Roses are red
My toilet is white
When I need to hurl
It's an unwelcome site
I'd have to kneel down
With my face where butts go
When out of my mouth
My last meal starts to flow
If food's coming up
And I must hold back my hair
Then at food in the toilet
I don't want to stare
I could close my eyes
To block the view
But then I couldn't watch out
For the backsplash of spew
So when I am preggo
And feel the puke coming
Into the kitchen
You'll see me go running
I don't have to kneel
I just stand at the sink
I turn on the water
But don't take a drink
Instead I just hurl
And it goes right down the drain
No staring at vomit
To make me insane
The flow of the faucet
Also muffles the noise
So the sound of my wretching
Won't bug the girl or the boys
When I'm throwing up
My head gets really hot
So I splash running water
To cool down that spot
When it's all said and done
When the chunks are all blown
I flip on the disposal
And hear the thing groan
There's no mess to look at
And my puke is all gone
That's why I like the sink
Instead of the john
And, yes, in case you were wondering, this poem was inspired by preggo puking this morning. I only puked once per pregnancy with the other little Ws, so I'm hoping today's excitement was the first and last time it happens.
7 comments:
wow. Glad I wasn't eating when I read that! :P Cute poem, though. :D If I'd had a disposal during my pregnancies, I would have used the sink, too! So much more pleasant than the place where butts go. hehheh
I threw up everyday with Avery and used the kitchen sink e every time for all the poem's reasons!! Just opening the fridge could make me vomit. My favorite memory though is throwing up into a bowl while nursing Karis at the same time with sore pregnant boobs!! Fun times!!
Oh, no! I hope that's the first and last puke for you. Nice poem, by the way =).
OMG... that is hilarious! You should copyright that one!
Praise God for his wonderful provision of a garbage disposal, which He indirectly created anyway.
This is hysterical-- you have such a gift for words! Every woman who has ever been pregnant would totally relate and laugh!
I actually threw up at least once almost everyday I was pregnant with both my sons. I even threw up in labor with both of them. I wanted to have 6 kids, maybe I should be thankful I only had 2!
The worst episode was when Scott was a toddler and I was pregnant with Jason. I was grocery shopping with him in the old grocery store in the Harbor shopping center. I related to Abby's comment-- just opening the frig could set it off. Well, how about walking past all the dairy/ meat coolers?!! I felt it coming but knew the only restroom was through the stock room and up a huge flight of stairs ( I had been there before to throw up!). I also knew I would never make it with a toddler up those stairs in time. The last thing I wanted to hear over the store's loud speaker was "clean up on aisle 3" so I quickly pushed my cart with Scott in the child seat out to the parking lot and threw up, hanging onto a stranger's car hood. Luckily, I missed the car. I was too embarassed to hang around waiting for the driver of the car to come back. I probably should have left a note on the windshield apologizing for the "pool of stuff" by their car. Later, I thought I could have just thrown up in the store and then pulled out a tissue from Scott's diaper bag, innocently wiped his mouth and let passing shoppers think this cute, blond, blue-eyed little guy had done it. Oh well, most of my good ideas come after the fact.
I agree, hopefully, this is your one and only episode this time too.
Thanks for making me laugh... I needed it!
Wow, I never threw up with either pregnancy but this poem totally rocks. Next time I have the flu I'll remember to avoid where the butts go and aim for my disposal too. :)
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