SOMETIMES

Family relationships can be fun and rewarding, but sometimes sharing a life and roof with people is discouraging and hard. Social media can be a great way to stay connected with people you like, but sometimes it shows you just how condescending and snarky those people can be toward those they disagree with. Having life slow down can be beneficial in many ways, but sometimes nine straight months of trying to balance the physical, mental, and economic health of yourself, your family, and your community under unusual circumstances, knowing one half or the other of the people you know will criticize you no matter what you do, is overwhelming. Holidays can be filled with special moments and fun traditions, but sometimes making sure they don't feel like just another ordinary day for your loved ones can feel like a burden. 

Today it all just felt too ... everything. Too many unpleasant people, too little kindness. Too many responsibilities, too little rest. Too much judging, too little empathy. Too many hard decisions, too little confidence. Too many tears, too little joy. Too many conflicts, too little peace. Too much of the hard stuff, too little of the good stuff. 

So, as one is prone to do when one feels overwhelmed by everything, I cried. In the car, to the store. And I prayed, just asking God to show me a little glimpse of his love through some part of my day. Something to boost my spirits. Now, there's no magic formula here. Sometimes those prayers are met with silence, other times by my own blindness to the answer. Today, though, my request was granted. 

I pulled into the parking lot, wiped the last tear off my cheek, took a deep breath, and went inside to grab a few things. I wasn't in the store thirty seconds when I saw a couple we've been acquainted with since the summer of 2012. They're in their mid-70s, an older couple we see multiple times each summer at the library's weekly outdoor concerts. Due to the pandemic, the 2020 concert series was canceled, so I haven't seen them since August 2019. In all the years we've lived here, I've never seen them around town. Never. But there they were, right in front of me.

I said hi, but they didn't recognize me with my hair chopped off, a beanie on my head, and a mask over my face. I backed up, pulled my mask down briefly, and said hi again. Then they knew who I was. We spent about ten minutes chatting, looking at pictures of the Ws, hearing about their great-grandkids, and just catching up on life a bit before they gave me air hugs and went on their way. It was wonderful! 

I checked the mail when I got home and there was a package for me. I was expecting something because the sender had confirmed my address last week, then contacted me yesterday to see if I'd received anything from them. The estimated delivery date was Saturday, so I figured whatever it was just got delayed in all the holiday mail. Sure enough, it arrived today. Check out what part of the package was. 

A blue and green W, handmade by the sender! The picture doesn't do it justice, but it has multiple layers, all cut slightly different than the rest so different colors peek through the holes. Isn't that cool? I told my friend that God must have known I'd need that happy mail more today than I did on Saturday.

The kids and I gathered a few minutes later to do our Advent reading for the day. My portion was Psalm 23, the famous Bible passage about the peace, refreshment, guidance, comfort, and love of God. How's that for perfect timing?

The rest of my day was ordinary, but that hour or so was a gift. 

You may feel like you can't get anything right, but sometimes God shows you that he sees, knows, and loves you anyway. You may believe adulthood is overrated, but sometimes God gently reminds you that hard things generally aren't as bad as they feel. You may be discouraged by the attitudes of many people, but sometimes God puts kind people right in your path. 

I'm sure glad he does those things sometimes.