I'm the Queen "B" -- Wife of His Majes "T" -- Mom of four royally awesome kids: three princes and a princess.
Tuesday, September 30, 2025
PUZZLES I FINISHED - SEPTEMBER 2025
BOOKS I FINISHED - SEPTEMBER 2025
I finished ten books this month - five fiction, five non-fiction, five audio, and five print.
The Black Angels: The Untold Story of the Nurses Who Helped Cure Tuberculosis, written by Maria Smilios and narrated by Gina Daniels
How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, written by David Brooks
I appreciate books that are packed with useful information, but written in a manner that's easy to read. Such is the case with this deep dive into how we can better see people as unique individuals with stories to tell, whether in general, through the lens of the hardships in their lives, or from the vantage point of their positive traits. Drawing from a lot of scientific research and the personal experiences of many people, both well-known and unknown, it's about asking good questions, paying attention, showing empathy, and the deep need all humans have to connect with others. I learned about this book from Kendra Adachi in her May 2024 Latest Lazy Letter from The Lazy Genius.
p. 7, Wise people don't just possess information; they possess a compassionate understanding of other people. They know about life.
p. 7, Being open-hearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being. But it is not enough. People need social skills.
p. 15, How often in your life have you felt stereotyped and categorized? How often have you felt prejudged, invisible, misheard, or misunderstood? Do you really think you don't do this to others on a daily basis?
p. 26, You can be loved by a person yet not be known by them.
p. 31, If you see the people you meet as precious souls, you'll probably wind up treating them well.
p. 45, Even when you know someone well, I find that if you don't talk about the little things on a regular basis, it's hard to talk about the big things.
p. 81, If you want to build a shared connection, try sitting with their experience before you start ladling out your own.
p. 87, I've come to think of questioning as a moral practice. When you are asking a good question, you are adopting a posture of humility. You're confessing that you don't know and you want to learn. You're also honoring a person.
p. 103, The essence of evil is the tendency to obliterate the humanity of another.
p. 109, These days, if you want to know someone well, you have to see the person in front of you as a distinct and never-to-be-repeated individual. But you've also got to see that person as a member of their groups. And you've also got to see their social location - the way someone people are insiders and other people are outsiders, how some sit on the top of society and some are marginalized to the fringes. The trick is to be able to see each person on these three levels all at once.
p. 115, Remember that the person who is lower in any power structure than you are has a greater awareness of the situation than you do. A servant knows more about his master than the master knows about the servant. Someone who is being sat on knows a lot about the sitter - the way he shifts his weight and moves - whereas the sitter may not be aware that the sat-on person is even there.
p. 126 (speaking of when someone is depressed) I learned, very gradually, that a friend's job in these circumstances is not to cheer the person up. It's to acknowledge the reality of the situation; it's to hear, respect, and love them; it's to show them you haven't given up on them, you haven't walked away.
p. 216, We live in a culture that is paradigmatic rich and narrative poor. In Washington, for example, we have these political talk shows that avoid anything personal. A senator or newsmaker comes on to offer talking points on behalf of this or that partisan position. The host asks gotcha question, scripted in advance, to challenge this or that position. The guests spit out a bunch of canned talking-point answers. The whole thing is set up as a gladiatorial verbal combat. Just once I'd love to have a host put aside the questions and say, "Just tell me who you are." It would be so much more interesting, and it would lead to a healthier political atmosphere. But we don't live in a culture that encourages that.
p. 235, Today, in our identity politics world, we are constantly reducing people to categories: Black/white, gay/straight, Republican/Democrat. It's a first-rate way to dehumanize others and not see individuals.
p. 257, Successful friendship, like successful therapy, is a balance of deference and defiance. It involves showing positive regard, but also calling people on their self-deceptions.
