You often hear people say that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason - that we'd listen twice as much as we talk. I think that's great in theory, but hard to put into practice. I was reminded of that expression over the weekend when I was reading James. This verse, which I have highlighted because I often struggle with keeping my mouth shut and ears open, stood out to me.
James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
Good stuff. This week I'm really working on the "quick to listen" part when it comes to parenting. Far too often I assume that I know what my kids are going to say/do without really listening to them. I'm making a concerted effort to really hear them out this week. Now, this does not mean they get to negotiate the things I've told them to do, argue, or other such nonsense. It just means that I'm taking less of a "buck up and move on" approach to their frustrations and trying harder to understand where they're coming from.
What about you? Can you think of some situations where you could work on listening more, speaking less, or keeping your temper in check? Most of us could work on all three - not formulating our response to someone before hearing them out, choosing not to take offense at stuff, not asking questions that aren't any of our business, etc.
You don't have to tell me where you're failing, but I challenge you to pick one of the three areas and deliberately work to improve.
2 comments:
You know I'm quick to listen to friends, but not so often my children. My daughter and I a few weeks ago were working on another trait. Not yelling. She can sometimes quickly melt down over little things and start screaming at me and lately it was getting ugly. But then when I took a step back I realized I wasn't speaking much better (yelling that is, not ugly things). Once she had calmed down we talked about it and agreed to try really hard to stop yelling at each other. Like the verse in Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
It seems to be much better here now.
FOR REAL??? I am seriously writing a 10 page paper on 1:19-25 at this very moment. I think though that in general, this past semester since I've been reading this book of the Bible so many times daily (in preparation for this paper) has really helped me to just "be still".
It's been really cool this past semester, I've been spending this time listening to others: what they think, how their day was, their life experiences and their goals. It's really helped me build stronger relationships with everyone around me; because they know that I genuinely care about them and want to hear about their life. Compared to the people you know that love to talk and are just waiting for an opportune time so that they can speak and give their opinion.
Anyway, not really what you were asking. But just thought I would share. It is definitely a challenge to do this!
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