BOOKS I FINISHED - OCTOBER 2023

Anxious People, written by Fredrik Backman and translated from Swedish by Neil Smith

An apartment viewing, a foiled bank robbery, and random group of people with an assortment of personal problems. It's a story that reminds the reader everyone is dealing with a struggle of some sort, we're more similar to everyone else than we think we are, vulnerability is important, and we never fully know how intertwined our lives are with other people's. Backman does a great job of creating characters you love (even the ones you don't like) while sharing the challenging parts of their life in a way that's both endearing and funny. As a sidenote, there's a lesbian couple in the story. I mention that simply as a courtesy for my friends who wouldn't be comfortable with that aspect of the plot, as it's not mentioned in the book description on Amazon, but it's not a topic to be discussed here. I chose this book for the "by a Scandinavian author" category of a reading challenge I'm doing this year. Please note the pages listed for the following quotes are from the large print edition.

 

p. 42, Because that was a parent's job: to provide shoulders. Shoulders for your children to sit on when they're little so they can see the world, then stand on when they get older so they can reach the clouds, and sometimes lean against whenever they stumble and feel unsure.

p. 56, Drugs are a sort of dusk that grant us the illusion that we're the ones who decide when the light goes out, but that power never belongs to us. The darkness takes us whenever it likes.

p. 100, The truth of course is that if people really were as happy as they look on the Internet, the wouldn't spend so much d*** time on the Internet, because no one who's having a really good day spends half of it taking pictures of themselves.

p. 157, "One technique I'd recommend is to as yourself three questions before you flare up. One: Are the actions of the person in question intended to harm you personally? Two: Do you possess all the information about the situation? Three: Do you have anything to gain from a conflict?"

p. 301, When you're a child you long to be an adult and decide everything for yourself, but when you're an adult you realize that's the worst part of it. 

p. 339, Nothing is easier for people who never do anything themselves than to criticize someone who actually makes an effort. 

p. 405, "If you can do something for someone in such a way that they think they managed it all on their own, then you've done a good job."

p. 431, But if there's one thing modern life and the Internet have taught us, it's that you should never expect to win a discussion simply because you're right.

p. 448, ... they had all heard one another's stories, and that made it harder to dislike one another ...

p. 513, Sometimes we don't need distance, just barriers.

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, written by James Clear

This book isn't about specific things that must be done to achieve specific goals, but focuses instead on a few general strategies that are applicable to any kind of habit the reader may want to change. Using simple, strategic approaches to small habits, there will eventually be significant, long-lasting changes in whatever area of life a person chooses to work on. I chose this book for the "published in 2018" category of a reading challenge I'm doing this year.

p. 18, Time magnifies the margin between success and failure. It will multiply whatever you feed it. Good habits make time your ally. Bad habits make time your enemy.

p. 22, All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision.

p. 23, Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results.

p. 24, Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.

p. 54, Whenever you want to change your behavior, you can simply ask yourself:

1. How can I make it obvious? 
2. How can I make it attractive?
3. How can I make it easy?
4. How can I make it satisfying?

p. 71, I will [BEHAVIOR] at [TIME] in [LOCATION].

p. 73, No behavior happens in isolation. Each action becomes a cue that triggers the next behavior.

p. 86, Making a better decision is easy and natural when the cutes for good habits are right in front of you. 

p. 95, People with high self-control tend to spend less time in tempting situations. It's easier to avoid temptation than resist it.

p. 108, Desire is the engine that drives behavior. Every action is taken because of the anticipation that precedes it. Its is the craving that leads to the response. 

p. 117, One of the most effective things you can do to build better habits is to join a culture where your desired behavior is the normal behavior. 

p. 158, Create an environment where doing the right thing is as easy as possible. 

p. 175, The average person spends over two hours per day on social media. What could you do with an extra six hundred hours per year?

p. 189, With our bad habits, the immediate outcome usually feels good, but the ultimate outcome feels bad. With good habits, it is the reverse: the immediate outcome is unenjoyable, but the ultimate outcome feels good.

p. 233, Improvement requires a delicate balance. You need to regularly search for challenges that push you to your edge while continuing to make enough progress to stay motivated. 

p. 246, 

(Annual review questions)

1. What went well this year?
2. What didn't go so well this year?

3. What did I learn?

(Integrity report questions)

1. What are the core values that drive my life and work?

2. How am I living and working with integrity right now?

3. How can I set a higher standard in the future?

p. 249, When you cling too tightly to one identity, you become brittle. Lose that one thing and you lose yourself.

The Golden Goblet, written by Eloise Jarvis McGraw

This is the fictional story of an orphaned Egyptian boy who wants to become a master goldsmith, following in the footsteps of his goldsmith father, but is forced to live with a cruel half-brother who won't allow it. It's a good story of crime and friendship, poverty and wealth, mystery and hard work that I read to Tyler for school.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, written by Rebecca Skloot

The true story of a woman whose cells radically changed the medical world, even though neither she nor her family were ever told they'd been harvested. It's a book that makes you consider science, medical ethics, and patients' rights, but it's also about racism, poverty, and how trauma impacts people in different ways.

