*****
Poverty, crime, abuse, and racism, as well as a focus on education, adventure, and good character, created an interesting life. Starting with the fact his very existence was a crime, racial issues have permeated every aspect of his world. The book also provided lots of other things to ponder, such as how people determine the worst human atrocity (not all evil people keep meticulous records, which means not all horrific slaughtering of people can be quantified), the connotation of a name can very across cultures (those denied an education know only that Hitler was a man of strength, which they admire, but not of the evil he orchestrated, so they'll name their kids or animals after him), expecting people to make something of themselves without anything to start from is unfair, and crime isn't always easy to judge as right or wrong.
p. 73, When I look back I realize she raised me like a white kid - not white culturally, but in the sense of believing that the world was my oyster, that I should speak up for myself, that my ideas and thoughts and decisions mattered.
p. 110, Being chosen is the greatest gift you can give to another human being.
p. 127, I'd walk through the house on the way to my room and say, "Hey, Mom" without glancing up. She'd say, "No, Trevor! You look at me. You acknowledge me. Show me that I exist to you, because the way you treat me is the way you will treat your woman. Women like to be noticed. Come and acknowledge me and let me know that you see me. Don't just see me when you need something."
p. 143, (speaking of regretting things left unsaid, not done, etc.) We spend so much time being afraid of failure, afraid of rejection. But regret is the thing we should fear most. Failure is an answer. Rejection is an answer. Regret is an eternal question you will never have the answer to.
p. 190, People love to say, "Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for a lifetime." What they don't say is, "And it would be nice if you gave him a fishing rod." That's the part of the analogy that's missing.
p. 209, The hood made me realize that crime succeeds because crime does the one thing the government doesn't do: crime cares. Crime is grassroots. Crime looks for the young kids who need support and a lifting hand. Crime offers internship programs and summer jobs and opportunities for advancement. Crime gets involved in the community. Crime doesn't discriminate.
p. 212, It's easy to be judgmental about crime when you live in a world wealthy enough to be removed from it.
p. 217, Hustling is to working what surfing the Internet is to reading. If you add up how much you read in a year on the Internet - tweets, Facebook posts, lists - you've read the equivalent of a **** ton of books, but in fact you've read no books in a year. When I look back, that's what hustling was. It's maximal effort put into minimal gain.
p. 219, The hood has a gravitational pull. It never leaves you behind, but it also never lets you leave. Because by making the choice to leave, you're insulting the place that raised you and made you and never turned you away. And that place fights you back.
p. 221, In society, we do horrible things to one another because we don't see the person it affects. We don't see their face. We don't see them as people. Which was the whole reason the hood was built in the first place, to keep the victims of apartheid out of sight and out of mind. Because if white people ever saw black people as human, they would see that slavery is unconscionable. We live in a world where we don't see the ramifications of what we do to others, because we don't live with them.
p. 267, Growing up in a home of abuse, you struggle with the notion that you can love a person you hate, or hate a person you love. It's a strange feeling. You want to live in a world where someone is good or bad, where you either hate them or love them, but that's not how people are.
*****
Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People, written by Bob Goff
I keep typing, deleting, then typing again because I have so much to say about this book. I'll boil it all down to this. Loving people is really important. So is humility. And the two feed off each other. Now go read the book. Read it to shine a light on areas you personally have room for growth, not to look for weak spots in others.
p. 3, There's a difference between good judgment and living in judgment. The trick is to use lots of the first and to go a little lighter on the second.
p. 4, Am I really so insecure that I surround myself only with people who agree with me?
p. 5, For a long time, I saw Jesus from a distance and thought we'd met. It still happens to me every time I avoid people God made in His own image just because I don't understand them. My fear of them leaves me only with glimpses of Jesus. What I've come to realize is if I really want to "meet Jesus," then I have to get a lot closer to the people he created. All of them, not just some of them.
p. 7, Arguments won't change people. Simply giving away kindness won't either. Only Jesus has the power to change people, and it will be harder for them to see Jesus if their view of him is blocked by our big opinions.
p. 9, Find someone you think is wrong, someone you disagree with, someone who isn't like you at all, and decide to love that person the way you want Jesus to love you.
p. 19, What is simple often isn't easy; what is easy often doesn't last.
