First, the history. As you know, we moved into this apartment 13 months ago for the sole purpose of paying off Tim's school debt more quickly. We signed the lease under a deal that gave us two months free if we signed for one year and we chose to have those free months prorated through the year. About 2 1/2 months ago we made an offer on a house.
Our lease was up at the end of April, but we were still waiting to see if our house offer was accepted. The complex office said we could pay month to month at market value for our apartment while we waited on the house, which is $140/month more than we've been paying with the special we signed our lease with, and they wouldn't charge us the extra $100/month that they normally charge people who haven't signed a lease. It was a compromise and we were happy to oblige until we found out if our offer had been accepted.
Second, the present. We retracted our offer on the house a couple weeks ago when we found out Tim was getting laid off mid-June. Now we have to decide what to do about housing. We're talking about it and will make a decision by the end of tomorrow, but I'd love to get feedback from people who aren't smack dab in the middle of the mess. Here are the facts.
* Tim is out of a job in less than three weeks. While it's possible he could have another teaching job lined up soon, it's very likely a job wouldn't come through til the end of summer or first week of school. It's also possible that he'll be unemployed in the fall.
* We would like to stay in the Portland area, but realize a move may be the only way to feed our family. If we absolutely had to move, then the Rogue Valley would be our first choice, as we already have a life there.
* The 6th W is arriving the first half of December.
* The kids and I are going nuts in this apartment. Majorly. The lack of a yard, the mold (which is gone now, but I anticipate will return by December), hearing our neighbors cough, pee, walk, and move in their furniture all day and night (which is not their fault, it's just apartment life), not having a yard, constantly trying to not make so much noise that we're obnoxious neighbors, and not having a yard are just hard. Did I mention that not having a yard isn't working out so well for us? I did? Ok.
* The complex office said we can sign a lease for less than six months, but they can't offer us any deals that way. The positive part of this option is that we could make the lease last until the end of summer, at which point we'll know what's going on with Tim's job situation, then make an informed decison based on if and where he's working. The negative is that our rent will only be $25 less than it was when we had a house with a huge yard. In other words, living in this apartment will be serving no purpose at all, as the only reason we moved here was to save a chunk of change.
* Signing a lease for six months means they can offer us a deal, though we're not sure exactly what that deal would be. The positive for this option is that we would be saving money each month. That money would get put away for living expenses in case Tim does not have teaching job in the fall. If he does have a job, then that money will go toward his school debt, as it has for the last year. The negative is that a six month lease would end right when I'm due and we'd have to pay to break our lease in the fall if Tim ended up working out of the area.
So, that's that. Given those details, what would you do?
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
FABULOUS FRIDAY
Tim - Today is a furlough day (a mandatory, unpaid day off), so he took the kids to playgroup at the church this morning and I stayed home.
Randi - She suggested we get together sometime and today worked out perfectly because Tim was home. She came over as Tim left with the kids and we got to spend a chunk of time chatting. We've shown up at some of the same birthday parties and clothing exchanges, but never spent time together outside of that stuff or church, so it was nice to just sit and visit.
Jen - She unexpectedly stopped by with a bag of delicious apple cider doughnuts from Fir Point Farms and a giant caramel candy (which I forgot about til this very moment and will have to eat as soon as I finish this post) for me. There were six doughnuts, just enough for all five Ws and Randi. Perfect!
Catherine - I had my first prenatal appointment today, which meant seeing a midwife I haven't seen since Naomi was six weeks old. I previously mentioned that we were using Andaluz instead of A Gentle Beginning this pregnancy, but things changed shortly after that post and we're back with AGB. I don't get emotionally attached to my midwives, which is a good thing since I've had to change with each pregnancy, but I am looking forward to working with Catherine for another pregnancy.
W #6 - We heard the mystery baby's heartbeat for the first time today. For those of you who are convinced we're having twins, please note the singular form of "heartbeat". My extreme exhaustion this time around is not because I'm having twins and probably stems simply from the fact I'm almost 35 years old.