Three Weeks with My Brother, written by Nicholas and Micah Sparks

The chapters of this memoir each have two parts. One is about a specific stop in a three week trip around the world the brothers took together, the other is about the experiences they've shared. It's about a lifetime of shared struggles and joys, as well as each coming alongside the other through their personal highs and lows. I chose this book for the "about travel" category of a reading challenge I'm doing this year.

p. 113, "In the end, marriage comes down to actions. I think people talk too much about the things that bother them, instead of actually doing the little things that make a marriage strong."

p. 187, When you chase a dream, you learn about yourself. You learn your capabilities and limitations, and the value of hard work and persistence.

p. 338, No longer interested in society's definition of success, he began purging his life of material things. Life, he decided, was for living, not for having, and he wanted to experience every moment that he could. At the deepest level, he'd come to understand that life could end at any moment, and it was better to be happy than busy. 

Tisha: The Wonderful True Love Story of a Young Teacher in the Alaskan Wilderness, as told to Robert Specht

While this book is a love story as the subtitle states, it's more than that. It's about nineteen year old Anne Hobbs venturing into the Alaskan wilderness to teach in a tiny school, learning much about the land and its people in the process. Covering the nine month period of a single school year, it's a story of strong people, a rugged environment, blatant racism, the humility to be teachable when wrong, and a determination to do what's right in the face of opposition. It reminded me a bit of The Year of Miss Agnes, except it's true and written for older readers. I chose this book for the "originally published in the year you were born" category of a reading challenge I'm doing this year.

BOOKS I FINISHED - APRIL 2023

All the Light We Cannot See, written by Anthony Doerr

A blind girl living in France. An orphaned boy living in Germany. Each with knowledge both valuable and dangerous in the midst of the war they're living through. Eventually, their worlds collide. I chose this book for the "Pulitzer Prize winner" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year.

Hormone Repair Manual: Every Woman's Guide to Healthy Hormones After 40, written by Lara Briden, ND

Describing perimenopause as second puberty, Briden explains what happens to a woman's body during perimenopause and after menopause, as well as how to deal with the various bodily changes they bring about. I chose this book for the "recommended by a friend" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year.

p. 23, Every time we praise a woman for looking young, or at least for not looking old, we reinforce the pervasive and oppressive belief that aging is bad and that, as women, we need to strive to stay young and nubile. 

The Magician's Elephant, written by Kate DiCamillo and narrated by Juliet Stevenson

This is a heartwarming story of orphaned boy who desperately wants to know if his sister is alive, and to find her if she is. A fortune-teller says an elephant will lead him, which seems entirely impossible ... until an elephant appears. A friend recently read this to her kid and recommended I read it to Tyler. I opted for the audio book version, which we enjoyed on a road trip. 

Seven Daughters and Seven Sons, written by Barbara Cohen and Bahija Lovejoy

In a country where women are forbidden from owning businesses and always have their husbands chosen for them, one girl leaves home dressed as a boy to make her way in the world. Her business endeavor is wildly successful over the years, but will eventually cost her the opportunity to marry the man she loves. This is a school book I read to Tyler.

p. 197, When I was awake and in control, I knew better than to weep over what I couldn't do anything about. It was only in the echoing dark that I couldn't help myself. It was then I realized that the pain of my loneliness would not, as I had thought, grow less with time.

The Strength of His Hand, written by Lynn Austin

This novel is based on the biblical character of King Hezekiah and is filled with reminders to trust God, even when it's hard or doesn't seem to make sense. It's actually the third book in a series of five about biblical kings, but you don't need to read the others to follow it. This book was the April part of a year-long gift from a friend, one book to unwrap and read each month. I also used this book for the "book set in the Middle East" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year.

p. 162, "Don't trade a chance at happiness for a title or prestige. It's not a fair exchange."

These is my Words: The Diary of Sarah Agnes Prine, 1881-1901, written by Nancy E. Turner

Inspired by the author's family history, this novel tells a compelling story of twenty years in one woman's life. Despite plenty of danger, tragedy, and heartbreak, this book is filled with the courage, perseverance, and love of individuals, friends, and family members. I chose this book for the "first book in a trilogy" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year.

p. 226, It is a funny thing how much more proud people can be of themselves if they never step back and take a good look in a glass. 

p. 277, (E)ducation doesn't keep a person from being a fool, and the lack of it doesn't keep a person from being intelligent. 

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BOOKS I FINISHED - MARCH 2023

The Black Pearl, written by Scott O'Dell and illustrated by Milton Johnson

Soon after becoming a partner in his father's pearling business, a sixteen year old boy discovers a giant pearl. One man believes it belongs to Manta Diablo, a dangerous monster of the sea, and harm will come to those who keep it. Four men want to pool their resources to buy it. One man wants to give the pearl to the church, believing the generosity will bring blessing on his family. One man wants to steal it for personal gain. The teenager who found the pearl learns that maturity comes not from professional advancement, feats of physical strength, or acts of bravery, but in humbly doing what's right. I chose this book for the "book you can read in a day" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year.

 

A Dog's Way Home, written by W. Bruce Cameron

A stray dog is claimed by a man who loves her, but can't keep her in his home. This predicament sets off a chain of events that leads her to cross hundreds of miles over two years to get back to him, a period of time where she provides comfort to people and animals who need her. This book was the March part of a year-long gift from a friend, one book to unwrap and read each month. I chose this book for the "book with non-human characters" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year.