p. 32, Here's the problem: when we make ourselves the hall monitor of other people's behavior, we risk having approval become more important than Jesus' love.
p. 34,
(speaking of shame) It's the pickpocket of our confidence.
p. 42, God doesn't see people the way I do, though. The ones I see as problems, God sees as sons and daughters, made in His image. The ones I see as difficult, He sees as delightfully different. The fact is, what skews my view of people who are sometimes hard to be around is that God is working on different things in their lives than He is working on in mine.
p. 42, What was a great day for the guy Jesus met was an equally lousy day for a pig farmer nearby and was even a worse day for the pigs.
p. 45, I've always thought that people who didn't want to be with people here are going to hate heaven. Truly, it will be everybody, always there.
p. 47, Loving people doesn't mean we need to control their conduct. There's a big difference between the two. Loving people means caring without an agenda. As soon as we have an agenda, it's not love anymore. It's acting like you care to get someone to do what you want or what you think God wants them to do. Do less of that, and people will see a lot less of you and more of Jesus.
p. 54, What I've been doing with my faith is this: instead of saying I'm going to
believe in Jesus for my whole life, I've been trying to actually
obey Jesus for thirty seconds at a time.
p. 54, It's easy to agree with what Jesus said. What's hard is actually doing what Jesus did. For me, agreeing is cheap and obeying is costly. Obeying is costly because it's uncomfortable. It makes me grow one decision and one discussion at a time. It makes me put away my pride.
p. 56, If we want to be like Jesus, here's our simple and courageous job. Catch people on the bounce. When they mess up, reach out to them with love and acceptance the way Jesus did. When they hit hard, run to them with your arms wide open to hug them even harder. God wants to be with them when they mess up, and He wants us to participate.
p. 74, The next time you're tempted to boast, just say under your breath, "It's not about me." Say it a dozen times a day. Say it a thousand times a month. Say it when you wake up and when you go to sleep. Say it again and again: "It's not about me. It's not about me." Say it when you bless a meal or do something wonderful or selfless or when you help hurting people. Make it your anthem and your prayer.
p. 82, Whether we want to or not, we end up memorizing what we do repeatedly. It's the way we were wired from the factory. Because this is how we're made, it's a great idea to pick ideas worth repeating.
p. 83, The fact is, some of the people who have shaped my faith the most were a couple of buttons off on theirs. They've made some big mistakes. Run toward these people, not away. There is a quiet confidence in knowing we all hit a couple of wrong notes here and there. The report card on our faith is how we treat one another when we do.
p. 94, The difference between a prudent pause and a persistent paralysis is a distinction worth knowing.
p. 97, We'll see what we spend the most time looking for.
p. 106, Sometimes people pop out in a crowd. It's not always because they're handsome or beautiful or the one up front or on a stage. What makes them stand out is they're not trying to get any attention at all.
p. 110, Yet when what our faith looks like becomes more important than what it is, it's evidence we've forgotten who we really are. God constantly allows things to happen in our lives that helps us understand where we are with Him and who we really are in the context of our circumstances.
p. 136, He won't try to shout over all the noise in our lives to get our attention. He speaks most clearly in the stillness desperation brings.
p. 137, There's a verse in the Bible that says, "Do not despise these small beginnings." I love that. It's a reminder to me that God doesn't just value the big endeavors that work and He isn't afraid we'll fail; instead, He delights in our attempts.
p. 150, Is it fair he says mean things to me? Of course not. But here's what's changing in me: I don't want what's fair anymore. I want to be like Jesus. It's a distinction worth making.
p. 154, We try to make ourselves the hero or the victim of every story. Something goes wrong and we want to be the victim; something goes right and we want to make ourselves the hero. It doesn't seem to matter which it is as long as we make it all about us. But if we make everything about us, it'll never be about Jesus.
p. 155, We don't need to be the hero in everyone's story. Jesus already landed that part.
p. 159, How is your life working for the people around you?
p. 172, They realized if following Jesus didn't lead them to the poor and the hungry and the isolated, then they weren't actually following Jesus.
p. 193, But there's a big difference between
liking Jesus and being
like Him, and He said we would never be able to be like Him unless we loved our enemies.
p. 208, Here's what I learned: when you've got a guide you can trust, you don't have to worry about the path you're on. It's the same lesson I've been learning about Jesus. I'm just trying to follow love's lead.
p. 209, I've confused patience as a lack of will and activity as purpose.
