10/29/23 - WORTH REPEATING

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Let us not take ourselves too seriously. None of us has a monopoly on wisdom.

- Queen Elizabeth II // 1440 Daily Digest,  9/9/23 edition


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"Sometimes when you're surrounded by dirt, CJ, you're a better witness for what's beautiful."

~ Last Stop on Market Street, written by Matt De La Pena and illustrated by Christian Robinson

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Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.

~ Ruth Bader Ginsburg // 1440 Daily Digest,  9/18/23 edition

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The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you.

~ BB King // 1440 Daily Digest,  9/16/23 edition

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True friendship is a plant of slow growth.

~ George Washington // You're My Friend So I Brought You This Book, edited by John Marvin

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People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

~ Joseph Newton // You're My Friend So I Brought You This Book, edited by John Marvin

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FOOD & FRIENDS

Several of the gals who sit near each other at church gathered for a potluck-style tea party. So much food! 

While I was off having fun with some of my friends, Tyler got to spend time playing Minecraft with one of his. 

HALLOWEEN - 2022

Naomi, Tyler, and I headed to Lee Farms for our church's Hootenanny on Thursday. We had to get proof we were all there before we went our separate ways. 

We met up with some of Natie's family and I found this crew jumping together at one point.

Naomi stayed busy volunteering at one of the activity stations. That blue tongue of hers makes me think she did some quality control on the candy she was giving out. 

It's such a blessing to be friends with the mom of the person your kid marries. Alicia and I haven't hung out in quite a while, so it was fantastic to have some time to visit.

These two were so happy to see each other! Once upon a time, quite a while ago, Flo used to hold Naomi in the nursery at church. Those days are long gone, but now that former baby got to hook the former nursery worker up with some candy.

Some friends came over for pumpkin carving on Friday evening. You could tell they were concentrating on the task because this normally chatty group was really quiet for a while. Snacks, jack-o-lanterns, laughter, and moms chatting in another room made for a fun time.

Woodburn had their second annual trunk or treat downtown. We didn't go last year, but I asked Tyler if he was interested this time around. He was. It was quick, fun, and he came home with candy. Bonus points for seeing friends arriving about the same time we did. The boys tried to take a picture together, which was comical because they couldn't get their arms around each other.

Three consecutive days of Halloween fun, but we'll probably lay low on the actual holiday. 

COOKIES FOR FRIENDS

Some friends passed through town today with hopes of stopping by for a short visit with our family, so I baked cookies to send them off with. Once we realized it wasn't going to make sense for them to stop, we made a spontaneous switch to a quick meetup in a parking lot near the freeway to give them a bunch of cookies for the rest of their trip. Five minutes with friends isn't much, but it's definitely better than no time at all. And cookies are always a good thing!

CHANCE ENCOUNTER

Oh. My. Word! I'm waiting for a prescription to be ready and decided to just sit in the car instead of wandering through the store. I hadn't been here more than a couple minutes when my childhood pastor and his wife walked right by the passenger window. I jumped out, called their name, and got to spend a few minutes talking.

I'm FB friends with two of their daughters, but other than a brief encounter maybe five years ago, I haven't seen them in probably twenty-five years. They asked about my dad, recently listened to a recording of my mom's memorial service, shared what they always appreciated about her as our church pianist, and said I had good parents. What an awesome surprise to run into them!

I'd just told Tim that I was frustrated my plans for productivity today weren't working out and told the kids I wish I hadn't forgotten to bring a book with me. But if I'd been working on what I planned on doing, decided to wander the store, or had been engrossed in a book, I'd have missed this moment.

A STRAWBERRY GALETTE

One of my friends loves to cook and bake, whether following recipes or coming up with her own creations, and feeding people the delicious things she makes is one of her favorite things to do. Tonight she brought strawberry galettes, made with berries she'd picked the previous day, to another friend and I at church. They were still warm from the oven, so I had to take them out to our cars because it made our area of the room smell like an amazing bakery. Needless to say, that would have been a distraction during the service. The smell taunted me on the drive home and I cut into my galette about thirty seconds after I walked in the door. So delicious!

A PEACEFUL & PRODUCTIVE DAY

This morning Michelle and I met for a walk around Molalla River State Park (she'd been there before, I hadn't), did some shopping at The Book Nook (first visit for both of us), and enjoyed a delicious lunch outside at Wayward Sandwiches (I'd been there before, she hadn't). It was a perfect way to spend a few hours! 

