future to look like. Although there were a few lines that made me chuckle and the premise intrigued me, this Newbery winner is a coming of age story that I didn't enjoy as much as I'd hoped to.
The Last Exchange, written by Charles Martin and narrated by Joshua Manning and MacLeod Andrews
A Hollywood star with a hard childhood, horrible husband, drug addiction, and years of infertility. A bodyguard with absolute dedication to protecting the star from anything and anyone who could harm the Hollywood star. This is a story of professionalism, friendship, and love all tangled up in each other, sometimes displayed in ways that are unexpected and questionable. I've only read three of Martin's books and this is the second that made me cry.
25:37, I've always believed that if you don't know something about somebody, you fill the gap with trust until you do.
4:44, "In my line of work I've met people. All kinds, all walks. Some up, some down. One things is true of all of us. Nobody has their stuff together. Not presidents, not paupers, not soldiers, not actors." He glanced at her. "We are all a mess and no amount of money, no amount of drugs changes that. When you're broken, life is about finding the beauty in the mess and then holding on for dear life. And there's no shame in that, provided we're honest about it."
10:40, "Brokenness is not weakness." She waved her hand across the crowd. "Look around. We're all broken. Welcome to the human race. Weakness is being broken, but too proud to ask for help. Sitting there thinking you got this." She shook her head once. "You don't got this. You don't got this at all. Real strength is knowing that and understanding that you're broken. Only then do you got anything."
Louder Than Hunger, written by John Schu
Walking: One Step at a Time, written by Erling Kagge and translated from Norwegian by Becky L. Crook
Given that I go on a walk every single day and love it, I was intrigued when I heard about this book on What Should I Read Next?, episode 268 - Our team's best books of the year. It's a small book that talks about why, how, and where we walk, as well as the impact that walking has on our lives, creativity, and productivity. It has separation between sections, but no chapters, and is written more like a collection of related thoughts. It felt like a gentle conversation that includes facts and quotes, not like research on walking. I enjoyed it.
p. 5, Journeys of discovery are not something you start doing, but something you gradually stop doing.
p. 84 (speaking of Magdi Habib Yacoub, the British-Egyptian surgeon who performed over 20,000 open-heart surgeries), I was curious and asked Yacoub what he had learned from studying thousands of beating human hearts. Yacoub replied, without much ado: "Go for a walk every day." He assured me that this advice would never grow outdated.
p. 91-92, What would happen if world leaders were forced to take daily walks among the people?
< snip >
There is something undemocratic in distancing yourself from the natural world, the street, and the people over whom you rule. In Norway, leading politicians fortunately walk among the electorate. They see us and we see them. They shop where we shop and have their coffee in the same coffee shops as those who put them in power.
Though you might be able to glean a lot of information from reading, listening at meetings, looking out of car windows, and peering down from your skyscraper, everything appears different if you walk along the streets where the citizens are gathering their own food for cooking, opening a shop, checking their phones, loving, reading, conversing, and thinking. From far away, the world can seem homogeneous, but your mental map no longer matches the actual terrain.
The greater the physical distance between the decision makers and those affected by the decisions, the less relevant the decisions appear to the people impacted by them.
p. 98, To walk is to enjoy simple pleasures.
What Does It Feel Like?, written by Sophie Kinsella and narrated by Sally Phillips with author's note narrated by Kinsella
I've never read any of Kinsella's books, but this novella came up as a "skip the line" option on Libby and it intrigued me. The main character is an accomplished author who's diagnosed with cancer, has brain surgery to remove the tumor, and has to relearn everything in her life. It's a short book, but shows the contentment found in her lucky personal and professional life, devotion of her husband, discouragement and confusion of knowing just enough to realize you don't know anything anymore, difficulty of breaking the news to family members, and repetition of everything from offers to help and kind words to the plastic chairs in countless waiting rooms. Although a work of fiction, the story's mostly autobiographical and was inspired by Kinsella's own recent experience with cancer. It's a heavy topic, but written in a simultaneously realistic and positive tone that I enjoyed reading.
Thursday, September 25, 2025
THANKFUL THURSDAY
I'm thankful for flushable indoor toilets. What's one thing that you're thankful for?















