TAKING THE BLOGGING PLUNGE

Well, I'm busting out of my "plan, consider, analyze, schedule" straightjacket and spontaneously deciding to blog. Pretty shocking, isn't it?

As many of you know, I have an awesome group of e-maginary friends on the Sonlight forums. We talk about everything - marriage, parenting, hairstyles, recipes, movies & books, dessert, favorite actors, health issues, eggplant, and anything else you can think of. It's good times! The problem is that I'm totally addicted to chatting with all of them. I mean, completely and totally addicted.

Since February is always a really hard month for me (I'm a single mom because Tim's in his third month of officiating and the boys have been cooped up inside for months because of rain), I spend even more time on the forums than usual. So I decided to have a forum fast during March. I just need to take all the time I spend hanging out there and invest it in my kids and marriage for a while. I miss my Sonlight crew like crazy, but the break has been so good for me! My attitude toward my kids has been better, I've worked harder at my relationship with Tim, and I've been more productive around the house.

Now, sometime before April rolls around I'm going to have to figure out a way to be on the forums again without sacrificing everything I'm working on during my fast. A permanent break from the forums would be just as detrimental to my family as being there too much is.

Anyway, as I've tried to focus more time and energy on my family, to simply keep my priorities in order, over the first part of this month, I keep thinking of something I wrote on January 7, 2008. Many of you have read it already, but I'm going to use it to close out my blogging debut.



Today is the 16th anniversary of my mom's death. I can't believe it's been that long. I've now lived more of my lived more of my life without than with her. My mom was one month shy of her 39th birthday. I was 15, my sister was 13, my brother was 10. My parents had been married 16 years. These days are no longer hard for me, but they are thought provoking. So, I'm just going to ramble a minute before I go start school, housework, etc.

1) Don't wait til someone is dead or dying to let them know you appreciate them. I recently found the letters my mom received in her last couple months, the time we knew she wasn't going to make it. They were filled with "why have I waited til now" comments. So, take time to verbalize or write to someone how and why you value them. Praise the mom in line at Target who has well-behaved children. Make sure your friend knows how thankful you are for their compassion toward you. Tell the checker and their boss that you appreciate that they are always cheerful and remember your name. Let your parents know what you think they did well in raising you.

2) "Should haves don't count". My mom said this all the time and it's one of the best things she taught me. Dwelling on what we should have done, yet didn't do, is a waste of time and energy. You are where you are and you did what you did, so make the best of it.

3) Don't take the time you have with your family for granted. Obviously we all have days we feel like throwing in the towel, but overall we need to value the time we have with our spouses and kids. There are no guarantees that you'll be married 50 years, have grandkids or even see your kids finish high school.

4) Make memories. Do fun things. Be spontaneous (or, if you're like me, schedule some spontaneity) with your kids. Start and keep traditions.

I guess those are the main things I think about this time of year. It's so easy to get caught up in the craziness of life, struggles of parenting, and other trivial issues, but I really try to keep my priorities in order. I blow it every day, but it's something I strive for.

I'm thankful that I had a mom who took marriage and parenting seriously, who obviously loved the Lord and her family, who taught us us to work hard and give eagerly, who did everything 110%. She certainly had weaknesses too, but I'm very thankful for her strengths.

So, go give your kiddos a hug ... or a phone call if they don't live at home ... or thank the Lord for the time he gave you with the ones who have died. And if your parents are still living, then let them know one thing you appreciate about them.