Sidenote: The book and puzzle were bought used from The Book Nook. I'd read The Eleventh Trade before (it's great!) and we love Dowdle puzzles, so Plymouth (never done it before) came home with me. 

Silas and Natie came over later in the afternoon because he wanted to split firewood and we just happened to have plenty that needed to be split. The two of us spent a chunk of time working together, him splitting and me stacking. So thankful for the help!

 

BOOKS I FINISHED - MARCH 2022

 

The Forest of Vanishing Stars, written by Kristin Harmel

Raised in the isolation of the wilderness by someone who doesn't trust people, the same person who kidnapped her, a young woman has the opportunity to help Jewish people who are fleeing the Nazis. They need her knowledge of the forest in order to survive, and she needs to be part of their lives in order to learn to live her own. 

p. 70, Humans had a responsibility to do more than just protect themselves. In the face of evil, they were compelled to save each other. It was the only way mankind could survive.

p. 269, But vengeance would only taste sweet for a second, and then it would be a permanent stain on her soul.

p. 311, "I'm broken, too. But sometimes it's the jagged edges that allow us to fit together. Sometimes it's the breaks that make us strong."

A Secret Shared, written by Patricia MacLachlan

Twins discover by accident that their younger sister isn't related to them biologically, then wonder why that information has been withheld from them. This middle grade novel is about the love of family, commitment of friendship, positive impact of caring adults in the lives of kids, and value of being honest with the people close to us.

Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First.: 10 Questions to Take Your Friendships to the Next Level, written by Laura Tremaine

Simultaneously vulnerable and light-hearted, this book guides the reader through a process of learning to deepen relationships. One doesn't have to relate to all the author's experiences or share all the same perspectives in order to glean practical ideas and valuable principles from the questions she poses.

p. 71, I didn't doubt in the darkness what I had known in the light.

p. 153, I had spouted a lot of opinions theoretically for a long time, about politics and religion and bootstraps and aid. It's easy to talk about who deserves help and personal accountability from the comfort of a first world home. But all philosophical arguments are lost when you're faced with a human in need in front of you. I'm embarrassed that I have to keep learning this. 

PI(E) DAY POTLUCK - 2022

It's been a while since we invited people over to eat pie with us on March 14th (3.14, for those who missed the pi/pie connection), so we opened our door this year. It was a fun evening filled with delicious food! 

There was one savory pie (not pictured) for those who needed real food and seven sweet pies (one arrived after the picture was taken) for gluttony. 

A total of seventeen people stopped by over the course of the evening, including these six boys. I think they had more fun jumping on the trampoline in the rain, playing a raucous game of Uno, and jumping onto a pile of blankets and couch cushions than they did eating pie. That's fine. More for me. 

 

PAM CAME OVER

We got to see Pam this morning! It was wonderful to spend a couple hours visiting with this dear friend. I'm so thankful she squeezed some time at our home into a tight schedule. 

DEPRESSION AND A STUFFED RABBIT

This little stuffed rabbit sits on a shelf in my closet where I see it every day. I named it Caramel, both for its color and for the fact it came in an Easter basket filled with a variety of caramel candies. It was given to me by one friend, but it serves as a daily reminder of a small group of people who have supported me in various ways during a really long, really gnarly season of depression. 

I keep typing and deleting, trying to figure out what's worth sharing, whether for the sake of my own documentation or to encourage someone else in the trenches of their own depression. So this may be a bit rambling. Just like life.

Today I realized it's been exactly one year since I told someone I was looking into the possibility of starting an antidepressant. A whole year. I can't believe it's been that long.

I'd had three previous seasons of major depression as an adult. A friend who's seen my minor ups and downs over the years has asked me a handful of times if I need an antidepressant. I've thanked her for her concern each time, as sometimes we're blind to our own need for help, but assured her I knew what depression was like because of my past experiences and that what she was seeing was just an ordinary rough patch. 

I got depressed again a while ago. Obviously depressed. Really depressed. One day I realized all those times my friend had asked me about meds, as well as many other times, were, in fact, depression. They were mild, which is why I hadn't recognized them for what they were, but that meant I'd been battling depression for most of my adulthood. Feeling completely weary and totally hopeless, concerned about how the low points had been coming more frequently and lasting longer each time, I decided to get help. 

