Mom and Linda first met when their boys were in preschool together back in the mid 80s. In the late 80s they became part of a group of women in our small town who were diagnosed with breast cancer around the same time as each other.
Mom died a couple years later, but Linda's grim prognosis didn't come to pass. Three years ago she celebrated the gift of thirty more years of life instead of the five or less she'd been told to expect. Then, just a short time later, her cancer returned and metastasized. The grim prognosis that time was a few months, but she got three more years. I got word of her passing a few hours after she died. I cried.
Reminiscing about the last three times I saw her.
2013 - I ran into her and John at the Portland Saturday Market, the first time I'd seen her in nearly twenty years and the only time I've ever been at the market.
2015 - I made a quick "marking the day" trip to Brookings when I reached Mom's age of death and extended an open invitation for friends to join me at Pizza Deli for dinner. Linda showed up and it was wonderful to visit with her as an adult myself. More importantly, it was really special to see her, someone who was friends with Mom and shared a cancer experience, on a trip that was all about a Mom milestone. I was so glad she was healthy all these years after her diagnosis.
2018 - My family headed to Brookings on a camping trip and extended an open invitation for friends to drop by Azalea Park to visit that evening. Again, Linda showed up and I was excited to introduce her to the other Ws. It was after her second cancer diagnosis and she wasn't feeling her best, which made it even more special that she made a point to come.
Linda and I weren't super close and our communication was sometimes sporadic, but I'm so thankful for regular contact the last several years. She was a tie to Mom. She loved Jesus, her family, and the people in her life. She was always smiling, encouraging, and grateful. She will be missed.
I was able to travel home for her memorial service yesterday. It was a quick trip without much time for anything extra, so I was thankful for a few minutes to just sit and enjoy the beautiful day when I first pulled into town. Such a pretty place!
I want to share a few things Linda's friends and family said that I needed to hear. I'm sharing partly because some of you probably need the little pep talk like I did and partly because having it in writing means I'll be able to remind myself later on.
* Invest in relationships with the people around you, both intentionally and proactively.
* Our words are powerful.
* If you had three years to live, how would you spend them? If you'd do things differently than you are now, what changes can you start making today?
* Ask hard questions. Have conversations of substance.
* Start at the end and work back. Think about how you want to be remembered after you've died, then figure out the steps it takes to get there.
* Love Jesus. Love others. And the second of the two is easier if you start with the first.
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