A TALE OF TWO BETHANY WEATHERSBYS

A while back, probably two or three years ago, although I don't remember exactly, I received a Facebook message and friend request from someone asking if I was Lucy's mom. I told them I wasn't and moved on with my day. Another day someone else asked me the same question. Then later, another person.

Time to do some sleuthing!

If you search "Bethany Weathersby" online, what you'll usually find, other than all the public record pages, is a great cornbread recipe and the story of Lucy. The recipe is mine, one Granny shared with me and I shared with the world. Lucy belonged to another Bethany Weathersby, my name twin. The cornbread recipe is delicious and makes people happy. Lucy's story is one of loss and grief that might make you cry. But, that's not all her story is.

Have you ever heard of anti-kell antibodies? I hadn't either until I discovered who the other Bethany Weathersby is. She gives a thorough explanation here, but the nutshell is that if an unborn child's blood is kell positive and the mom has developed anti-kell antibodies, then her body will try to kill her child's in an attempt to protect itself.

So, back to Lucy's story. The tragedy is that Lucy was stillborn. Bethany had unknowingly developed anti-kell antibodies at the birth of her second child and Lucy was kell positive. Between the fact that Bethany wasn't aware of the problem going into her third pregnancy and the lack of appropriate medical care, Lucy's life ended before she was born. But, like I said earlier, that's not all there is to Lucy's story. Or Bethany's.

Bethany started a blog, Losing Lucy and Finding Hope, chronicling her journey through the aftermath of Lucy's death and looking for the good she trusted God would bring out of such a heart-breaking loss. What's happened is that parents facing pregnancies with anti-kell complications are hopping online to learn more about their new reality, a medical situation that very few professionals have any experience treating, and discovering both information and hope in Bethany's story of Lucy. And their babies are living. Why? Because one precious little baby died and her mom chose to research, find experts, and share those resources, along with her own experience, to empower others to help save the lives of their unborn babies.

So, back to those Facebook messages and friend requests I was still getting on a regular basis. I kept responding by saying I wasn't the person they were looking for, but one day I did a little sleuthing and quickly found the Bethany they wanted. Then, a little over a year ago, I gave someone a link to the right Bethany's Facebook page. I immediately felt awkward about doing that without her permission. It's not a huge problem, given that I found her page myself in about 30 seconds and her story is public, but it still felt a little odd to pass along a stranger's info to another stranger.

I wrote to Bethany, explaining who I was, who I'd been hearing from, and asking how she wanted me to handle future messages from people. We exchanged a few messages and then moved on. But I started reading her blog. And I kept hearing from people who were looking for her. And about a month ago I sent her a Facebook friend request. I could count on one hand the number of those requests I've sent out, so that's a bigger deal than it seems.

This woman, my name twin, a person I barely know and who knows even less of me than I do of her, has taught me about a subject I previously knew nothing about, been one of those people we need in our lives who shift our perspective from time to time, and given me opportunities to pray for and encourage the parents who cross my path in their search for her. I'm thankful that our worlds collided.

UPDATE - Since this post, Bethany formed Allo Hope Foundation. It's a fantastic resource for women in her situation who find themselves dealing with Alloimmnuizaion and Hemolytic Disease of the Fetus and Newborn.