SISTERS' WEEKEND - 2021

Beep and I got away for our third annual sisters' weekend over the last few days. (Or maybe our fourth? Depends on if we count the first year, even though we stayed at my home that time.) As always, the break from real life, resting without any set schedule, and time spent together was wonderful. 

We go somewhere different each fall and this time we decided to go back to our hometown as Perkins girls. I think it's been twenty years since we've been there at the same time, so it was special to go with someone who shares the same memories.

FRIDAY - We met in Medford before carpooling to Brookings, so our first stop was lunch at Tosu. We ate a delicious lunch that included my first sushi experience, watched a family's surprise reunion that was filled with tears and smiles, then stopped by WinCo to get groceries for our weekend. Our evening was spent at Harris, just walking along the beach and watching the sunset. 

Notice our matching hoodies? The art is one of my sister's new BMoff designs that she added some writing to (there's more on the back) and surprised me with for our weekend. We headed back to our room at Ocean Suites Motel after the sunset and caught the last color of the evening sky from the deck.

SATURDAY - We spent a chunk of our morning driving by places that were significant in our childhood - the four homes we lived in, original building of the church we grew up in, and the campus of a private school we attended. We also took some time to stop by Mom's grave together.

After lunch in our room, we headed back out to wander around the boardwalk and get ice cream at Slugs 'n Stones, then went down to the port. The sunshine and stillness of the previous night had been pretty, but we both also loved the blustery day with choppy water as we walked up and down the beach. 

Beep's a sneaky photographer and caught me watching the water. 

The obligatory picture of the back of our custom hoodies.

As we walked back to our car, we passed a group taking a picture together. I offered to take it for them so the gal holding her camera in selfie mode with everyone behind her could sit with them. She declined, but someone else in the group asked if I'd take one with her phone. It was at that point, as I turned to face the group, that I realized it was the same family we'd watched be reunited the day before. I love small world moments! 

We told them we'd seen them at Tosa, took their picture, then went back to our room to spend an evening chatting, looking at old photo albums and scrapbooks, and putting together a puzzle we'd picked up at Goodwill earlier in the day. 

SUNDAY - Having already spent time at two different beaches, we opted to head up river for our final hometown nature fix. We drove out to Loeb and were the only people at the water. So peaceful! We strolled from one end to the other, pausing to watch birds, skip rocks, and look at pretty flowers, then looped through the campground back to our car. 

I have no idea how many times I jumped off this rock as a kid. Lots and lots.

Our last stop was lunch at Pizza Deli, paid for with money someone had generously given us for a weekend indulgence. Then we headed back to Medford and parted ways. 

I'm so thankful for a season of life where this tradition of a weekend together each year is possible. It's definitely an oxygen mask thing for me, a refreshing time that helps keep my head and heart in a good place.  

(Photo credit: All the pictures of people are from Beep's camera.)

FRIENDS, FAMILY, & FRIENDS THAT ARE LIKE FAMILY

I made another quick trip to Brookings yesterday for a memorial gathering that happened today and asked some friends, who both happened to be high school classmates of mine, if I could spend the night at their home. They happened to be camping at Loeb and invited me to join them. Awesome! Despite spending countless hours at Loeb over the years, I've never camped there. In fact, I'd never even been in the campground area of the park. How crazy is that?!

I got to see Johnny and Mandie, hang out with a group of their friends and extended family, eat Johnny's awesome s'mores, and stay up late talking about life with Mandie. I also got to meet Kristin. Finally! She and I connected through Pampered Chef a few years ago and know tons of the same people, but she's been gone every time I've been in town. I didn't think to get a picture with Mandie this time around, but I did get one with Kristin to prove we were actually in the same place at the same time.

I wanted to stop by the cemetery the next morning. As I always say, grief's a gnarly beast. Mom's been gone almost thirty years, but lately I've had a hard time with some aspects of her death. She's obviously not at the cemetery, but sometimes being there is helpful to me. Some friends who were in town for the memorial were also heading to the cemetery, so we met up there. I spent a few minutes at Mom's gravesite, shed some tears, pulled myself together, and then we all explored the cemetery for a while.

The memorial that I'd come to town for was next. It was a small gathering for Billy, a man I barely knew, but whose extended family has been friends of mine (and eventually of all the other Ws) since I was in high school. I'd spent part of an afternoon visiting with him two summers ago, sat near his deathbed as I visited with his wife and one of his daughters last summer, and was invited to join the gathering they'd planned for this summer. It was an honor to be included. I'm not sharing any pictures of the family, but here's evidence of the perfect weather we had. 