Pam - She called and said she was bringing pizza to us for dinner tonight. Magic meals are a blessing any time, but she couldn't have picked a better day to provide a meal for us. While I am getting enough energy now to do a few non-essentials each week, I'm pretty wiped out by the end of the day if I've gone anywhere or had anyone over. So, hanging with Randi and having an appointment, which were both great things, just about has me ready for jammies at 3:30 in the afternoon. To top things off, Tim bailed after my appointment and will be fishing out of town until Monday night. So, I'm very thankful that I don't have to think about dinner tonight.
Silas, Devon, Naomi - We are going to spend our evening watching old Disney movies from the library and eating popcorn. Totally relaxing!
Randi - She suggested we get together sometime and today worked out perfectly because Tim was home. She came over as Tim left with the kids and we got to spend a chunk of time chatting. We've shown up at some of the same birthday parties and clothing exchanges, but never spent time together outside of that stuff or church, so it was nice to just sit and visit.
Jen - She unexpectedly stopped by with a bag of delicious apple cider doughnuts from Fir Point Farms and a giant caramel candy (which I forgot about til this very moment and will have to eat as soon as I finish this post) for me. There were six doughnuts, just enough for all five Ws and Randi. Perfect!
Catherine - I had my first prenatal appointment today, which meant seeing a midwife I haven't seen since Naomi was six weeks old. I previously mentioned that we were using Andaluz instead of A Gentle Beginning this pregnancy, but things changed shortly after that post and we're back with AGB. I don't get emotionally attached to my midwives, which is a good thing since I've had to change with each pregnancy, but I am looking forward to working with Catherine for another pregnancy.
W #6 - We heard the mystery baby's heartbeat for the first time today. For those of you who are convinced we're having twins, please note the singular form of "heartbeat". My extreme exhaustion this time around is not because I'm having twins and probably stems simply from the fact I'm almost 35 years old.
Pam - She called and said she was bringing pizza to us for dinner tonight. Magic meals are a blessing any time, but she couldn't have picked a better day to provide a meal for us. While I am getting enough energy now to do a few non-essentials each week, I'm pretty wiped out by the end of the day if I've gone anywhere or had anyone over. So, hanging with Randi and having an appointment, which were both great things, just about has me ready for jammies at 3:30 in the afternoon. To top things off, Tim bailed after my appointment and will be fishing out of town until Monday night. So, I'm very thankful that I don't have to think about dinner tonight.
Silas, Devon, Naomi - We are going to spend our evening watching old Disney movies from the library and eating popcorn. Totally relaxing!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
5/26/11 THANKFUL THURSDAY
I'm thankful Tim got laid off before we closed on the house we'd put an offer on.
What's one thing that you're thankful for?
What's one thing that you're thankful for?
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
THANKS!
Just a big thank you to the person who anonymously smuggled a card to us via a third party tonight. I love that you quoted Philippians 1:6, which is the verse that stood out to me as I cracked my Bible open this morning for the first time in weeks (other than at church).
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
MOVING FORWARD
Someone asked a routine "How are you?" on Sunday and I lost it. Hysterical sobbing and about five extreme statements later, this woman, who happens to be on staff at our church and does all the counseling of women, looked me in the eye and said "You're coming in to talk to me this week." Yes, ma'am, I'll comply with mandatory counseling. Well, that's not really what I said. My response was more like a crying, snotting nod of the head.
We met today.
It was hard. It's humiliating to admit the things you've done that are just flat out wrong and emotionally draining to share how overwhelmingly discouraged you are about your life.
It was also good. It's helpful to have someone lovingly and firmly call you on the things you need to change and give some practical suggestions for making those changes, validating to hear someone acknowledge you're in a hard season of life, and encouraging to be reminded of God's faithfulness and love.
Now, let me just add that over the last few weeks there have been several women (and my dad) who have helped me. They've given hugs, prayed, shared verses or quotes, sent sweet notes via the internet, just sat with me while I cried, been sympathetic and encouraging, made thoughtful cards, and done practical things to show they care. While this post is about today's meeting, I want all of you who have encouraged me through this valley I'm in to know how grateful I am. Truly grateful.
Anyway, I desperately want out of this pit of hopelessness and today is the first time in quite a while that's seemed possible. I know it's not going to happen overnight, but God is bigger than whatever life throws my way. That doesn't necessarily mean that he'll reverse every lousy situation in my life, but it does mean he has the strength to carry me through them if I let him. That's a big "if", but it's one I'm going to work on because doing this on my own is clearly not working out so well.
