A GUIDE TO SPEAKING CHRISTIANESE
Fellowship: hanging out.Food, Fellowship, and Fun: hanging out and eating. [Note: Fun is possible, but by no means inevitable.]
That blessed me: I enjoyed that.
I will pray for you: I have absolutely nothing to say to that.
Grace and Peace: We need a bigger military budget in this country.
God is good, All the time!: This sucks.
Praise the Lord!: Does anybody know exactly what "praise" means?
Praise and Worship: Hike up your pants... six more verses of this insipid song...
Lord, we just...: Prayer On.
Amen (1): Prayer Off.
Amen (2): Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
Amen (3): This sermon could go all the way.
The wisdom of men: Any knowledge or reasoning that I do not understand or that does not support my position.
The foolishness of God: Any stupid information, reasoning, or idea that supports my position.
That Bears Witness With My Spirit: I agree with you.
Share (1): Let's talk about me for awhile.
Share (2): Gossip, libel, slander, defamation.
Counsel: Psychological malpractice by amateurs.
Are You Saved?: Are you like me?
Bless her heart: She is not like me.
They Need Your Prayers For An Unspoken Request: I know something you don't know.
Can You Tell Me How To Pray For Them?: Will you tell me what you know that I don't know?
Yes, Because They Need Your Prayers: We will now gossip.
They were living in sin: They lived in some sin besides gossip.
I'm just blessed: Thank you.
I'm under attack: Bad week, dude.
We lift up...: Our present topic is...
I Feel Led...: I'm about to do / say something incredibly weird, but you can't say anything against it.
I reBUKE this illness!: If you get better it's because of me.
We lift this up in faith believing: If you do not get better it's because of you.
My thoughts? I think he hit the nail on the head in many of these. I think Christians often use words that sound spiritual, though they mean the same as a non-Christianese word. I think some people will get defensive when finding something they say on this list. I don't like it when people use Christianese to try and disguise the fact they're talking about things they shouldn't be. I think it would be hard to try and decode Christianese if you'd never been exposed to it.
So, did the list make you laugh or fire you up a little? Just curious.
9 comments:
I do believe that the scriptures are full of "Christian sayings." However, modern day Christians have a way of messing it all up--for the sake of looking spiritual. The Pharisees and Saducees did the same thing With that said, the Lord weighs the heart!
I thought "I will pray for you," meant "I will pray for you if I remember, but I probably won't".
Totally cracked me up. Somehow I missed that on SL.
They were living in sin: They lived in some sin besides gossip.
and
I Feel Led...: I'm about to do / say something incredibly weird, but you can't say anything against it.
Those two cracked me up!
I laughed!
Especially at "God is good, all the time = this sucks"
Well, at least if that's what someone really means, they're saying the former instead of the latter...right? :)
So funny! I attended a church in college that used every one of those statements and meanings!
I do agree with your dad. The I will pray for you statement usually implies only if I think about it and I probably won't remember.
Some of them felt "off" for me--as in, I don't see people using them that way much.
But: "I'm under attack: Bad week, dude." totally made me smile.
And, yes: Too often we can hide behind an outward appearance of holiness and totally miss the point. It happened in Jesus' day and it happens now.
~Luke
Yeah, how come noone says 'living in sin' when they're talking about someone who over eats? Ha ha. That one is funny.
But, although I laughed, I still plan on using most of those, because if they're heartfelt, there's nothing wrong with them.
Although, one I will never use is 'traveling mercies', that one just sounds weird.
This made me laugh!! Mostly becuase I use some of these myself - like "bless her heart" - so bad!!
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