Ella Minnow Pea: A Progressively Lipogrammatic Epistolary Fable, written by Mark Dunn

This novel is about an island where the use of specific letters is gradually outlawed as those letters fall off a statue, and the letters also drop from the written story along the way. Trying to prevent the total annihilation of language, as well as the quality of life that comes with the freedom to communicate freely, a young woman and some cohorts work against a deadline to find a solution to the problem that will be acceptable to the small group of leaders who have taken control of how people can communicate. Creative and amusing on the surface, but also with a wide vocabulary and some depth that makes you think. I chose this book for the "book with food on the cover" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year.

The House of Hope and Fear: Life in a Big City Hospital, written by Audrey Young, MD

The author started her career as a doctor at Harborview Medical Center in Washington, a facility where the policy was to never turn anyone away. The book is several years old now, published in 2009. I don't know how things have changed since then, but it's an opportunity to better understand how one particular hospital prioritized people over profits, including staff who turned down significant raises elsewhere because they were passionate about the work at Harborview, while simultaneously running the facility as a successful business. It's not only a reflection of the various specific issues that present in the emergency department and the logistics of managing care, but also about the greater issues of poverty, addiction, homelessness, affluence, and the cost, financial and otherwise, of medical care. 

p. 227, The fact is that Harborview is one of a very few places in our society with no comfortable distance between the truly wealthy and the desperately poor, where there are no buffers like separate neighborhoods and separate schools to anesthetize against the sting of disparity. 

Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All, written by Allan Gurganus

Challenged to read a book with over 600 pages, I chose this 718 page novel on the recommendation of a friend. It's filled with heavy topics like trauma during and after war, child soldiers, child brides, the kidnapping of people from one country to make them slaves in another, abuse, the loss of loved ones, and societal expectations based on class and gender. Written in the voice of a woman nearing 100, one who was married to a 50 year old veteran when she was 15 and bore 9 of his kids, a woman whose closest friend was a former slave of her husband's family, it's also personal, humanizing the choices made by people in circumstances that ranged from uncomfortable to horrific. Really long and not necessarily an easy read, but well-written.

ETA: I originally chose this book for the "book with over 600 pages" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year, but I read Just As I Am: The Autobiography of Billy Graham in June and decided to use it instead. Now this book is being used for my "book with a six word title" category.

p. 6, ... why a quiet house, it grew on me. Stopped sounding like what was missing, started being what I had. 

p. 10, Memory seems to work like that - meaning: wrong, for some of the right reasons.

p. 264, Once we depreciate others as being wholly unlike ourselves, we've succumbed to the same flattening they've practiced on us.

p. 265, The Book says we're all dead level in the eyes of God. Our Forefathers claimed everybody's created equal (of course, by the time you get delivered nine months later, seems like social class, skin color, looks, and health have pretty much knocked the pins out from under Conception's fair shake). 

p. 274, Experience is a pop quiz you ain't ever quite prepared for. 

p. 330, My mother once told me that, of all the electric feelings on life's totem pole of bargain-basement emotions, Jealousy and Self-Pity are the tackiest. 

p. 341, You marry, it means you've signed on as a witness to that person's pain - meaning their history, entire.

p. 372, To folks most interested in rightful owners' control, parenthood can be the hardest job of all. 

p. 399, Child? Beware of using up your last forty years in being the curator of your first fifty. That ain't getting ahead!

p. 552, To feel another person's big mitt close over all five of your own fingers - I cannot tell you how calming this was just then, how precious.

p. 573, Is Freedom not needing too much? Or maybe always having more than you can use? Tell me, Lady. 

Shadow Spinner, written by Susan Fletcher

The Sultan is betrayed by his wife and responds by marrying, then killing, a new wife every night. Eventually he hears one of the wives telling a story and his interest is piqued. As long as she can tell stories he's never heard before, he spares her life, and therefore the lives of all young women, one night at a time. When she becomes dependent on another young woman for a particular story the Sultan wants to hear, several lives become entangled in the plot to satisfy his demands. This is a school book that I read to Tyler. I chose this book for the "set in the Middle East" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year.

p. 151, "We all have our demons to deal with, Little Pigeon. It's when we cherish them - cradle them to our breasts and feed them day after day - that's when they curdle our souls."

p. 187, It seemed that in this world we were piling up hurt upon hurt, and hate upon hate, and then hurt upon hurt again. Forgiveness. We couldn't forgive. We could only hate when we were hurt. And then the hurt and the hate would start up again - all in a terrible circle. 

p. 194, Words are how the powerless can have power.
 

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BOOKS I FINISHED - FEBRUARY 2023

 

Gender Roles and the People of God: Rethinking What We Were Taught About Men and Women in the Church, written by Alice Matthews

A reading challenge I'm doing this year has a category of "a book that challenges your viewpoint". I won't talk publicly about my viewpoint on gender roles within the church, the things I feel either confident or unsure about, but my experience has been heavily on the complementarian side.

Every church I can remember attending has either been complementarian, meaning men and women have different roles within the church (and home) based on gender, or appeared that way on the surface (meaning the denomination wasn't, but the specific congregation happened to play out that way).

A book that teaches the egalitarian side, that roles are always based on skills or giftings instead of gender, but does so with biblical support instead of just an "anything men can do, women can do better" or "girl boss" attitude, would help me to have a more balanced understanding of the topic while also helping me cross another book off my challenge list.

