SACRED MARRIAGE #2

My last Sacred Marriage post highlighted some quotes I liked from chapters one through five.  Today I'll share some from chapters six through nine.  Ready?

p, 89 (quoting Gary and Betsy Ricucci) One of the best wedding gifts God gave you was a full-length mirror called your spouse.  Had there been a card attached, it would have said, "Here's to helping you discover what you're really like!"

p. 92, The important things is to view the challenges of our particular life situation as a platform for growth.

p. 96, We must embrace the reality of having our flaws exposed to our partner, and thereby having them exposed to us as well.  Sin never seems quite as shocking when it is known only to us; when we see how it looks or sounds to another, it is magnified ten times over.  The celibate can "hide" frustration by removing herself from the situation, but the married man or woman has no true refuge.  It is hard to hide when you share the same bed.

p. 97, Use the revelation of your sin as a means to grow in the foundational Christian virtue of humility, leading you to confession and renouncement.  Then go to the next step and adopt the positive virtue that corresponds to the sin  you are renouncing.

p. 106, So often it isn't that our marriages are either good or bad - they just are.  We get tired of the routine and the sameness, and our souls occasionally grow numb toward each other.

p. 108, The righteousness God seeks is a persistent righteousness, a commitment to continue making the right decision even when, perhaps hourly, you feel pulled in the opposite direction.  Holiness is far more than an inclination toward occasional acts of kindness and charity.  It is a commitment to persistent surrender before God.

p. 115, Before a divorce is final, I'm usually going to encourage someone to hang in there, to push on through the pain, and to try to grow in it and through it.  Happiness may well be beyond them, but spiritual maturity isn't - and I value character far above any emotional disposition.

p. 129, Struggle makes us stronger; it builds us up and deepens our faith.  But this result is achieved only when we face the struggle head-on, not when we run from it.

p. 131, We have it so easy (speaking of Western Christianity) that we can begin to be lulled to sleep, thinking that life should be easy or that it will always be easy.  Once it gets a little difficult, we tend to be consumed with trying to make our lives comfortable again.  But by doing so we miss a great spiritual opportunity.

p. 132, It is unrealistic to assume that the initial pledge of marital fidelity will be an "easy" one to keep. / The reason we promise to love each other "till death do us part" is precisely because our society knows that such a promise will be sorely tried - otherwise, the promise wouldn't be necessary!  We don't make public promises that we will regularly nourish our bodies with food or buy ourselves adequate clothing.

p.. 133, Christians who dodge all serious struggle and consciously seek to put themselves in whatever situations and relationships are easiest are doing the same things - they are coasting, and eventually that coasting will define them and - even worse - shape them.

p. 141, (quoting Charles Lindbergh)  Never say anything you wouldn't want shouted from the housetops, and never write anything you would mind seeing on the front page of a newspaper.

p. 147, Marriage can never remove the trials - in fact it almost always creates new ones.  But even difficult marriages to difficult men can give women the strength to become the people God created them to be.  (So it is for men married to difficult women as well.)

p. 155, Falls are inevitable.  We can't control that, but we can control the direction in which we fall - toward or away from our spouse.

p. 155, Intimate relationships, as opposed to intimate experiences, are the result of planning.  They are built. 

p. 164 (speaking of compromise) It's proof that we're willing to give ground for no other reason than that we value the ongoing relationship more than we do asserting our rights, preferences, or wishes.

p. 166, When you entered this relationship of marriage, you committed to keep moving toward your spouse.  Any step back, any pause, any retreat, is an act of fraud.  Learn to move toward the person God has given to you for the purpose of teaching you how to love.

Here are the other Sacred Marriage posts. One.  Three.