BOOKS I FINISHED - JULY 2021

Crazy Happy: Nine Surprising Ways to Live the Truly Beautiful Life, written by Daniel Fusco

In a culture that relies on positive circumstances and a focus on self to find happiness in life, Fusco offers another perspective. A beautiful life may not always be pretty or pleasant, but it's attainable when we change how we look at things.

p. 36, Pharisees in the church today are those who at some point gave their lives to Jesus and want to follow the Word but have lost God's heart for people. They've forgotten where they came from - or never really knew it in the first place. Instead of saying, "I need Jesus," they start to look at other people and say, "They need Jesus. I can't believe someone would do that."

If this is you, be careful. Whenever we find ourselves in the "I can't believe they ..." party, we've walked away from poverty of spirit.

p. 39, Humility teaches us we're all the same, just with different life details. We might have unique issues, but the propensity to live in a way that destroys our own lives is in all of us. 

p. 50, There's an old saying among churchy people: "Love the sinner and hate the sin." In a sense, this is right on. People are more than just what they do. But I want to take it a step further in regard to this beatitude and turn that phrase a bit for you: What if the better step is for you to love the sinner and hate your sin?

p. 64, Let me say it again: Jesus wants to transform our insecurities into invitations. Every time we feel insecure, it's actually like a message from Jesus inviting us closer. How awesome is that?

p. 79, But what we notice right away from Matthew 5:6 is that you and I need to stay hungry for the right things. Why? Because whatever we desire begins to drive our lives. 

p. 100, You want to know if you're really judgmental? If you think everybody else is judgmental, you probably are. 

p. 104, Kindness is nothing more, nor less, than the ability to behave toward others as God has behaved toward us.

p. 106, It's the goodness of the Lord that leads a person to repentance, and God's goodness is mediated through his people. 

p. 137, As a follower of Jesus, it's in no way acceptable to continue to exist as a maker or encourager of rivalry and conflict. 

p. 163, Demonstrating gentleness toward others, especially when they're against us, means we're walking in the humility needed to handle others with care in the ways we speak and the ways we act. Gentleness is a determination to encourage and bless others as we interact with them.

Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better At It?, written by Kim and Penn Holderness

This couple can be pretty funny and I relate to each of them in different ways, so I was intrigued when I discovered they'd written a book about marital conflict. Filled with all sorts of practical tips from the counsel they've received in the trenches of their own marriage, this book deals with unpleasant situations in a straightforward, productive, and lighthearted way. Heads up that there's a bit of language, which I know is a deal-breaker for some.  

p. xiii, We still love each other, but when your kids act out, your parents get sick and/or your dog pees on the carpet, we've learned it gets harder to like someone. Suffice it to say, it's a lot to ask of marriage to be constantly attracted to and in sync with another human.

p. xvi, Shouldn't we look at the 55% divorce rate and say, "Forget pride - what do I need to do to take care of this thing?"

p. 6, In the way that pruning a rosebush isn't bad for the rosebush, conflict isn't bad for a relationship. What's bad is unhealthy, abusive conflict, or conflict that goes to waste because you haven't examined it and learned from it. 

p. 16, It's not enough to point out the problem; you need to take action and bring what you've learned with you into your next fight.

p. 23, Emotions are slippery little suckers, and it doesn't take much pressure for them to slide out of control if they are at the base of your argument. 

p. 48, While we justify our lack of action with benevolent-sounding excuses, the truth is, we don't broach difficult topics for one of two reasons: (1) because they make us uncomfortable, and we are huge wimps who try to minimize discomfort whenever possible, and (2) because sometimes we grow perversely attached to our grievances. 

p. 111, We implore you to make mature people ask for what they want your marriage mantra, too, if only because cultivating the vulnerability it takes to ask will lead to greater intimacy.

p. 191, When you can see your partner with compassion for the effort they are making to do their best, it is harder to be a jerk. 

p. 206, (speaking of a couple who are super happy after twenty years together) At a rehearsal dinner one time we heard a newly engaged couple ask them what their secret was. What they said was really simple: they try to treat each other with the same respect they would show a stranger.

p. 208, The line between comfortable and rude is razor thin, folks, and if you're not careful, those rough edges leave a gash.

** This post contains affiliate links and I'm grateful when people use them. **