This book was well-written and not emotionally charged or with an anti-men tone, which I really appreciated. The first two-thirds looks at the issue from a biblical vantage point and is filled with Bible verses. (Sidenote: If you're a follower of Jesus reading a faith-based book that takes a stance on an issue, I think it's critical that it have lots of Bible verses you can look up and study for yourself.) The last third looks at it from a historical context, moving from the first century to modern times. 

Regardless of whether you agree with the author's perspective, I think the book is worth reading because she's articulate, respectful, values the Bible, and is clear about her guidelines for interpreting scripture. 

The Last Thing He Told Me, written by Laura Dave

As if having her new husband mysteriously disappear wasn't hard enough, a woman soon discovers the man she loves isn't who she believed him to be. How does she follow his final request of her, that she protect his daughter, without actually knowing what she's protecting her step-daughter from? This is a novel of truth and lies, the danger that comes with each option, and what it means to love sacrificially. I chose this book for the "adventure/espionage" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year.

p. 266, This is the thing about good and evil. They aren't so far apart - and they often start from the same valiant place of wanting something to be different. 

The Memory Keeper's Daughter, written by Kim Edwards

An orthopedic surgeon and his nurse have to unexpectedly deliver he and his wife's baby. That one baby turns out to be unexpected twins, and one has Down's syndrome. The already life-changing moment of becoming a parent is made even more impacting when the man makes an impulsive decision that will radically and permanently change the lives of all five people in the delivery room. The consequences of deception have a ripple effect one can never fully anticipate and lies meant to protect can cause more damage than the truth. This book was the February part of a year-long gift from a friend, one book to unwrap and read each month.

p. 78, "You can't spend the rest of your life tiptoeing around to try and avert disaster. It won't work. You'll just end up missing the life you have."

p. 247, (S)he had been so young, so lonely and naive, that she imagined herself as some sort of vessel to be filled up with love. But it wasn't like that. The love was within her all the time, and its only renewal came from giving it away. 

p. 396, "(W)e have a choice. To be bitter and angry, or to try and move on. It's the hardest thing for me, letting go of all that righteous anger. I'm still struggling. But that's what I want to do."

Now I Am Known: How a Street Kid Turned Foster Dad Found Acceptance and True Worth, written by Peter Mutabazi with Mark Tabb

This is the heart-breaking and hope-filled story of a ten year old who ran away from abuse and poverty at home to live on the streets of Kampala, Uganda for five years. It's a story about trauma and survival mode, of looking for the best in people and showing compassion toward those whose lives are messy in ways different than our own. It's about the power of offering and receiving opportunities for growth, of the incredible power of our words and the importance of forgiveness. It's about traveling to help with international humanitarian work, of committing to the personal work of local foster care. It's about that ten year old boy having his life changed by people who chose to see and nurture the good in him when he was unable to see or foster it in himself becoming a man who is able to pay that same kindness, respect, and help forward to others. I chose this book for the "biography" category of a book challenge I'm doing this year.

p. 40, When you live around garbage and you smell like garbage and people treat you like garbage, it's hard not to think of yourself that way. 

p. 66, When life beats people down for too long, they lose hope. They cannot see a way out of their circumstances. They cannot see their own value. When others cannot see their own potential, we need to step in and see it for them. 

p. 80, Hurting people do not deserve judgment. They need understanding. They need patience. They need love. They need grace.

p. 92, I caught a glimpse of a future that I could imagine becoming a reality, which gave me hope, but for hope to take root within a heart , a person must take another step. I had to stop seeing myself through the lens of my past. 

p. 134, Hurting people need to be heard. They need to know they are not alone. These children who had lost everything needed to know they still mattered. The only way I could do that was by listening to one story after another, even when I thought my heart could not bear hearing another child describe in detail what it was like to watch their mother and father die at the hands of people they once thought of as friends. The stories all sounded so much alike, but for these children, each story was as unique as they were. 

p. 137, I know firsthand that if you don't deal with the hate you experienced as a child, it will continue to influence your future well into adulthood. That's what hate does: it keeps us locked, stuck, and prevents us from the growth we are meant for. But forgiveness can set us free. 

p. 191, Is my life really devoted to making a difference in the lives of those who are most vulnerable when what I do requires zero sacrifice on my part? I knew the answer. Now the question was, What was I going to do about it?

p. 196, While we are all shaped by our past, none of us are chained to it.

Teresa of Calcutta, written by D. Jeanene Watson and illustrated by Robert E. Lawson

This well-known woman spent most of her life in India, living among and serving the poor and neglected. She took Jesus seriously when he said that the way we treat those in need is the way we treat him, a belief that was the driving force in her work. This is a school book that I read to Tyler.

The Year I Stopped to Notice, written by Miranda Kelling and illustrated by Luci Power

This random, charming book is filled with vivid imagery in brief descriptions of ordinary moments seen by the author. You can go through it in one sitting of light reading or pick it up occasionally and savor just a few descriptions.