I was open to taking meds, but ended up going to counseling instead. I'm so thankful for that time. Several counseling sessions with my therapist later, armed with new insights and a variety of coping skills to use, I was feeling much better. There was still work to do, but I was starting to live and function in a way that was more sustainable.

I liken the choice to ease up on the pursuit of meds in favor of counseling to choosing not to take blood pressure medicine until you see what happens when you make dietary changes. I desperately wanted my head and heart to be in a good place, but I also didn't want to medicate something that I could, and should, fix by changing my behavior. It was the right decision and I still go through the flashcards I made of things I learned in counseling several times a week, as I want to continue being proactive in taking care of my mental health. 

Then, in the aftermath of a meltdown a few months ago, I made a decision that was simultaneously spontaneous and a long time coming. I started an antidepressant. It was the right decision and I'm thankful for emotional stability as I continue working on my own junk. Depression is completely exhausting and this season of chemically-induced respite has been such a gift. 

The plan is to wean off at a predetermined point in time and see what happens. If I'm one who just needed some help to get over the last hump of a season of depression, which is the approach I'm taking, then I'll be done and move on with new habits that I've developed (or, more accurately, am developing). But if it becomes clear that I'm one who needs long-term help with keeping my head and heart in a good place, then I'll be grateful for medication that does the job and continue taking it. 

So, back to Caramel and the people that stuffed rabbit represents. 

Questions about how I was feeling. Prayers. Hugs. Reminders not to isolate. Treats and notes of encouragement at church. Kindness when I took extended breaks from church. Listening to my verbal processing. Happy mail. Questions about how counseling was going. Phone calls. Texts. E-mails. Facebook messages. Video chats. Practical help with making decisions. Lunch dates. Words of affirmation. Personal stories of similar struggles. 

I could go on, but the bottom line is that kindness matters. It matters a lot. If you know someone is struggling with depression on any level, show up for them in whatever way you're able. And remember that you often won't know that the person you're interacting with is depressed. They may not look the part at all, but your behavior and attitude will either add to their burden or ease a little piece of it. So just be kind. 

As for me, I'm so very thankful to be crawling out of the hole of depression over the last year. I'm still a work in progress, but I've had loving hands reach out to help pull me up. That little stuffed rabbit reminds me every day of my gratitude for those people and encourages me to keep moving forward. 

TYLER'S BIRTHDAY - 2021

This guy's another year older! 

Tyler had some friends come over for a few hours on Sunday and they all decided to play Uno with college rules for a while. 

After dinner they made oobleck and had lots of fun playing with it. Well, they tried to make it in the individual bowls I gave them, but that quickly proved to be impractical. Devon and Naomi swooped in and saved the day. They dumped each boy's oobleck into a larger bowl, added a bunch more cornstarch and water, mixed it all up, then refilled each boy's bowl with their own portion of oobleck. I was thankful for their help!

One of Tyler's friends happens to be one of Natie's brothers, so the two siblings were able to spend a little time together at the party. I snapped a picture for their mom's benefit, but it's cute and I'm including it here. 

I asked them to all strike a pose after Tyler opened cards and gifts they'd brought. One smiling. 

And one silly, of course.

Next up was an indoor snowball fight, which was a huge hit. No pun intended. They pelted each other for an hour, right up until they left for home. 

It was a fun time with tons of laughter!

Today was about celebrating with family. (The exception being reading all sorts of birthday messages posted on my Facebook page and getting a text from a man at church he's friends with.) He got a text from an aunt, started a birthday greeting text exchange with a cousin who was born on the same date a decade earlier, answered a video call from some bonus Ws, talked on the phone with grandparents in two states, ate the dinner of his choice with me and the sibs, was taken to pick up his free birthday drink at Dutch by a brother and sister-in-law, and spent time opening gifts and cards from various relatives with the Ws.

This is how Silas hauled Tyler out to the car when they left for a birthday drink. There are some things that only big brothers do. This is one of them. 

Tim had to unexpectedly work late, which made a whole family picture unattainable, but I made sure to get one of all the sibs. They have their share of conflict and they drive me crazy at times, but they also laugh together a lot and put thought into gifts they choose for each other. I love that.

 And that was that. The end of birthday fun for Tyler.