So, as I tell my kids when it's time to move on, "Forward, march!"
It's time for me to move on. I want to move on. I need to move on. I'm going to move on.
We met today.
It was hard. It's humiliating to admit the things you've done that are just flat out wrong and emotionally draining to share how overwhelmingly discouraged you are about your life.
It was also good. It's helpful to have someone lovingly and firmly call you on the things you need to change and give some practical suggestions for making those changes, validating to hear someone acknowledge you're in a hard season of life, and encouraging to be reminded of God's faithfulness and love.
Now, let me just add that over the last few weeks there have been several women (and my dad) who have helped me. They've given hugs, prayed, shared verses or quotes, sent sweet notes via the internet, just sat with me while I cried, been sympathetic and encouraging, made thoughtful cards, and done practical things to show they care. While this post is about today's meeting, I want all of you who have encouraged me through this valley I'm in to know how grateful I am. Truly grateful.
Anyway, I desperately want out of this pit of hopelessness and today is the first time in quite a while that's seemed possible. I know it's not going to happen overnight, but God is bigger than whatever life throws my way. That doesn't necessarily mean that he'll reverse every lousy situation in my life, but it does mean he has the strength to carry me through them if I let him. That's a big "if", but it's one I'm going to work on because doing this on my own is clearly not working out so well.
So, as I tell my kids when it's time to move on, "Forward, march!"
It's time for me to move on. I want to move on. I need to move on. I'm going to move on.
Friday, May 20, 2011
WE GOT BAD NEWS
We found out on Wednesday that, due to budget cuts, Tim is being laid off from his job. He has four weeks left in this school year and then he will be unemployed.
The positives? First, unemployed teachers can sub. It's not dependable and there are no benefits, but at least it's some sort of income. Teachers laid off in his district get bumped to the top of the district's sub list, which is nice, and he can sub in other districts. Second, his insurance benefits run for six months after his job ends, which means the baby's birth will be covered. Barely.
The negatives? Needless to say, there are plenty of negatives about this situation. I'm not going to list them.
So, now you know why I wasn't feeling particularly thankful on Wednesday night when I was typing up my Thankful Thursday post. As you know, I've been having a hard time and this is just the icing on the cake of my life. We'll see how it all plays out.
Added later in the day - The first half of our marriage Tim was a student or un/underemployed. While we're not rookies at this game, it's not the kind of thing you want more experience at. Know what I mean? That being said, we've seen God provide in all kinds of ways for us over the years and I know this will work out one way or another. It's stressful, no doubt about that, but it's beyond our control.
A detail that is "duh" to me, but wouldn't be to you guys, (so I forgot to mention it) is that his current contract runs through the summer. So, the paychecks he should have gotten at the end of July and August will come with his check at the end of June. While he only has one month of work left, he still has a few months of income coming. That's a blessing!
The positives? First, unemployed teachers can sub. It's not dependable and there are no benefits, but at least it's some sort of income. Teachers laid off in his district get bumped to the top of the district's sub list, which is nice, and he can sub in other districts. Second, his insurance benefits run for six months after his job ends, which means the baby's birth will be covered. Barely.
The negatives? Needless to say, there are plenty of negatives about this situation. I'm not going to list them.
So, now you know why I wasn't feeling particularly thankful on Wednesday night when I was typing up my Thankful Thursday post. As you know, I've been having a hard time and this is just the icing on the cake of my life. We'll see how it all plays out.
Added later in the day - The first half of our marriage Tim was a student or un/underemployed. While we're not rookies at this game, it's not the kind of thing you want more experience at. Know what I mean? That being said, we've seen God provide in all kinds of ways for us over the years and I know this will work out one way or another. It's stressful, no doubt about that, but it's beyond our control.
A detail that is "duh" to me, but wouldn't be to you guys, (so I forgot to mention it) is that his current contract runs through the summer. So, the paychecks he should have gotten at the end of July and August will come with his check at the end of June. While he only has one month of work left, he still has a few months of income coming. That's a blessing!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
5/19/11 THANKFUL THURSDAY
I'm sitting here on Wednesday night (I often post-date the Thankful Thursday stuff so I don't have to turn the computer on Thursday morning) trying to think of what to post, but the truth is I don't feel thankful at all. The things that I come up with are positive, but I don't truly feel thankful. What I do feel is discouraged, overwhelmed, resentful, depressed ... and have felt that way for weeks on end.