Inside Out & Back Again, written by Thanhha Lai
Drawing from her own refugee experience of fleeing Vietnam as a child and landing in Alabama, this novel is about one pivotal year in the life of a ten year old girl. Although it's a work of fiction, it's a strong reminder of how citizens of a refugee's new country have the power to break their new neighbors' spirits or help to lift them up, that expecting newcomers to have or accept the religious beliefs we happen to hold is ridiculous, not knowing the language and customs of a foreign country someone has arrived in through traumatic circumstances doesn't make them stupid, and the English language is an absolute beast to learn if it's not what you were raised with. Written in verse, it can be read in one sitting.
p. 63, Everyone knows the ship
could sink,
unable to hold
the piles of bodies
that keep crawling on
like raging ants
from a disrupted nest
But no one
is heartless enough
to say
stop
because what if
they had been
stopped
before their turn?
p. 108, Then by chance Mother learns
sponsors prefer those
whose applications say "Christians."
Just like that
Mother amends our faith,
saying all beliefs
are pretty much the same.
p. 132, I step back,
hating pity,
having learned
from Mother that
the pity giver
feels better,
never the pity receiver
p. 135, Would be simpler
if English
and life
were logical.
p. 143, One one side
of the bright, noisy room,
light skin.
Other side,
dark skin.
Both laughing, chewing,
as if it never occurred
to them
someone medium
would show up.
Jacob Have I Loved, written by Katherine Paterson and narrated by Moira Kelly
I chose this 1980 story from Libby's "available now" options when I needed an audiobook. The main character is a girl who lives in the shadow of her twin, resenting the way her sister is revered by everyone on the small island where their family lives. She struggles to find her own place in the world, navigating various relationships within and outside of her family, working on the water with her dad, and trying to decide what she wants her future to look like. Although there were a few lines that made me chuckle and the premise intrigued me, this Newbery winner is a coming of age story that I didn't enjoy as much as I'd hoped to.
The Last Exchange, written by Charles Martin and narrated by Joshua Manning and MacLeod Andrews
A Hollywood star with a hard childhood, horrible husband, drug addiction, and years of infertility. A bodyguard with absolute dedication to protecting the star from anything and anyone who could harm the Hollywood star. This is a story of professionalism, friendship, and love all tangled up in each other, sometimes displayed in ways that are unexpected and questionable. I've only read three of Martin's books and this is the second that made me cry.
25:37, I've always believed that if you don't know something about somebody, you fill the gap with trust until you do.
4:44, "In my line of work I've met people. All kinds, all walks. Some up, some down. One things is true of all of us. Nobody has their stuff together. Not presidents, not paupers, not soldiers, not actors." He glanced at her. "We are all a mess and no amount of money, no amount of drugs changes that. When you're broken, life is about finding the beauty in the mess and then holding on for dear life. And there's no shame in that, provided we're honest about it."
10:40, "Brokenness is not weakness." She waved her hand across the crowd. "Look around. We're all broken. Welcome to the human race. Weakness is being broken, but too proud to ask for help. Sitting there thinking you got this." She shook her head once. "You don't got this. You don't got this at all. Real strength is knowing that and understanding that you're broken. Only then do you got anything."
Louder Than Hunger, written by John Schu
Walking: One Step at a Time, written by Erling Kagge and translated from Norwegian by Becky L. Crook
Given that I go on a walk every single day and love it, I was intrigued when I heard about this book on What Should I Read Next?, episode 268 - Our team's best books of the year. It's a small book that talks about why, how, and where we walk, as well as the impact that walking has on our lives, creativity, and productivity. It has separation between sections, but no chapters, and is written more like a collection of related thoughts. It felt like a gentle conversation that includes facts and quotes, not like research on walking. I enjoyed it.
p. 5, Journeys of discovery are not something you start doing, but something you gradually stop doing.
p. 84 (speaking of Magdi Habib Yacoub, the British-Egyptian surgeon who performed over 20,000 open-heart surgeries), I was curious and asked Yacoub what he had learned from studying thousands of beating human hearts. Yacoub replied, without much ado: "Go for a walk every day." He assured me that this advice would never grow outdated.
p. 91-92, What would happen if world leaders were forced to take daily walks among the people?
< snip >
There is something undemocratic in distancing yourself from the natural world, the street, and the people over whom you rule. In Norway, leading politicians fortunately walk among the electorate. They see us and we see them. They shop where we shop and have their coffee in the same coffee shops as those who put them in power.