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HALLOWEEN - 2021

Our church decided to do another hootenanny at Lee Farms this year instead of the traditional harvest party at the church. It was a few days early, as it's an all-day affair and scrapping church services on Sunday for a party isn't going to happen. Naomi, Tyler, and I spent a few hours visiting with friends, jumping on bounce pillows, traipsing through hay mazes, doing sack races, participating in various game booths, and going on hay and train rides. The sun wasn't shining like last year, but it was warm and the rain held off while we were there. Fun way to spend part of our day!

We've always spent several hours at church on Halloween because of the harvest festival, so this year we didn't have any plans. Tyler asked if he could go trick-or-treating, but then we were invited to the farm church harvest festival. Devon had to work, but the rest of us decided to head up the mountain. Friends, sunshine, hay rides, game booths, some time singing and talking about Jesus, and a ton of food made for a great way to celebrate the holiday.

 

THE START & END OF SATURDAY

I got a text this morning from someone asking if I was home. I confirmed that I was, then they said they'd left some cider at our door. I went out to get it and discovered they'd also life cider doughnuts, both from Bauman's. Yum! 

This evening Tim and I joined Mike and Marie for a double date at Oswego Grill. We went out for a meal a couple years ago with our kids and their grandkids, and Tim's met up with Mike for some guy time, but this was the first time the four of us hung out together.  It was fun to spend a couple hours eating and visiting.

TIME WITH GABI

I'm always thankful for time with our original bonus W, including the few hours he spent with us today. So glad Gabi was our neighbor for a season so that he could become our friend!

FOOTBALL WITH FRIENDS

I got back tonight from a fantastic weekend with my sister, which I'll post about tomorrow because it's late and it will take a while to go through the pictures, but thought I'd get these three up tonight. 

I was able to spend a little bit of time with Shon and the boys on my way home. It was a beautiful day, so we headed to a park where they could practice some football plays. I plopped myself down in the grass and just relaxed while I watched. Snapped a few pictures for their fam, but figured I'd also put them here. 

Wrapped up our time outside, then I went home to see Tim and the kids. 

 

MOONCAKES

One of our neighbors came over to give us fresh snowy mooncakes with red bean paste filling tonight. None of us had ever had any type of mooncake before, so it was neat to try something from another culture. Some Ws weren't fans of the texture, but we all agreed they looked awesome. I'm grateful for generous neighbors. 

TWO TREATS

A friend who makes fantastic chocolate chip cookies gave our family a plate piled high with them on Sunday. 

A neighbor showed up at our door today with a fresh apple pie, which we ate in the front yard a few hours later. 

 Sweet food from sweet people.

FAREWELL LUNCH

Shannon is one who quietly goes about her life making people feel seen and loved. I've seen her bless other people, but I've also had the honor of being on the receiving end of her kindness multiple times. From silly GIFs because she knows I love them to a listening ear when some aspect of life is hard (which is a big deal because I use waaaaaaay more words than she does) to gestures of support in various situations, she's made me feel valued over and over. She's a treasure. 

She's moving, which I don't approve of, but she was able to meet for lunch before she left, which I definitely approve of. Food and friends are always a win! So I picked up Alicia and the three of us spent a little part of our day talking and eating before saying goodbye. I really appreciate both of these gals and it was a gift to have some time with the two of them today. 

LOTS OF FAMILY (& A LITTLE BIT OF FRIEND) TIME

We were in Medford over the weekend and had a great time. Here's a recap.

FRIDAY

Naomi, Tyler, and I hit the road first thing Friday morning. But not before laughing because we'd set the timer for way too long on the camera and were hitting the awkward smile phase. (And I mean even more awkward than my brackets and rubber bands smile already is these days.)

Last year Devon challenged Tyler and a friend to keep their fingers touching the roof for as long as possible on a road trip. They lasted about forty-five minutes. Winner got a pack of gum. Naomi did a modified version for Tyler this time, asking if he could do it for the last twenty minutes of the trip. He did. She gave him candy.

It's been almost a year since Dad and Debra lost everything they owned in the Almeda Fire. Having a rental to live in for the past nine months or so is a privilege that many who lost their homes haven't had, so I'm incredibly thankful a home was available and that their insurance paid for it. However, being able to settle in a permanent place is a huge blessing and I was super excited to visit their new home with two of my kids. It's a fantastic place, filled with lots of natural light. I'm so happy for them as they move into this next season of life.

