The picture above was taken 18 years, three months, three weeks, and one day ago. The occasion? Tim and I were getting married. The guys? Alex and Shon. Why am I talking about them? Because they've been on my mind a lot lately and they matter to me.
We've been friends since we were 14 & 15 years old and now our own kids range from 4-19. My friendships with these guys has lasted 26 years, a whole generation. One would think we must have much in common to still be friends all these years later, but our lives have been different in countless ways, including some big ones that make people question how we know each other in the first place and why our friendship has lasted so long. It appears to be one of life's great mysteries. That's part of why I value their friendship so much.
I can't speak for them, but I'll tell you why they matter to me. It's because of stuffed dinosaurs that sing to me and picking up my tab at Senor Sam's. It's seeing each other every day as neighbors and phone calls when there's distance between us. It's me giving them rides to A&W and Flying Gull, then them giving me rides in a Jetta and Tacoma. It's football and baseball games. It's flowers on my mom's grave and a steady stream of cheesy jokes. It's lime popsicles and strawberry milk or holiday M&Ms and Big Eds. It's being there for each other when hard stuff is happening. It's knowing they'd have my back if I ever needed them. It's having access to one's locker and handing my car keys to the other. It's things they say that let me know I matter to them. It's a rock sale in my back yard and stopping by my workplace so I can meet their new baby. It's a history of friendship where each of us finds value in a person whose life we can't always relate to. It's a million memories, some important and many more that were insignificant at the time, but gain value when put together.
It's Alex, a guy I couldn't stand initially, but who I had to put up with because we had a mutual close friend in Shon, and eventually liked being around. It's dorm visits, apartment neighbors, and knowing exactly who I'd call if I needed to feel safe. It's a steady, dependable friendship.
It's Shon, a guy I was really close to for a long time. It's a friendship I tried to end once, but that couldn't be killed, even with some dry spells when our lives didn't intersect. It's being grateful for and proud of someone. It's a friendship that's had rocky moments, but is deeply rooted.
I think my wedding was the last time the three of us were all in the same place at the same time and I don't know if it will ever happen again, but I talked to Shon for an hour last Sunday and I'll see Alex this coming Sunday. Those two things, the phone call and visit, make me smile. Those two guys, Shon and Alex, make me smile. The unlikelihood of them being the high school friends I still chat with on the phone as a middle-aged adult makes me smile ... and chuckle a little.
I know I've said it about them before, but I'll say it again. Unlikely friendships that span decades are a treasure.
Photo notes: The picture of Alex with my family was from a visit in 2016. The one of me with part of Shon's family was from my trip in 2015.
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