Though you might be able to glean a lot of information from reading, listening at meetings, looking out of car windows, and peering down from your skyscraper, everything appears different if you walk along the streets where the citizens are gathering their own food for cooking, opening a shop, checking their phones, loving, reading, conversing, and thinking. From far away, the world can seem homogeneous, but your mental map no longer matches the actual terrain.
The greater the physical distance between the decision makers and those affected by the decisions, the less relevant the decisions appear to the people impacted by them.
p. 98, To walk is to enjoy simple pleasures.
What Does It Feel Like?, written by Sophie Kinsella and narrated by Sally Phillips with author's note narrated by Kinsella
I've never read any of Kinsella's books, but this novella came up as a "skip the line" option on Libby and it intrigued me. The main character is an accomplished author who's diagnosed with cancer, has brain surgery to remove the tumor, and has to relearn everything in her life. It's a short book, but shows the contentment found in her lucky personal and professional life, devotion of her husband, discouragement and confusion of knowing just enough to realize you don't know anything anymore, difficulty of breaking the news to family members, and repetition of everything from offers to help and kind words to the plastic chairs in countless waiting rooms. Although a work of fiction, the story's mostly autobiographical and was inspired by Kinsella's own recent experience with cancer. It's a heavy topic, but written in a simultaneously realistic and positive tone that I enjoyed reading.
Thursday, September 25, 2025
THANKFUL THURSDAY
I'm thankful for flushable indoor toilets. What's one thing that you're thankful for?
Thursday, September 18, 2025
THANKFUL THURSDAY
Thursday, September 11, 2025
THANKFUL THURSDAY
Thursday, September 4, 2025
THANKFUL THURSDAY
Sunday, August 31, 2025
BOOKS I FINISHED - AUGUST 2025
The Borrowed Life of Fredrick Fife, written by Anna Johnston and narrated by Tim Carroll
The main character in this novel is a kind 82 year old man, recently (as in the day the book starts) homeless, and with no family. By a bizarre and coincidental circumstance, he ends up with an opportunity to live the life of a man who just died. This deception brings him a place to call home and people to show kindness toward. It's a full life, but for the guilty conscience. Addressing things like addiction, estrangement, widowhood, grief, and terminal illness means it could be a downer of a book, but it's not. Because it's also about friendship, second chances, family, forgiveness, and love. I learned about this book from a friend in a reading group and adored everything about it.
1:39:26, Ah, young love. There was nothing better, except, perhaps, old love. Love of fifty years. But you had to start somewhere.
2:35:48, Grief was love with nowhere to go.
4:35:54, "Feelings are like flatulence, better out than in. That's what I always say!"
The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me, written by Bruce Feiler
The Dictionary of Lost Words, written by Pip Williams and narrated by Pippa Bennett-Warner
A random "skip the line" selection from Libby, this novel is inspired by the real women who contributed to the Oxford English Dictionary, yet didn't receive any credit for their work. The protagonist is someone the reader follows through decades of her life, a girl raised by her dad to love words. As she grows beyond childhood she realizes that many words are being intentionally left out of the dictionary and dedicates herself to defining and cataloguing them. In the process, the story addresses societal issues and historical events. Strangely, I'm still not sure if I liked the book or not.
3:06:07, Our thinking was limited by convention, the most subtle but oppressive dictator.
4:12:06, "The dictionary is a history book, Esme. If it has taught me anything, it is that the way we conceive of things now will almost certainly change."
4:57:15, "When yer feared, you need to think ordinary thoughts, do ordinary things. You ’ear me? The fear’ll back off, for a time at least."
11:10:45, The dictionary, like the English language, is a work in progress.
Her Own Two Feet: A Rwandan Girl's Brave Fight to Walk, written by Meredith Davis and Rebeka Uwitonze and narrated by Mirirai Sithole
This book was co-written by a Rwandan teenager who spent a year in America as a nine year old and the woman she lived with during that time. The girl was born with disfigured feet and was unable to walk. Not only did she do everything she could on her own to get herself up off the ground, but she then took advantage of an opportunity to have her feet surgically repaired. That opportunity meant leaving her family, community, and continent for a year, moving to an unfamiliar place where she didn't speak the language, and experiencing intimidating medical situations. It's the story of her courage and tenacity, but also a reminder to not take for granted whatever access to medical care we have and to do what we're able to make regular life more accessible to those with physical disabilities. I'd never heard of this book, but it was an "available now" option on Libby and I thought it was good. Technically a middle grade book, which means it's great for kids to listen to, it doesn't feel childish in any way for an adult reader.
