Roses are red
My toilet is white
When I need to hurl
It's an unwelcome site
I'd have to kneel down
With my face where butts go
When out of my mouth
My last meal starts to flow
If food's coming up
And I must hold back my hair
Then at food in the toilet
I don't want to stare
I could close my eyes
To block the view
But then I couldn't watch out
For the backsplash of spew
So when I am preggo
And feel the puke coming
Into the kitchen
You'll see me go running
I don't have to kneel
I just stand at the sink
I turn on the water
But don't take a drink
Instead I just hurl
And it goes right down the drain
No staring at vomit
To make me insane
The flow of the faucet
Also muffles the noise
So the sound of my wretching
Won't bug the girl or the boys
When I'm throwing up
My head gets really hot
So I splash running water
To cool down that spot
When it's all said and done
When the chunks are all blown
I flip on the disposal
And hear the thing groan
There's no mess to look at
And my puke is all gone
That's why I like the sink
Instead of the john
And, yes, in case you were wondering, this poem was inspired by preggo puking this morning. I only puked once per pregnancy with the other little Ws, so I'm hoping today's excitement was the first and last time it happens.