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BOOKS I FINISHED - DECEMBER 2022

The Christmas Bookshop, written by Jenny Colgan

A woman whose life isn't playing out like she wants. A strained relationship between sisters. A bookstore that's about to go out of business. A lonely old man. A supportive community. A predictable story filled with reminders that relationships are worth the effort, arrogance is unattractive, humility is appealing, communication is essential, and your own happiness should never be your primary goal. 

p. 93, "Children's books today are so terribly anodyne, don't you think? Love yourself, love yourself, be kind, blah blah, love yourself. I think we can get a little beyond that, don't you, Leone?"

p. 116, "I mean. Smile at the dawn? What does that even mean? Find your own happiness? Well, what if your happiness is ... I don't know ...  kicking dogs? Do what you love? Unless you're a pedophile. I mean, it's ... I think people get unhappy trying to do what makes them happy. Don't tell my publisher."

p. 219, "It's just people trying to be happy," she said. 

"I understand that," said Oke. "I'm just not sure it's the best way to go about it."

"What do you think happiness is?" she asked him.

"A by-product," he answered immediately, "to being useful."

She looked at him. "What?" she said. "What do you mean?"

He looked back at her, surprised. "Well, he said, "if you do good work and are useful, that makes you happy."

Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again, written by Lysa TerKeurst

I was looking up a different book at the library when I spotted this one. As one who struggles against bitterness, I suspected it would be a good book for me to read. And it was. I appreciate her humility in describing her own experience with unforgiveness and her kindness toward those facing the same problem. She's compassionate and practical, which is a helpful combination. This is a book I should probably just buy a copy of because there were so many quotes I liked, things I'll need to keep pondering and continue to be reminded of. 

p. xvi, The more our pain consumes us, the more it will control us.

p. 10, Those who cooperate most fully with forgiveness really are those who dance most freely in the beauty of redemption. 

p. 32, What we look for is what we will see. What we see determines our perspective. And our perspective becomes our reality.

p. 41, I must separate my healing from others' repentance or lack thereof. My ability to heal cannot be conditional on them wanting my forgiveness but only on my willingness to give it.

p. 44, (She named a specific person and a specific act, but I left those parts blank because I like the structure of her statement for any offense.) "I forgive _____ for _____. And whatever my feelings don't yet allow for, the blood of Jesus will surely cover."

p. 45, I only needed to bring my willingness to forgive, not the fullness of all my restored feelings.

p. 74, Love is a thing of depth. When forced to stay on the surface, it flounders about like a fish out of water. A fish can't live on the surface, because it can't breathe. It breathes oxygen but not from the surface air. Fish pull water through their gills, which dissolve the oxygen from the water and dispense it into their bodies. If they don't get below the surface, they will be starved of what gives them life. Love is a bit like that.

Love needs depth to live. Love needs honesty to grow. Love needs trust to survive. 

 

When starved of depth, it flounders. When deprived of honesty, it shrivels. And when trust is broken, love is paralyzed. 

p. 75, I've heard it said that people fall in love. I wish the expression was more like, "We found love, and then we chose it over and over together." 

p. 92, Whole, healthy people are capable of giving and receiving love. Giving and receiving forgiveness. Giving and receiving hope. Giving and receiving constructive feedback. Giving and receiving life lessons tucked within the harder things we've been through.

p. 111, Forgiveness releases to the Lord your need for them to be punished or corrected, giving it to the only One who can do this with right measures of justice and mercy.

p. 123, Relationships that need boundaries will not get better on their own. 

p. 124, When you empty all your emotional, physical, financial, or relational resources to help another person who doesn't want to be helped, you will become more and more unhealthy in the process. 

p. 127, We can forgive them. But we cannot control them. And we should not enable them.

p. 127, Forgiveness releases our need for retaliation, not our need for boundaries.

p. 132, Boundaries aren't to push others away. They are to hold me together.

p. 135, It's for the sake of your sanity that you draw necessary boundaries.

It's for the sake of stability that you stay consistent with those boundaries. 

But always remember that, as we grow with Christ, our capacity for compassion should have the propensity to expand. Therefore, it's for the sake of maturity that you ask the Lord to help you reassess those boundaries. 

p. 150, If we try and draw conclusions from the well of our deep pain, we will only have the sorrow of today to sip from. If, however, we draw strength from the deep well of God's promises for tomorrow and His faithfulness to us in the past, His living water is the goodness that will seep life into our dry and weary souls. 

p. 150, (quoting Jim Cress) "Hope is the melody of the future. Faith is dancing to that melody right now."

p. 164, God's faithfulness isn't demonstrated by his activity aligning with your prayers. It's your prayers aligning with His faithfulness and His will where you become more and more assured of His activity. Even if, maybe especially if, His activity and His answers don't look like you thought they would. 

p. 168, We try to control what we don't trust.

p. 174, Bitterness doesn't just want to room with you; it wants to completely consume everything about you. 

p. 184, What if bitterness is actually a seed of beautiful potential not yet planted in the rich soil of forgiveness?

p. 200, Now, I'm realizing the antithesis of peace isn't chaos. It's selfishness. Mine and theirs. Self-care is good. Self-centeredness is not. 

p. 200, Peace is the evidence of a life of forgiveness. 

It's not that the people all around you are peaceful or that all your relationships are perfectly peaceful all the time. Rather, it's having a deep-down knowing that you've released yourself from the binding effects of the constricting force of unforgiveness and the constraining feelings of unfairness. 

p. 202, Not forgiving someone isn't teaching the other person a lesson, nor is it protecting you in any way. It's making the choice to stay in pain.

p. 214, Maturity isn't the absence of hard stuff. Maturity is the evidence that a person allowed the hard stuff to work for them rather than against them. 