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, written and narrated by Maya Angelou
I read the last of Angelou's seven memoirs, the only writing of hers I'd ever read, back in 2019 and felt pretty neutral about it. When this one came up as a "skip the line" option in Libby, I decided to give it a try because it's famous and well-loved. Covering her childhood up through age 16, it describes the life of a child who experienced, among other hardships, blatant racism, rape, a summer spent living in a junkyard, and teenage pregnancy. But it's also the story of a child who knew specific people cared for her, was smart, became resilient, and learned the power of words. I love how a child who coped with childhood trauma by refusing to speak for several years grew to be a woman whose words are valued worldwide. My little summary feels paltry, but I really enjoyed the book and like it when an author narrates a book about their own life.
7:38:04, The quality of strength lined with tenderness is an unbeatable combination.
10:10:07, Mother whispered, "See, you don't have to think about doing the right thing. If you're for the right thing, then you do it without thinking."
The Indifferent Stars Above: The Harrowing Saga of the Donner Party, written by Daniel James Brown and narrated by Michael Prichard
Recommended by a friend who said it was a good, I opted for the audio version of this book. Needless to say, a deep dive into the story of a group of people who chose a hard path with the belief that it would be worth the struggle, followed the advice of someone they shouldn't have listened to, and ultimately paid for that decision by either dying or surviving by eating the emaciated bodies of those in their group who died isn't exactly a fun time. It was interesting, however.
Love Forms, written by Claire Adam
A woman in her late fifties, recently divorced and the mother of two adult sons, has been trying to find the daughter she placed for adoption when she was a teenager. It's set primarily in Trinidad and Tobago, where she's from, and London, where she currently lives, but also in Venezuela, where she was sent to to give birth in secrecy. Incidentally, the author was born and raised in Trinidad and Tobago and currently lives in London. Alternating between the present and the past, this novel addresses hard topics (teen pregnancy, political unrest, adoption, family dynamics) in a gentle way. I learned about it from Shelf Awareness, 8/8/25 edition, thought it was great, and will be putting Adam's other novel on my TBR.
Shakespeare Saved My Life: Ten Years in Solitary with the Bard, written by Laura Bates
p. 104, I didn't necessarily want to go skydiving at the age of ninety, but I did want my life to expand with each passing year, rather than narrow. I wanted to avoid spending my life in a prison of my own making.
p. 122, In seg, after so long, you get this sense of helplessness: there's nothing you control in your life, nothing! You need somebody else for everything in your life: for your clothes to be clean, for something to eat, to go to the shower, you need somebody else. After long exposure to that, it just grows into you and then you don't have any kind of confidence in yourself, you feel like that's your life, you feel like you're just this animal that they say you are.
p. 162, "It is not our conscience that torments us over our image; that is our ego tormenting us. Our conscience torments us when we behave in ways that are contrary to our values. When you look in the mirror and cringe as a result of your shame, it is your conscience. When you look in the mirror and cringe as a result of how people think of you, it is ego. Which of the two is more prevalent in your life?"
p. 179, I was once interviewed by a local news reporter who asked the common questions: Why are you doing this? Why do you care about these prisoners?
"I do care about them," I replied, "but, hey, I also care about you and me. Most of these guys will be on the street one day, and when the move in next door to you or enroll in one of my classes on campus, I want them to be less violent than they were when they came to prison."
p. 224, Why do we assume that educating a criminal is merely helping him commit more sophisticated crimes? Whey can't we assume that an education can give this person the tools to make more acceptable choices?
Our second argument is "Why should we do good for bad people?" The answer is because "anything else would be bad." If we are not doing good for bad people, then we are doing bad for bad people. We should not be working on ways to do bad for isolated populations of people; rather, we should work on developing good no matter who is on the receiving end. That is our obligation to society.
p. 245, Regret suggests a concern for yourself: "I'm sorry I got caught because I'm sorry I'm in prison," whereas remorse is driven by concern for the victim: "I'm sorry I did that because I'm sorry he's dead."
