We're about five weeks into this season of social distancing, three since our governor issued an executive order to stay at home unless doing essential business, which means the Ws haven't gone anywhere or spent time with friends in quite a while.
Tim has continued working full-time, but has otherwise been home. Silas left for work one week, worked remotely for two weeks, went in for a few hours one day during week four, and just left for a brief time at work today in week five. Devon's continued his job helping an elderly couple in town, taking extra precautions so they never come near each other, but has otherwise been home. Naomi and Tyler haven't left home at all in almost five weeks. I've left for two grocery shopping trips in a month and don't plan to leave for another two weeks or more, but have otherwise been home. The only other exception to us being home is taking several walks around our neighborhood. We miss people, of course, but understand this won't last forever.
It can feel like forever, though. Of all the Ws, I suspect that forever feeling is probably strongest for Silas. I don't know the exact date he last saw Natie, but it's been about four weeks. That's a long time when you only live 15 minutes apart. FaceTime has made it possible for them to talk regularly and interact with each other's families, but it's obviously not the same as hanging out in person. I've told him this is similar to (although obviously not exactly the same as) the experience of many couples who have long-distance relationships, whether because they're going to school in separate states, one travels a lot for work, or another is deployed for long periods of time. The good news is this time apart will be relatively short in the scheme of things.
One of the ways they've stayed connected during social distancing is to mail letters back and forth, which reminded me of the early days of Tim and I dating.
Prior to the start of our relationship, I'd committed to spending a summer in Russia. That meant saying goodbye at the end of the school year so Tim could leave Ashland to spend a couple months working in Portland and I could leave the country. One of the things we did to feel connected during that time apart was to buy journals. We spent the summer writing to each other in them, swapping to read what the other wrote when we eventually reunited. Nine weeks without seeing each other, seven and a half weeks without any contact of any kind. It was so hard!
I pulled those journals out yesterday and skimmed over their pages for the first time in several years, remembering the details of our lives during that season - fun things we were doing, decisions being made, interesting experiences, what we cared about, who we spent time with, stressful situations. The time apart wasn't something we'd have chosen, but we were intentional about finding ways to invest in our relationship when we couldn't be together.
If you find yourself unable to be with the person you're dating because of the pandemic (or for any other reason, for that matter), I encourage you to find ways to stay connected beyond screen interaction. Keep up with those video chats, for sure, but also have something tangible you can look back on later to remember how you kept your relationship a priority while you were separated.
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