We all went to Pizza Deli for lunch and conversation before heading our separate ways. I grabbed a quick picture with Cindy, Shon, Devry, and Michael, the part of the family I've been friends with for so long, on my way out. If I'd been smart, I'd have done it when everyone was energetic and happy a couple hours earlier. Instead I waited until the boys were tired and uninterested in taking a picture. Oops. Such is life. At least there's proof we all saw each other.

This was my third quick trip to Brookings in about six weeks (one with Naomi and Tyler, one alone last week, and this one) and my third trip out of town in eleven days (all alone - one by design, two because that's how schedules worked out). So I drove home to my family. And I'm staying home for quite a while. 

REMEMBERING LINDA

Mom and Linda first met when their boys were in preschool together back in the mid 80s. In the late 80s they became part of a group of women in our small town who were diagnosed with breast cancer around the same time as each other.

Mom died a couple years later, but Linda's grim prognosis didn't come to pass. Three years ago she celebrated the gift of thirty more years of life instead of the five or less she'd been told to expect. Then, just a short time later, her cancer returned and metastasized. The grim prognosis that time was a few months, but she got three more years. I got word of her passing a few hours after she died. I cried. 

Reminiscing about the last three times I saw her.

2013 - I ran into her and John at the Portland Saturday Market, the first time I'd seen her in nearly twenty years and the only time I've ever been at the market.

2015 - I made a quick "marking the day" trip to Brookings when I reached Mom's age of death and extended an open invitation for friends to join me at Pizza Deli for dinner. Linda showed up and it was wonderful to visit with her as an adult myself. More importantly, it was really special to see her, someone who was friends with Mom and shared a cancer experience, on a trip that was all about a Mom milestone. I was so glad she was healthy all these years after her diagnosis.

2018 - My family headed to Brookings on a camping trip and extended an open invitation for friends to drop by Azalea Park to visit that evening. Again, Linda showed up and I was excited to introduce her to the other Ws. It was after her second cancer diagnosis and she wasn't feeling her best, which made it even more special that she made a point to come.

Linda and I weren't super close and our communication was sometimes sporadic, but I'm so thankful for regular contact the last several years. She was a tie to Mom. She loved Jesus, her family, and the people in her life. She was always smiling, encouraging, and grateful. She will be missed.

I was able to travel home for her memorial service yesterday. It was a quick trip without much time for anything extra, so I was thankful for a few minutes to just sit and enjoy the beautiful day when I first pulled into town. Such a pretty place!

I want to share a few things Linda's friends and family said that I needed to hear. I'm sharing partly because some of you probably need the little pep talk like I did and partly because having it in writing means I'll be able to remind myself later on.

* Invest in relationships with the people around you, both intentionally and proactively.

* Our words are powerful.

* If you had three years to live, how would you spend them? If you'd do things differently than you are now, what changes can you start making today?

* Ask hard questions. Have conversations of substance.

* Start at the end and work back. Think about how you want to be remembered after you've died, then figure out the steps it takes to get there.

* Love Jesus. Love others. And the second of the two is easier if you start with the first.

THE FIRST MEETING OF OLD FRIENDS

Kore and I have known each other for fifteen years, but we live in different parts of the country and our entire friendship has been online. She happened to be visiting my state this month, and also happened to be in two of the places I've previously lived. Needless to say, I took a road trip. Well, we did. Tim and Devon couldn't make it, but Naomi and Tyler came with me. 

We headed to Medford yesterday afternoon, as soon as Tyler got his math done for the year, stopping at Rogue Wear before we did anything else. We've obviously not local, but we love that shop and stop by almost every time we're in town. The owner, Tesha, recognizes us each time and always asks questions that show she pays attention to her customers.

We made our purchases, then stopped by unannounced at our Davis dudes' home so I could give something to Cindy before she went back to her own place. We didn't take any pictures, but I was able to talk with Cindy for quite a while, my kids made the most of their limited time with Devry and Michael, and Shon got home from work in time to visit for a little bit before our family needed to leave. 

Next stop was my sister's home. She and Josh were kind enough to let us stay with them for a night so that our travel time for today would be cut by about three hours. Josh made a Filipino dinner that we'd never had before. It was delicious! Neo and my kids laughed their way through eating dinner outside and then hunkered down to watch a movie together. Meanwhile, Beep and I headed out after dinner for a long, brisk walk that involved pointing out all the things we loved about various old houses. 