The Small and the Mighty: Twelve Unsung Americans Who Changed the Course of History, from the Founding to the Civil Rights Movement, written and narrated by Sharon McMahon
I've heard positive things about this book from a few people over the last year, and know even more people who like the author, so I grabbed the book from the "skip the line" options on Libby. I enjoyed learning about people I'd never heard of and the impact they made on our country. The whole book is a good reminder to not just say something's important to you, but to prove it with your actions. It's about people who did the right thing simply because it was the right thing, regardless of whether they received any recognition, and often at great personal cost.
5:39:18, But quiet lives can sometimes leave the loudest echoes.
8:00:31, What will history remember with kindness? The leader with the most cunning tweets? The one with the most self-aggrandizing speeches and the biggest audiences? No, it's not the cynics who emerge the heroes, but the people who spent their lives in service to others. It's those who fight for justice for someone whose reflection they don't see in the mirror.
9:13:16, The protestor was likening black children to animals. Listen, y'all don't need to write to me saying, "That's not true Christianity." I'm not asking you to believe it is, but these were not fringe beliefs in many of the evangelical churches in the south. This was how most white Christians at that time and in that place interpreted the scriptures. It was what they heard from their pulpits and what they wanted taught in schools. White supremacy and white Christian identity are inextricably linked in American history. Facts don't require our personal approval for them to be facts.
10:06:59 ... education is liberation and an educated population is very difficult to oppress.
Under the Overpass: A Journey of Faith on the Streets of America, written by Mike Yankoski
The author and another young man chose to spend five months being homeless, a decision made out of a desire to put their Christian faith in action and to the test. Dividing their time between six major cities (Denver, D.C., Portland, San Francisco, Phoenix, and San Diego), the men started off in separate rehab facilities as a way to transition into their new life, then lived on the streets for the duration. This book chronicles their experience of never knowing where they'd sleep or if they'd eat, the ups and downs of their relationship throughout their time together, the realities of life on the street, and the way they were treated by other homeless people, the general public, and Christian churches (which they made a point to continue attending every Sunday). I didn't make note of how I heard about this book, but it's been on my TBR list since December 2023 and I'm glad I read it.
p. 14, Suddenly I was shocked to realize that I had just driven twenty minutes past the world that needed me to be the Christian I say I am, in order to hear a sermon entitled "Be the Christian you say you are." Soon I would drive back past that same world to the privilege of my comfortable life on campus at a Christian college.
p. 46, If we are the body of Christ - and Christ came not for the healthy but the sick - we need to be fully present in the places where people are the most broken. And it has to be more than just a financial presence. That helps, of course. But too often money is insulation - in conveniently keeps us from ever having to come face-to-face with a man or woman whose life is in tatters.
p. 48, Obviously the people standing in front had good enough intentions, but our good intentions and sound theology are wasted if those we minister to don't feel that we care about their immediate concerns.
p. 65, While kids might pretend people who don't exist do, it's the parents who pretend that unwanted people who do exist don't.
p. 107, To me, one of the best things about the gospel is that Jesus Christ proclaims and restores human and eternal worth for everyone who believes - regardless of what a person might look or smell like now, no matter what's crawling through his hair.
And because we follow this Christ, each of us has both the ability and the responsibility ("response-ability") to do the same.
p. 121 (quoting Of God and Men, written by A.W. Tozer) We hear a Christian assure someone that he will 'pray over' his problem, knowing full well that he intends to use prayer as a substitute for service. It is much easier to pray that a poor friend's needs may be supplied than to supply them.
p. 140, "The Bible clearly says, if you see someone hungry, feed them; if you see someone naked, clothe them. Those words weren't meant for us to make books and sermons about. They're written so people don't go hungry and naked. And they require action from all followers of Christ, not just the rescue missions."
p. 217, The bottom line is that real love always shows itself in action.
The Watsons Go to Birmingham - 1963, written by Christopher Paul Curtis and narrated by LeVar Burton



























