SCALING BACK

We've never had very many ongoing commitments, just church twice a week and our local homeschool group once week, but somehow I hit the end of June with at least one thing I was committed to each day for six days a week, a handful of other ongoing commitments that were monthly, quarterly, plus all the other one-time things that vary from week to week and often filled the one day without ongoing commitments. I'm an extrovert and enjoy having things going on, but I was fried. Totally and completely over-committed and overwhelmed.

I've always felt that people shouldn't complain about being busy because, with the exception of things like medical issues that require lots of appointments, their own choices are what put them in that situation. If they don't like being busy, then they need to change something - their commitments or their attitude. The problem was that each thing on my plate was not only worthwhile from an outsider's perspective, it was also really important to me personally. So, what was I to do?

As it turned out, some of my commitments paused for the summer and the little Ws were out of town a lot. That gave me a chance to sit back, breathe, and reevaluate things. What part of our schedule is because we have four kids, ages four to fourteen, and it's just a busy season of life that I need to accept? What things can I reschedule to make some days a little crazier than usual, but free up other days completely? What things do I need to change or drop entirely, at least for a while? 

Several things have helped. Three friends (Heather, Jess, & Mandi) with several blog posts between them that were timely for me. A counseling appointment in early July. Friends who helped me think outside the box. Having my turn come up after three months on the hold list for Unstuffed: Decluttering Your Home, Mind & Soul just as I was reevaluating things. (Sidenote: Love the book and have some quotes in my July book list.) Random things I'd read in books, hear in lyrics, or see on Facebook. Lots of time to think and pray. 

There are only so many hours in the day, not nearly as many as all the good things I want to be involved in, and I need to manage my time wisely. I had to figure out what, of all the things that are important to me, mattered the most. Which things were the biggest rocks in my bucket? What was my motivation for each specific thing I was committed to? If I could only have two or three commitments, then which ones would I keep? (I wasn't necessarily limiting myself to that many, but it's a good way to prioritize things.)

My personality is such that if I'm in, then I'm all in. Way in. So I'm also working on choosing which things to jump in with both feet for and which ones to be a participant instead of a leader, an attendee instead of a helper. Deciding how to be involved is probably harder for me than deciding if I should be involved, but I'm working on it. The whole thing will be an ongoing process, I'm sure.

There are still some commitments I haven't made final decisions about and other things will have to get figured out as we go along, but I've already implemented some changes and made plans for some upcoming ones. I know there will be days and weeks ahead that are anything but dreamy, but I'm no longer dreading to the return to regular life as summer ends. Scaling back is going to be a good thing.