That's just the ugly, unthankful truth. Hopefully I'll feel differently next week.
I'd still love to hear about what you're thankful for, so please share!
That's just the ugly, unthankful truth. Hopefully I'll feel differently next week.
I'd still love to hear about what you're thankful for, so please share!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I DID SOMETHING FUN WITH MY KIDS
As I've mentioned before, I'm not doing too well these days. Part of it is physical (nausea & exhaustion), but a big chunk of it is mental/emotional. Life is just discouraging right now and pregnancy hormones have apparently wiped out my ability to cope. I know it's just a season, but it's not a very pleasant one. Needless to say, moms who stay in bed all weekend because they're avoiding life don't go out of their way to have fun with their kids.
Oh, my poor kids.
Anyway, the sun is shining today, which is almost a miracle, and I decided I needed to let my kids enjoy the weather. I loaded them up and headed to Graham Oaks Nature Park and we spent a couple hours walking around the park. Even though I did it for the kids, it was soooo good for me to go. Getting out of our four walls, being warmed by the sun & surrounded by greenery ... it was wonderful! We used to visit Tualatin Hills Nature Park frequently when we lived in Beaverton, which we loved, but today I was thankful for a nature park that had lots of non-forested space because it meant soaking up the sunshine on a toasty (well, relatively speaking) 60 degree morning.
Anyway, leaving the house for anything other than church or groceries is quite newsworthy these days. As is sunshine. The combination? Miraculous and worthy of a blog post.
Oh, my poor kids.
Anyway, the sun is shining today, which is almost a miracle, and I decided I needed to let my kids enjoy the weather. I loaded them up and headed to Graham Oaks Nature Park and we spent a couple hours walking around the park. Even though I did it for the kids, it was soooo good for me to go. Getting out of our four walls, being warmed by the sun & surrounded by greenery ... it was wonderful! We used to visit Tualatin Hills Nature Park frequently when we lived in Beaverton, which we loved, but today I was thankful for a nature park that had lots of non-forested space because it meant soaking up the sunshine on a toasty (well, relatively speaking) 60 degree morning.
Anyway, leaving the house for anything other than church or groceries is quite newsworthy these days. As is sunshine. The combination? Miraculous and worthy of a blog post.
Three little Ws hiking through the woods.
The standard "silly face" pose.
The little girl who had to snuggle through the end of our walk and cried when her brother helped her find her slippers when we got home, but insisted she was not tired and asked if she could skip her nap.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
THE MYSTERY W GOT A PRESENT
Tim came home from work today with a gift for the mystery W. A woman he works with knit these little booties for our baby, the first gift W #6 has received. So cute and tiny!
Somehow exhaustion, nausea, bloating, and being an emotional wreck just don't make me smile. These booties, however, are the first happy thing that's happened in regards to this pregnancy and they made my day.
Somehow exhaustion, nausea, bloating, and being an emotional wreck just don't make me smile. These booties, however, are the first happy thing that's happened in regards to this pregnancy and they made my day.
Monday, May 16, 2011
MAGIC MEALS
One of the best things about having a baby is that friends cause dinners to magically show up at your door for those first couple weeks. It's definitely a treat to just be able to eat without having to plan, shop, or cook!
However, as much as I love those meals, I've always thought meals should also come during the first trimester when you're tired and nauseated. Well, I've had magic meals appear twice during this first trimester that I'm going through. Over the last month I've had two different ladies announce that they were bringing food for my family and asking me to choose a day for them to deliver it. Such a huge blessing!!!
So, if you're looking for an easy way to make life a little easier for someone, then bring dinner to someone who is pregnant - especially at the front end when they're tired and pukey or at the end when it's uncomfortable to be on their feet for long. Don't like to cook? Then order pizza, get take-out, pick up some food from the grocery store deli or make some peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and toss them in a box with a bunch of fruit. The blessing is in the lack of effort the pregnant one has to make and it truly does not matter what the food is or where it came from. I guarantee you that I'll be eagerly paying forward the magic meals that I've recently received as soon as life gets back to normal around here!!