Most of the time we only think about what hardships take from us. Maturity helps us see how hardships can add what's missing in our development. Maturity helps us become more self-aware. Maturity helps us process with healthier perspectives. Maturity sets us up for healthier relationships. And maturity has a depth of empathy for others and a patience for imperfection that is less likely to get so easily offended. 

Parnassus on Wheels, written by Christopher Morley

A traveling bookseller ready to sell his business, the spinster (how a single, 39 year old woman is described in the book) who impulsively buys his book wagon and sets off on an adventure, the woman's brother who's an author and neglects the farm they share in favor of writing. This quick read is charming more than a century after it was written.

p. 39, "Lord!" he said, "when you sell a man a book you don't sell him just twelve ounces of paper and ink and glue - you sell him a whole new life. Love and friendship and humour and ships at sea by night - there's all heaven and earth in a book, a real book I mean."

p. 136, What absurd victims of contrary desires we are! If a man is settled in one place he yearns to wander; when he wanders he yearns to have a home. And yet how bestial is content - all the great things in life are done by discontented people.

p. 145, I think reading a good book makes one modest. When you see the marvelous insight  into human nature, which a truly great book shows, it is bound to make you feel small - like looking at the Dipper on a clear night, or seeing the winter sunrise when you go out to collect the morning eggs. And anything that makes you feel small is mighty good for you. 

p. 146, I good book out to have something simple about it. And, like Eve, it ought to come from somewhere near the third rib: there out to be a heart beating in it. A story that's all forehead doesn't amount to much. 

The View from Saturday, written by E. L. Konisberg

Four sixth grade students, one teacher, the tangled web of ways their lives are connected, and their unprecedented success in a middle school Academic Bowl. A story about caring for others, learning about yourself, and prioritizing friendship. This is one of the kids' school books that I read for myself.

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BOOKS I FINISHED - NOVEMBER 2022

Balcony People, written by Joyce Landorf

This short book challenges the reader to be the type of person who cheers others on and encourages the good we see in them, rather than one who prefers to point out the real or perceived negatives in others. As one who naturally leans the way of the evaluator at home (yes, that's part of my role as a parent and homemaker, but I can swing too far that direction), I want to become better at being an affirmer.

p. 47, It seems to me that few, too few, of us honor one another. We are too interested in our own welfare, our own successes, our own achievements. 

p. 48, Real affirmers are always searching for ways to improve their hearing. Evaluators are always talking.

p. 64, What would happen to our churches, or to the body of believers, if we decided to zipper our mouths against negative, hurtful, or egotistical pronouncements and give ourselves to the exquisite, rewarding task of affirming?

The Christmas Pearl, written by Dorothea Benton Frank

It's been decades since 96 year old Theodora has experienced a Christmas like the ones of her childhood, filled with kindness, excitement, and festive traditions. This year her extended family, a group defined by their dysfunction and hostility toward each other, is gathered under one roof. It could be a disaster, but some Christmas magic changes everything.

Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life, written by Tish Harrison Warren

This book is an encouragement to find the sacred in the mundane, to worship God in the way we view and go about our daily activities. For me, it's also a way to better understand a faith tradition that's different than my own.  

p. 21, We tend to want a Christian life with the dull bits cut out.

Yet God made us to spend our days in rest, work, and play, taking care of our bodies, our families, our neighborhoods, our homes. What if all these boring parts matter to God? What if days passed in ways that feel small and insignificant to us are weighty with meaning and part of the abundant life that God has for us?

p. 27, My morning smartphone ritual was brief - no more than five or ten minutes. But I was imprinted. My day was imprinted by technology. And like a mountain lion cub attached to her humans, I'd look for all good things to come from glowing screens. 

Technology began to fill every empty moment in the day. < snip > Throughout the day I fed on a near-constant stream of news, entertainment, stimulation, likes, and retweets. Without realizing it, I had slowly built a habit: a steady resistance to and dread of boredom.

p. 30, In church on Sunday we participate in a liturgy - a ritualized way of worship - that we repeat each week and by which we are transformed. < snip > Even those traditions that claim to be freeform or non-liturgical include practices and patterns in worship. Therefore, the question is not whether we have a liturgy. The question is, "What kind of people is our liturgy forming us to be?"

p. 31, Examining my daily liturgy as a liturgy - as something that both revealed and shaped what I love and worship - allowed me to realize that my daily practices were malforming me, making me less alive, less human, less able to give and receive love throughout my day. Changing this ritual allowed me to form a new repetitive and contemplative habit that pointed me toward a different way of being-in-the-world. 

p. 45, Similarly, when we denigrate our bodies - whether through neglect or staring at our faces and counting up our flaws - we are belittling a sacred site, a worship space more wondrous than the most glorious, ancient cathedral. We are standing before the Grand Canyon or the Sistine Chapel and rolling our eyes.

But when we use our bodies for their intended purpose - in gathered worship, raising our hands in singing or kneeling, or, in our average day, sleeping or savoring a meal or jumping or hiking or running or having sex with our spouse or kneeling in prayer or nursing a baby or digging a garden - it is glorious, as glorious as a great cathedral being used just as its architect had dreamt it would be.

p. 54, When the day is lovely and sunny and everything is going according to plan, I can look like a pretty good person. But little things gone wrong and interrupted plans reveal who I really am; my cracks show and I see that I am profoundly in need of grace. 