The weather was perfect for a rainbow, but we didn't see one. Until we did. And it was a double, but only one side. 

Finally, the whole thing. Or at least two sides.

Pictures never do a rainbow justice, but it became more vibrant as time went by. 

We took a quick picture of ourselves with the double rainbow in the background as we neared the end of our walk. 

It was a fantastic way to spend an evening!

This morning I was able to hang out with my sister as she worked in her studio, then took a quick picture of the cousins before we left town. They're all looking so grown up!

Our first stop was Dad and Debra's to drop something off and have a quick morning visit before we had to hit the road. I (obviously) didn't check the picture before I left, so we'll just pretend it's not blurry and that Tyler's chin wasn't cut off. Even though this trip was about Kore, I'm so glad we got to see family along the way! 

Although I've been to Medford multiple times since the Almeda Fire, I hadn't driven from there to Brookings yet. So much fire damage! Acres and acres and acres of burned trunks and short stumps where tall trees have been cut down because they'd been burned to a crisp. Such a sad sight!

Finally, Brookings. I love my hometown! It was strange to only be there for a few hours, and stranger still to not have told anyone I was going to be in town. But that's the only way I could squeeze a visit with Kore into a pretty busy week. And seeing her was really important to me.

It was so awesome to spend several hours together! We met up for lunch at The Hungry Clam. I'd never eaten there before, but my shrimp melt was so tasty! Then we headed to Kore's home away from home after lunch for a mix of small talk, serious discussion, time with family, and time alone. We had to get a picture together, of course, and I asked for two. One with indirect natural light, because it's the best lighting for pictures. 

And one outside in the sun with squinting eyes and sharp shadows to prove we met up in my hometown. 

The kids spent the afternoon chatting, enjoying the beach, and playing ping pong together. And they cooperated with a picture, even though none of them wanted to take one. Champs!

We wrapped up our visit with a stop at Slugs 'N Stones. Ice cream eaten in the sunshine at the port with friends, followed by a stroll down the boardwalk to see this year's Art at the Port entries and check out the Chetco Indian Memorial Project. Perfect. It may not be the best picture and I'd already licked a bunch of the ice cream off before I thought to snap a picture, but here's proof of this happy ending to our time in Brookings.

I'm thankful for technology that allows friendships to develop across the miles. I'm also thankful that Kore and I were finally able to spend time together face to face. Today was such a treat! 

Our trip home was uneventful, with the exception of a gorgeous sky in the evening. The first thing we noticed was a tiny section of rainbow off in the dip of the skyline. See it?

Better? 

Tyler said the sky reminded him of when the state was on fire last September, minus the stench of smoke. He was right. The pictures don't fully capture it, but that whole side of the sky had rain clouds with a pink glow. And the other side of the sky was the explanation for the color. Just like rainbows, sunsets never look as great in pictures as they do in person. The sunset was absolutely stunning! 

Gorgeous sunset on one side, glowing sky with a mini rainbow on the other. A perfect ending to a perfect day. 

 

END OF SUMMER ROAD TRIP, PART TWO - BROOKINGS

After spending the last half of Friday through the first half of Sunday in Medford and Ashland, we headed over to Brookings for a few days. We set up camp at Harris, then went to Azalea to eat a picnic lunch and see who'd accept our open invitation to come visit. 

Two of these gals (and one of their husbands) spent a few hours with us at KidTown and we walked over to see the other at a softball game. I had a good time reminiscing about the past, talking about the present, and laughing with Mandie, Tiff, and Jamie. (And Johnny, all four of whom were my classmates.)

We got back to the campground just in time to catch the last part of the sunset. So pretty!

Tim and I basked in the romantic glow of the fire back at our site. 

Kidding! Campfires aren't allowed right now because everything's too dry, so we were actually in the glow of a battery operated camping light. Whatever works. 

Devon and Silas shut the night down playing rat slap together.

Tyler and I were breakfast squatters as we started off day four of our trip.

I lived in Brookings for eleven years, but whether from lack of interest or awareness, my family didn't visit many of the cool spots along the coastline. Tim and Silas had to go home later in the day, so I tried to squeeze in both new and old beaches and trails along the Samuel H. Boardman Corridor that morning. No real plan. Just drove up the highway a while, then made stops on our way back to camp. 