*****
Not Good if Detached, written by Corrie ten BoomThe book felt a little choppy to me, but her story has always been inspiring to me and so I read all the way through. It's filled with stories of her interactions and experiences around the world, focusing on the importance of Jesus in people's lives. I used to read
The Hiding Place, her book about her family saving Jews from the Nazis and spending time in concentration camps, every few years as a way to keep my own life's problems in perspective. It's been quite a while since I've read it, so maybe I'll pull it out again soon.
p. 19, The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sins if we confess them. It has never cleansed excuses.
p. 28, When Jesus requires that we love our enemies, He gives us the love he demands from us. We are channels of His love, not reservoirs.
p. 75, Self-pity creates darkness, and can even cause sickness. It is a very respectable sin, logical and convincing, and places self on the throne.
p. 83, Do not be a victim of activity. When Satan cannot make you bad, he makes you busy.
p. 112, So we made a camp rule that before saying something negative we had to mention ten virtues of the person concerned. Sometimes it was impossible to find ten virtues, and so the negative thing could not be told. In the event of being able to find ten virtues, we would be so impressed at having done so that it seemed a pity to mention the negative at all!
*****
Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done, written by Laura Vanderkam
Good time management has always come naturally to me, but it's an area I've struggled in a lot over the last few years. I think it's something that's always a bit of a work in progress because life's always changing, but right now, at least until things are generally good again, I'm trying to focus more attention on improving how I spend my time. This book encouraged me to prioritize what matters most to me in this season of life, intentionally do things that fill my tank, continue making time for people, and be realistic about my own capabilities and limitations.
p. 4, Being off the clock implies time freedom, yet time freedom stems from time discipline. You must know where the time goes in order to transcend the ceaseless ticking.
p. 36, It is the human condition to spend precious hours as if they were plentiful on things that are neither enjoyable nor meaningful to us or the people we care about.
p. 52, Yet at some point, she made a decision. She could keep grieving about what could not be, or she could assess her garden as it was and make what she could of it.
p. 73, If my anticipating self wanted to do something, my remembering self will be glad to have done it. Indeed, my experiencing self may even enjoy parts of it. I am tired now, but I will always be tired, and we draw energy from meaningful things.
p. 86, If the bias is that you are supposed to look busy because a crowded schedule is evidence to the world of your importance, then there's always the temptation to fill time.
p. 90, People who are good stewards of time are careful not to fill precious hours with what doesn't feel like the best use of those precious hours. They know that what looks like nothing can be a better choice than something.
p. 96, What currently fills your time? With every activity ask this question:
What is my purpose here?
p. 140, Having been proactive in the morning, he's "free to be reactive" in the afternoon.
p. 153, Time is elastic. It stretches to accommodate what we choose to put into it.
p. 166, The discipline of joy requires holding in the mind simultaneously that this too shall pass and that this too is good. This alchemy of mind isn't easy, but the good life is not always the easy life. Happiness requires effort. It is not just bestowed; it is the earned interest on what you choose to pay in.
p. 177, Good enough is almost always good enough.
p. 179, If you find yourself feeling miserable as you compare your choices with other people's, then don't put yourself in a place where you see other people's choices. There are many reasons to get off social media. Being happy with "good enough" is as good of one as any.
p. 186, Done is better than perfect, because there is no perfect without being done.
p. 191, People are a good use of time.
p. 217, Some winnowing is natural as you discover which people you were close to because they truly deepen your spirit and which people you were close to because it was convenient. < snip > The goal is figuring out which relationships are worth investing in even if they are not convenient. And then the goal is to go all in on making these relationships work.
p. 219, The hard truth about caring for other people is that any relationship can end. Viewed from a certain perspective they all will end, at least in this world. But alongside that depressing thought, there is this positive one: all that we love becomes a part of us. Whatever happiness we had is still there in memory, and memories can be polished like jewels instead of locked up in drawers. The happiness of the memory does not hinge on the present.
*****
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