But here's the thing: pretty good people do not need Jesus. He came for the lost. He came for the broken. In his love for us he came to usher us into his foundness and wholeness.

p. 72, We must guard against those practices - both in the church and in our daily life - that shape us into mere consumers. Spirituality packaged as a path to personal self-fulfillment and happiness fits neatly into Western consumerism. But the Scriptures and the sacraments reorient us to be people who feed on the bread of life together and are sent out as stewards of redemption. We recall and reenact Christ's life poured out for us, and we are transformed int people who pour out our lives for others. 

p. 76, I can get caught up in big ideas of justice and truth and neglect the small opportunities around me to extend kindness, forgiveness, and grace. 

p. 84, Biblically, there is no divide between "radical" and "ordinary" believers. We are all called to be willing to follow Christ in radical ways, to answer the call of the one who told us to deny ourselves and take up our cross. And yet we are also called to stability, to the daily grind of responsibility for those nearest us, to the challenge of a mundane, well-lived Christian life. 

p. 85, Peace takes a whole lot of work. Conflict and resentment seem to be the easier route. Shorter, anyway. Less humiliating. 

p. 108, The practice of liturgical time teaches me, day by day, that time is not mine. It does not revolve around me. Time revolves around God - what he has done, what he is doing, and what he will do. 

p. 117, My best friendships are with people who are willing to get in the muck with me, who see me as I am, and who speak to me of our hope in Christ in the midst of it. These friends' lives become a sermon to me. I don't mean that we give each other pat answers or cheap pep talks - few things are worse than receiving a neat little packaged sermon after we've poured our our fears or embarrassments to someone. Instead, we hold up the experiences of our lives to the Word of truth. 

p. 125, We are drawn to those we find lovely and likable. Yet those Jesus spent his time among - and those most drawn to Jesus - were the odd, the disheveled, and the outcast. Those who were winning at life saw no need for this life-disrupting Savior. The people of God are the losers, misfits, and broken. This is good news - and humiliating. 

God loves and delights in the people in the pews around me and dares me to find beauty in them. 

p. 132, Christians are singing people. From ancient monks chanting the Psalms to Wesleyan hymnody, music has always been a way for the church to hone its theology and practice prayer with artistry and beauty. On every Sunday in every corner of the earth you can find Christians singing. From Gregorian chant to African-American spirituals to acoustic worship bands to Syriac chant to East African kwaya, we hear music echoing from every gathered community of Christians. 

p. 136, There are, of course, important things to do and good and necessary ways to use time. But it takes strength to enjoy the world, and we must exercise a kind of muscle to revel and delight. If we neglect exercising that muscle - if we never savor a lazy afternoon, if we must always be cleaning out the fridge or volunteering at church or clocking in more hours - we'll forget how to notice beauty and we'll miss the unmistakable reality of goodness that pleasure trains us to see.

p. 140, These moments of loveliness - good tea, bare trees, and soft shadows - are church bells. In my dimness, they jolt me to attention, and remind me that Christ is in our midst. His song of truth, sung by his people all over the world, echoes down my ordinary street, spilling even into my living room. 

p. 142, My willingness to sacrifice much-needed rest and my prioritizing amusement or work over the basic needs of my body and the people around me (with whom I'm far more likely to be short-tempered after a night of little sleep) reveal that these good things - entertainment and work - have taken a place of ascendancy in my life. In the nitty-gritty of my daily life, repentance for idolatry may look as pedestrian as shutting off my email an hour earlier or resisting that alluring clickbait to go to bed. 

p. 152, About one third of our lives are spent in sleep. Through these collective years of rest, God is at work in us and in the world, redeeming,  healing, and giving grace. Each night when we yield to sleep, we practice letting go of our reliance on self-effort and abiding in the good grace of our Creator. Thus embracing sleep is not only a confession of our limits; it is also a joyful confession of God's limitless care for us. For Christians, the act of ceasing and relaxing into sleep is an act of reliance on God. 

The Master Puppeteer, written by Katherine Paterson

Tension between fathers and the sons who don't meet their standards, a city that's starving to death, a bandit who robs from the rich to feed the poor, a famous puppet theater with a demanding master, and the significance of friendship. I read this to Tyler for school and he'd always ask me to read one more chapter. 

The Vanderbeekers of 141st Street, written by Karina Yan Glaser

Faced with the shock of their lease not being renewed, the Vanderbeeker kids are desperate to find a way to stay in the only home they've ever known. It's them and the Harlem neighborhood they're deeply involved in against their reclusive, unfriendly landlord. I didn't realize until after reading this book that it's the first in a series, so I plan on reading the others.

Warriors Don't Cry: The Searing Memoir of the Battle to Integrate Little Rock's Central High, written by Melba Patillo Beals

The way our country treats its citizens can be absolutely appalling at times, including when a handful of black students were chosen to integrate an all-white high school in the 1950s. The violence and harassment they and their families were subjected to because of their skin color was completely unacceptable. Yet they chose it day after day after day so other kids wouldn't have to, for future freedom. The author was one of those students.

p. 3, Black folks aren't born expecting segregation, prepared from day one to follow its confining rules. Nobody presents you with a handbook when you're teething and says, "Here's how you must behave as a second-class citizen." Instead, the humiliating expectations and traditions of segregation creep over you, slowly stealing a teaspoonful of your self-esteem each day. 

p. 95, I felt proud and sad at the same time. Proud that I lived in a country that would go this far to bring justice to a Little Rock girl like me, but sad that they had to go to such lengths. 

p. 224, I pause to look up at this massive school - two blocks square and seven stories high, a place that was meant to nourish us and prepare us for adulthood. But because we dared to challenge the Southern tradition of segregation, this school became, instead, a furnace that consumed our youth and forged us into reluctant warriors.