First stop, Arch Rock Viewpoint. 

I love finding trees stuck in trees when we're hiking.

Second stop, Thunder Rock Cove & Secret Beach. We had a communication breakdown at a junction, so some of the fam went on the beach trail and others took the viewpoint loop (but joined the beach Ws when they were done). I missed the viewpoint, so I'll have to check it out next time.

Tyler took his shoes off as soon as we hit the beach and exclaimed, "Sand between the toes is so awesome!"

He loves digging hand tunnels!

See Devon up at the top?

Tim looked pretty content.

I love to see things growing on rocks, especially really tall rocks.

Devon and Tyler tried to build a dam.

Looking down on the beach that we'd just spent a lot of time on as we headed back up the trail.

Third stop, Cape Ferrelo Viewpoint. 

Fourth stop, Lone Ranch Beach.

We hung out here for quite a while, then went back to our campsite. Tim and Silas loaded up their stuff, then we stopped by Semi Aquatic, one of our favorite shops, for various Ws who wanted to do some shopping there. Next stop? Pizza Deli for a late, gluttonous lunch. Their taco pizza is one of my favorite pizzas ever! The only proof all 6 Ws were in town together is this picture taken after lunch with harsh lighting and tipped heads as the two adult guys headed back home to work. Such is life. 

Not pictured from the first half of the day? The two times I succumbed to tears. Some road trip moments are better than others, and the less awesome ones are better left off the camera.

Tim and Silas bailed at this point and the rest of us ran a couple errands. Visited Goodwill in hopes I'd find a hoodie from my high school (no such luck), bought ice, and made mandatory stop at Wildwood: The Shop of Multifarious Goods (splurged on a candle and a super cute, tiny pottery vase). 

After eight hours on the go, we all needed some down time. Devon and Tyler hunkered down in what had just changed from the kid tent to the boy tent for a game of cribbage that Devon had just snagged at Goodwill.

Naomi hunkered down in the sun with a book she bought at Goodwill.

I found a spot in the shade and started a library book I'd brought along.

We wanted to climb the butte for the sunset, but the kids also wanted a little time on the beach first. So we did both. Tyler asked me to take a picture of his buried legs.

Arrived at one of my favorite sunset spots just in time for the sun to show through the railing.

We visited with other folks who were up there and had one of them take our picture. 

And this is how we ended our jam-packed fourth day on the road. I'll be forever grateful to have grown up with scenes like this being so ordinary that they didn't phase me. 

I went to bed that night looking at countless stars in the sky, but woke up on day five to hot wind and high smoke. We weren't anywhere near a fire, but it turns out there there was a major windstorm across the state that blew heat and smoke from existing wildfires our direction. 

Thankfully it didn't smell smoky, so we ate breakfast and took off for another day outside. This time the kids requested that we head to the port, so that's where we went. This outing was a lot less hanging out together and much more of people just doing their own thing. You have to look closely, but there are three little Ws in this picture. Naomi had her nose back in her book, Tyler's digging in the sand behind and to the left of her, and Devon was rock hounding behind and to the left of Tyler. 

I enjoyed some peaceful time at the beach and unintentionally got proposal jetty in the background of my selfie. (That's not actually the name of it, but it does happen to be where Tim proposed to me a lifetime ago.)

Tyler's wall and keep.

Devon's freehand Calvin.

Life in a coastal town on a smoky day.

There's a little mask you can see floating down in the docks. The only red and black camo mask we could find on Etsy when we all bought masks. We have plenty of generic masts, so life goes on, but it's possible I didn't handle that situation graciously.

By this time the smoke was getting thicker in town. It still looked clear up river, so we went that way. Still smoky, but not as bad. Our plan was to hit Loeb, but we discovered the whole park was shut down once when we arrived. Next option? Social Security Bar. We had a picnic lunch, skipped rocks, and just hung out for about an hour.

Ready to move on, we went back to our campsite, then down to the beach again. By this time it was quite smoky, but still high enough that it wasn't unpleasant to be out in. It made for some interesting lighting (some of these pictures look smokier than it was because the camera naturally filtered the shots), but the smell wasn't very strong.

A face.

A face attached to a boy who was buried while standing.

A buried boy next to the boy who buried him.

My picture doesn't do the scene justice because the lighting was stunning. There were so many people taking pictures because it was surreal. Just gorgeous!