However, as much as I love those meals, I've always thought meals should also come during the first trimester when you're tired and nauseated. Well, I've had magic meals appear twice during this first trimester that I'm going through. Over the last month I've had two different ladies announce that they were bringing food for my family and asking me to choose a day for them to deliver it. Such a huge blessing!!!
So, if you're looking for an easy way to make life a little easier for someone, then bring dinner to someone who is pregnant - especially at the front end when they're tired and pukey or at the end when it's uncomfortable to be on their feet for long. Don't like to cook? Then order pizza, get take-out, pick up some food from the grocery store deli or make some peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and toss them in a box with a bunch of fruit. The blessing is in the lack of effort the pregnant one has to make and it truly does not matter what the food is or where it came from. I guarantee you that I'll be eagerly paying forward the magic meals that I've recently received as soon as life gets back to normal around here!!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
5/12/11 THANKFUL THURSDAY
I'm thankful for the ladies who are encouraging me through a hard season of life.
What's one thing that you're thankful for?
What's one thing that you're thankful for?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
MOTHER'S DAY - 2011
Tim and the little Ws surprised me with a trip to Mike's Drive-In for lunch. I love their food and we very rarely eat out, so it was a total treat to go. We'd brought a BOGO burger coupon, but it turned out that they were having a "moms eat free" promotion that was even better than a free burger. Since you couldn't have more than one free burger in the order, we just opted to do their Mother's Day deal. However, the guy who took our order was super nice and suggested that we ring up our order in two separate transactions so that we could still use our coupon. One free basket, one free burger, and a carnation from the restaurant to me. Not too shabby!
The rest of my weekend, in regards to Mother's Day, was good. I've spent the bulk of my time in bed, either sleeping or relaxing, and have taken a complete break from parenting and household stuff. Tim took care of meals all weekend, the kids all made Mother's Day cards for me, Silas printed out a picture of the two of us and made a frame for it, and I talked to Granny for a few minutes.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
LOTS OF SLEEP, BUT LITTLE SANITY
Eleven hours. That's how long I slept last night. Eleven hours!! As you know, I've been totally exhausted lately. This stage of pregnancy has zapped every ounce of energy I have, so I was grateful for a chance to get as much sleep as I needed.
Pregnancy has also made my brain pretty much useless. If something is not in writing, then I'll forget and I regularly use the wrong words when talking to people. The kids are constantly laughing at the ridiculous things I say. I can't blame them, because sometimes the stuff that comes out of my mouth is pretty funny.
Pregnancy has also wracked my thoughts and emotions. I was dealing with some stuff before I was pregnant, but I think that hormones have pushed me over the edge. I haven't blogged in a week, partly because of a lack of energy or things to talk about, but largely because I've been an emotional wreck and feeling incredibly overwhelmed and discouraged about various things. My head's just not in a good place these days and I don't feel super chatty. My mantra has become "fake it til you make it", which is why you'll see me smiling when I'm out in public, but, honestly, life's not a lot of fun for me right now.
Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and let you all know I'm alive. I'm rational enough to realize this is just a season and it will pass, but in the meantime I just don't have a lot to give. I love blogging, though, so I'll get back in the swing of things eventually. I promise.
Pregnancy has also made my brain pretty much useless. If something is not in writing, then I'll forget and I regularly use the wrong words when talking to people. The kids are constantly laughing at the ridiculous things I say. I can't blame them, because sometimes the stuff that comes out of my mouth is pretty funny.
Pregnancy has also wracked my thoughts and emotions. I was dealing with some stuff before I was pregnant, but I think that hormones have pushed me over the edge. I haven't blogged in a week, partly because of a lack of energy or things to talk about, but largely because I've been an emotional wreck and feeling incredibly overwhelmed and discouraged about various things. My head's just not in a good place these days and I don't feel super chatty. My mantra has become "fake it til you make it", which is why you'll see me smiling when I'm out in public, but, honestly, life's not a lot of fun for me right now.
Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and let you all know I'm alive. I'm rational enough to realize this is just a season and it will pass, but in the meantime I just don't have a lot to give. I love blogging, though, so I'll get back in the swing of things eventually. I promise.
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