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OUR 2022 HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE

Devon quietly finished high school two months ago, but we hadn't done anything to celebrate yet. He didn't care about having a party and a family dinner was challenging to coordinate with four different work schedules, one of which is for a person living out of town most of the time. So it just didn't happen. 

Last night we had a bit of a texting frenzy to figure something out and we were able to all meet up for dinner at Olive Garden this evening. Success! Plenty of food, conversation, and laughter as our family marked this milestone in Devon's life.

This boy of ours is smart as a whip and hates formal schooling, so he's weighing options for long-term career goals that don't require a college degree and working in the meantime. I'm excited to see what's in store for him!

BOOKS I FINISHED - FEBRUARY 2022

About Your Father and Other Celebrities I Have Known: Ruminations and Revelations from a Desperate Mother to Her Dirty Son, written by Peggy Rowe

A lighthearted read filled with short stories about a marriage of two people with opposite upbringings and personalities, their life raising three sons, and how they handle fame.

Bamboo People, written by Mitali Perkins

Two boys, one who has no interest in fighting and another who's eager for violent revenge, find themselves as soldiers having to choose whether or not to do what they find uncomfortable or unfair. It's a novel about personal growth, doing the right thing when it's hard, the love of family and friends, and seeing the humanity of those we disagree with or have been hurt by.

Bud, Not Buddy (audio), written by Christopher Paul Curtis and narrated by James Avery

Ten years old, without a mother, escaped from a foster home, and determined to find his father, Bud has some adventures ahead of him. With moments scary, tender, and funny, this novel quickly draws you in. 

Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakable Peace, written by Sarah Mackenzie

A beautifully written reminder to become neither overbearing in our focus on academics or lazy in our appreciation for the freedom we have, but prioritizing restful learning as we focus on relationships with our kids. A valuable read for any homeschooling parent, and probably for all parents to some degree, I found it timely, practical, and encouraging as someone who's both a Type A box-checker and one still struggling to find a rhythm after a long stretch of depression-induced apathy. 

p. 2, Can you hit the pause button on your frustration long enough to realize that people rank infinitely higher than anything else on the list? Have you considered that God may have scooted these people into view for the very purpose of slowing you down? 

p. 3, (quoting C.S. Lewis from Letters of C.S. Lewis) The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's "own," or "real" life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life - the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one's "real life" is a phantom of one's own imagination. 

p. 7, If our children are images of God (and they are), then we aren't meeting their needs or tending to their real nature when we swing like a pendulum to either the vice or anxiety or the vice of negligence. 

p. 7-8, The Greek historian Plutarch once wrote, "The mind is not a vessel that needs filling, but wood that needs igniting."

Modern translations of Plutarch's maxim tell us that education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire, but we must remember that a fire does indeed need to be lit and then stoked, or else it will burn out. 

p. 22, However, how we interact with our children while using the material matters far more than whether or not we get through it. Instead of focusing on what we need to cover in any given year, it may be helpful to think about what we might uncover and master. After all, if our eyes are so fixed on the finish line that we miss the experience entirely, what have we really gained for our labors?

p. 24, Pacing doesn't matter if you are sacrificing mastery and love for truth, goodness, and beauty. Change the way you assess your success. The quality of study matters far more than the mere quantity of learning. 

p. 27, If we don't know where we're going, what our purpose is for our children, our homeschool, and our family culture, it will be impossible to know what should go and what should stay. 

p. 27, Which words, phrases, or sentences do I want my child to use when describing his or her homeschooled childhood?

p. 37, Perhaps most importantly, put relationships above everything else. God made a true, beautiful, and good world to relish. Don't get so distracted by thirty-six weeks of carefully plotted lesson plans that you miss the glory that is already yours for the taking. 

p. 40, Life is made up of inconsistencies, so make sure your schedule provides guide rails for your day rather than serving s a measure of guilt or frustration as you do your best to keep things running smoothly. 

p. 51, What if, instead of trying to make the most of our time, we worked harder at savoring it? What if we were more intentional and lavish with our time and more detached from our checklists?

p. 52, If education is in part an atmosphere, then creating an atmosphere of peace should be of utmost importance.

p. 54, Today, do less. Do it well.

p. 60, If we would like our children to practice deep thinking, contemplate big ideas, and relish truth and beauty as they go about their learning, perhaps we should make that a habit ourselves. 

p. 69, Our children are not projects. If, by the grace of God, we can manage to remember that our children are all made in HIs image - and more importantly, if we can treat them as such despite the mess and the chaos - then we will really be able to teach from rest. 

p. 79, Value academic work because nurturing the intellect is part of what makes us fully human, but don't elevate it beyond its place. There are relationships to cultivate, books to read, oceans to swim in, forts to build, toilets to scrub, bills to pay, paintings to create, dinners to make. 

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