Right about now is when there started to be a shift in the tone of our trip. Other than hopping on Facebook once a day to upload pictures, I'd stayed offline and unplugged while we were on the road. However, I'd received a message on Monday night, which I didn't see until Tuesday morning, that a friend's grandpa had died. It was an expected loss, but no loss is easy. I did a quick video chat to just check in with my friend and found out there was a fire in the Ashland/Medford area, which is where much of my extended family lives and where we'd just spent two nights. I wasn't worried, though. I mean, it's Oregon. And it's fire season. And I didn't know much more than it was along the freeway.

In the middle of that video chat, I turned around and saw Nancy, someone I've known since I was a kid. Both of us were surprised, so she indicated I should finish my conversation while she went to take pictures of the cool lighting. I hadn't seen her since my "marking the day" trip more than five years ago, so we visited for a bit before going our separate ways. 

I called Tim next, just to check in and see how things were going. During that conversation I got a message from one of Dad's former co-workers asking if he'd evacuated. What in the world? I told her she was the second person in fifteen minutes to mention the fire and that I'd call my dad.

I called. He and Debra had evacuated. Level three, police officers banging on the door kind of evacuation. While I was talking to him, I got a message from another friend asking if I was home yet and if I knew about the new fire. I called, confirmed that I knew and Dad and evacuated. Messaged Tim to let him know about the evacuation, then headed back to our campsite with the kids.

That evening Devon and Tyler taught me how to play cribbage. I'm not a very fast learner, but they were patient and it was fun.

The lack of a campfire makes evenings a little boring, so I hopped online to check hours and told the kids to get in the car. Spontaneous trip to Slugs 'N Stones for some ice cream and cool mom points before they shut down for the night!

Settled in for the night, I got a message from Natie, offering us a place to stay if we needed to evacuate, as the windstorm had also made fires start raging near Woodburn. She knew Silas and Tim were home, but forgot the rest of us were still on the road. The good news is the wildfires in our area stayed far enough away that our home and family were never in danger. It was phenomenally smoky at home, but otherwise safe. Day five ended with starting to realize the whole state was on fire and that our final day might be too smoky to do anything fun.  

I woke up on day six with a message from a friend letting me know that the road we planned on taking home was closed because of a fire. Checked to confirm because we'd been waiting for a whole year to get burgers from Bobbalou's in Cave Junction on our way home, but this road closure would make that impossible.

Confirmed. Bummer.

I also woke up to ash. So much ash!

Thirty minutes later I got a group message from Dad letting us know he and Debra's home had burned to the ground, including a picture a friend of his had taken that morning. 

I was stunned. Speechless. And then I cried. For quite a while. 

My younger step-sister, Ashley, mentioned in the conversation that she suspected her home might also be gone.

Messaged Tim, Silas, and a couple close friends to let them know. Told the kids and said we needed to start packing up because we had no idea what roads were going to be like with fires scattered around the state. They were champs, quickly tearing down tents and loading the van while I was off-kilter. 

I'd been mostly unplugged for five days, but day six found my phone about to die because the battery drained as I figured out fire stuff. I turned on the van so it would charge while we tore down our campsite, then Devon rescued me with a battery charging gadget (I'm as techy as I sound) of his own so I could turn the van off. Sometimes it's the little things.

See ya later, smoky beach.

Still pretty, even when the air is chewy.

It was so dark from smoke at 9:30 in the morning that the streetlights were still on. Not as bad as Brookings was during the Chetco Bar Fire a few years earlier, but definitely the worst I've ever experienced there.

This is the face of someone who was grateful for five days of loved ones and outdoor activities, but hadn't showered in four days because C19 killed state park showers (a fact we knew ahead of time), didn't sleep well the previous night because her brain wouldn't shut off once she knew about the fires, and cried all morning because a wildfire uprooted her extended family's life. Emotional roller coaster. Mostly silent passenger for nearly six hours, which says a lot when you know how much I usually talk.

Our trip home was uneventful, which I'm thankful for. We got confirmation shortly after arriving that Ashley's home had burned down, which was obviously hard to hear. So much loss in our family, yet only a small piece of the unfathomable loss the area experienced as small towns were decimated and thousands of homes lost just from that one fire. A crazy 24 hours, to say the least.

The trip didn't end how we expected, and the fire of this year was opposite from the rain we dealt with last year, but I'm still glad for all the loved ones we got to see and the time spent enjoying nature.