Our weekend was dedicated to family stuff, but Carol, who I'd invited to stop by the gallery, asked if we could meet for a meal. We couldn't, but we did happen to have a little block of time to squeeze her into. We met up for ice cream at Sweet Cream and had time to visit, both with and without the kids. I've only known her for ten months, but she's one of those people I loved right from the start. She's kind, gentle, a wonderful encourager, and truly cares about everyone who crosses her path. I appreciated being able to share some of my life with her and hear her words of wisdom.

Sidenote: I found out at Dad's that he and Debra know Carol. And they met her eight years ago! I guess I'd never mentioned her name to them and she never made the connection because she didn't know my maiden name. I love small world moments.

My sister, Belinda, is such a talented artist! To spend the evening with her at Art du Jour Gallery during the Third Friday Art Walk was a huge treat. There was a steady stream of relatives both local and from out of town (I hadn't seen some of my brother-in-law's relatives in several years, but we're all from the same town), friends from different parts of her life (it was fun for me to meet them), and people she'd never met before who came and supported her as this month's featured artist at the gallery. I think I'd previously seen all twenty paintings either in her home or on her professional social media pages, but it was pretty impressive to see them all on display at once. I'm so glad I was able to be there for her big night!

She took the next three pictures and passed them along to me because they have me or my kids in them. First, sisters. 

Second, my sister with her son, her niece, and one of her nephews.

Finally, the three Perkins girls.

Some of my friends came to the gallery (two who'd never met my sister, two who met her at Silas and Natie's wedding, and one she's spent some one-on-one time with) and it was good to see them. It was special to see Don and Katy. We'd had a few minutes to visit at my church when they were in town a few weeks ago and thought that was the last time we'd probably ever be in the same place. To see them again for another few minutes was great. I also appreciated Carol hanging out downtown for a while in order to come and Nicole and Brittney rearranging their evening to allow for a gallery visit.

Sidenote: I found out Katy and Ashley recently met, but neither of them knew about the other's connection to me. Now they know! Have I mentioned I love small world moments?

SATURDAY

Ashley, one of my step-sisters, lost the home she shared with roommates in the Almeda Fire last September. It was a horrible experience that turned out to be the catalyst for buying her own home. She's lived there for several months now, but this was my first time visiting.I also got to bring two kids who were seeing it for the first time and another who saw it in the bare bones days right after she got keys. It's perfect for her! It was really cool to see such a huge blessing come from such a huge tragedy.

Tim wasn't expecting to be able to join us for the weekend, but plans changed and he arrived mid-day, and Silas had come down separately. The temperature was perfect and the smoke cleared, so my family, my sister's family, Dad, Debra, and Ashley enjoyed hanging out in the back yard for lunch, floats, games, swimming, a contagious case of the giggles, conversation, and even a haircut. It was a perfect way to spend an afternoon! I'm so very thankful we live close enough to make these family gatherings possible from time to time and that Beep took this group shot of the whole crew.

Later in the evening we had the kids find something to do while Beep, Josh, Tim, and I played Drawful 2 and Fibbage via a TV screen and our phones. Both games were new to me and Tim, but they were easy to learn and made me laugh. I love laughing, but don't do it enough, so ending a fun day by playing funny games was pretty awesome.

SUNDAY 

We joined my sister's family at their church. I cried a bit. I'm thankful for people who are vulnerable about their struggles. I also got to meet more people my sister knows and ran into Loren and Melindsa, a couple I've been acquainted with for probably twenty-five years because we knew a lot of the same people, but haven't seen in at least sixteen.

Sidenote: Melinda recently met my sister, but didn't know we were related because we have different last names. Another small world moment this weekend!

We'd planned on stopping by to see Shon, Devry, and Michael on our way out of town, which turned into meeting them for lunch. The plan was to head home once we were done, but our family traveling in two cars meant the W guys were able to make a spontaneous decision to stay longer. Naomi and I headed out after lunch, but the guys spent the rest of the afternoon together.

I was able to say a quick hello and give a hug to Cindy and Betty after we gassed up for the drive home. Less than five minutes together, but it was still good to see them. 

Three days of important milestones, special people, and positive experiences filled up my emotional tank!

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