OCTOBER THOUGHTS

October is winding down and I'm realizing how much of this month I've spent thinking about last October. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. In no particular order -

* Made special, lifetime memories. 

* Enjoyed the season of marriage we were in. 

* Hit an emotional and mental low. 

* Quit a part-time job I wanted to keep. 

* Experienced deep hurt. 

* Adjusted to Tim's career change. 

* Entered uncharted parenting territory. 

* Started a slow process of personal growth in some specific areas.

There's one side of this reminiscing that's not helpful, the part where I haven't seen as much progress as I'd like in certain things and get discouraged.  But the other side has been good, the part where I can evaluate where things are and choose to keep moving forward.

Life is filled with highs and lows, right? My tendency is to be overwhelmed by the lows, to feel hopeless when positive change is beyond my control, and to get frustrated with myself when I struggle to get over something negative. I hit a rough patch in relationships, circumstances, or my own sin and forget all that's true and good. 

* That rough patches are unavoidable.

* That I can have peace in the midst of life's challenges. 

* That I'm making progress, even if it's ridiculously slow and filled with failure. 

* That God's love for me doesn't hinge on my behavior or mental health. 

So, here's to another year of growth. To being more secure in who I am in Christ and less bothered by my own imperfect humanity. To gratitude, love, humility, trust, and forgiveness. To focusing my attention on what matters most to me and letting the rest go.

And, no, the picture has nothing to do with the post. It's just one I took on Friday while I hung out all by myself in the van, reading a book and looking up the Bible verses it mentioned, exchanging Facebook messages with a close friend, and waiting for the bi-annual clothing exchange I've attended for over a decade to get started. Documenting ordinary life.