GRIEF IS A GNARLY BEAST

Yesterday was the anniversary of a death of someone important in my life. In thinking about that person, as I often do, I suddenly realized the little funk I've had a hard time shaking is grief. I'm not depressed, and there are plenty of things about life I'm thankful for and enjoying, but I've definitely had an underlying struggle for a while. I'm not going to share what I've been grieving, but I will say that my highly visible surface emotions that grief likes to disguise itself as have hidden the fact it was grief itself hiding underneath.

We usually associate grief with death, and I haven't had anyone close to me die in several years, but I think it's more accurately tied to loss. The loss of relationships, seasons of life, community, material possessions, stability, dreams, physical capabilities, beliefs, security, and more. We grieve both what we've already lost and what we know we're about to lose.

As I've always said, grief is a gnarly beast. It hits in different ways, at different times, and for different reasons for different people. It's both predictable and unpredictable. While there are obviously some unhealthy ways of coping with grief, there's no one right way to do it. We all just have to try finding a balance between allowing ourselves to grieve whatever we've lost, which is a normal and healthy thing to do, without letting that grief consume us indefinitely, which is decidedly  unhealthy.

Here are a few thoughts and verses that have come to mind as I've thought about loss and grief today.

No matter what losses I face, God's not going anywhere.

Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Not only is God always with me, but I can tell him all I feel and depend on him for security and comfort until I pull myself together. 

Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Tears are normal and acceptable. 

John 11:35 Jesus wept.

Seasons change. Sometimes grief fades on its own, other times we have to choose to focus our efforts on something else for a time. Often it's a mixture of the two. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.

If you're one who's grieving now, whether on a grand scale or a more subdued one, my prayer for you today is that you'd find some healthy ways of handling all those emotions, learn to find happiness in your new normal, and know that you are loved.