Wow! There were more than 30 suggestions!! It was hard to choose the top three. So, I broke the rules and chose the top four. It's my contest, after all. Thanks to everyone who contributed ideas. I'm amazed at the variety you all came up with.
I will tell post the top four in a poll over on your right. Voting will be open through midnight on 8/17/08. I'll announce a winner on 8/18/08.
My four favorites, in alphabetical order are ...
Bethany Crocker
Eats, Meats, Wheats & Treats
For the Love of Grub
Queen B's Royal Recipes
Go vote!!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
THE BIG UNO
We celebrated Naomi's first birthday yesterday. Can you believe she's one already?! We have been hosting a summer potluck series at our house, so her party was combined with our third potluck. A total of 39 people were here and we had a great time. Becky snapped a bunch of pictures and you can see them on her site.
Thanks to everyone who helped us eat cake and creamsicles!!
Thanks to everyone who helped us eat cake and creamsicles!!
Friday, August 8, 2008
SUCCESS - MY ANSWERS
If you didn't read "SUCCESS - MY QUESTIONS", then please click on the link or scroll down and read it first. It's right below this post. Reading it will make this post make much more sense.
I'm so thankful to Sharon for asking me how I define success as a wife, mom, and homemaker. I spend so much time feeling like a failure, but one can't fail unless there is a standard to strive for in the first place. I've never really defined what that standard is, what success looks like to me, but I constantly feel like I don't measure up. It's just about killed me, but I haven't read the responses to the questions yet. I didn't want them to sway my own answer. I'm sure the comments will be good, yet varied. Some philosophical, others practical. I'll read them as soon as I finish typing this up.
As I wrote yesterday, I've realized how much I determine my success or failure by how much of my "to do" lists of marriage, parenting, and homemaking I get accomplished. I told someone today that unless my house is sparkling clean and all projects are completed, my kids always obey immediately and no bickering is ever heard, I never have to deal with a behavioral issue with a child more than once, and our marriage is filled with endless and fascinating conversations, constant and phenomenal sex, and plenty of fun dates, then I feel like I'm failing. It's like I'm trying to keep so many plates spinning at once and it's just overwhelming. What do you do when you're spinning 20 plates and seven of them are starting to fall? Try to keep them all barely going? Let some crash and work to make the others spin well?
I've spent the last two days thinking, reading, and praying about this issue. I'll share my definitions in just a second. I don't think my answers are "right". They're simply the things that would be indicators to me that I was successful as a wife, mom, and homemaker. And I've decided what to do about those seven falling plates. I'm going to work on one at a time. I won't completely blow off the other six, but I'm going to work on being more realistic about what my abilities are, both as an individual (my personality, weaknesses, etc) and as someone in this particular season of life (at home with three young kids, homeschooling, etc). I'm going to work on knowing my limits, knowing when to keep working on something and when to just chill out.
For the record, I don't think I'm currently failing in each of the following areas that are my personal indicators of success. They are just my goals. I've also included some verses that came to mind as I thought through all of this.
So, here we go.
I will know that I'm successful as a wife when -
* Tim and I are good friends who enjoy and desire each other's company
* Tim and I have a sex life that is satisfying for both of us
* Tim feels respected and appreciated
* Tim knows I pray for him regularly
* Tim knows I love him unconditionally
Wife verses -
* Proverbs 31:11-12 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (respected and appreciated)
* Song of Songs 5:16b This is my lover, this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. (good friends)
* I Corinthians 7:4-5 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time so that you may devote yourself to prayer. (sex life)
* Ephesians 5:33b And the wife must respect her husband. (respected and appreciated)
* James 5:16b The prayer of a righteous man (or woman, as the case may be) is powerful and effective. (prayer)
I will know that I'm a successful as a mom when -
* My kids know who Jesus is and how much he loves them
* My kids have the skills to make wise and responsible decisions
* My kids have been taught and shown how to serve and be kind to others
* My kids understand what a good work ethic is
* My kids know I love them unconditionally
Mom verses -
* Deuteronomy 6:5-7a Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. (know Jesus)
* Proverbs 18:9 One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. (wise and responsible, work ethic)
* Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (know Jesus)
* Matthew 25:21 "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things." (work ethic)
* Ephesians 4:32a Be kind and compassionate to one another. (service and kindness)
* James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (wise and responsible)
I will know that I'm a successful homemaker when -
* My house is tidy and clean
* My family is well fed and clothed appropriately, within our financial means
* Our money is managed wisely
* People know they are welcome and feel comfortable in our home
Homemaker verses -
* Proverbs 18:9 One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. (tidy and clean, fed and clothed, money management)
* Proverbs 31:27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (tidy and clean, fed and clothed, money management)
* Malachi 3:10a Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse. (money management)
* Acts 20:35b It is more blessed to give than to receive. (money management)
* Romans 12:13b Practice hospitality. (welcome and comfortable)
One more thought before I wrap this up. You may have noticed that my indicators of success as a mom didn't have much to do with my childrens' behavior. Many moms will say they'll know they were a good mom when they're kids have grown into godly, responsible members of society. The problem with that is those moms have forgotten the element of their child's will. There are no guarantees in parenting, which is why there are some lousy parents with great kids and some great parents with lousy kids. All I can do is give my kids the skills and knowledge they need. What they do with the skills and knowledge will determine their success, not mine.
And now I'm off to read your definitions of success.
I'm so thankful to Sharon for asking me how I define success as a wife, mom, and homemaker. I spend so much time feeling like a failure, but one can't fail unless there is a standard to strive for in the first place. I've never really defined what that standard is, what success looks like to me, but I constantly feel like I don't measure up. It's just about killed me, but I haven't read the responses to the questions yet. I didn't want them to sway my own answer. I'm sure the comments will be good, yet varied. Some philosophical, others practical. I'll read them as soon as I finish typing this up.
As I wrote yesterday, I've realized how much I determine my success or failure by how much of my "to do" lists of marriage, parenting, and homemaking I get accomplished. I told someone today that unless my house is sparkling clean and all projects are completed, my kids always obey immediately and no bickering is ever heard, I never have to deal with a behavioral issue with a child more than once, and our marriage is filled with endless and fascinating conversations, constant and phenomenal sex, and plenty of fun dates, then I feel like I'm failing. It's like I'm trying to keep so many plates spinning at once and it's just overwhelming. What do you do when you're spinning 20 plates and seven of them are starting to fall? Try to keep them all barely going? Let some crash and work to make the others spin well?
I've spent the last two days thinking, reading, and praying about this issue. I'll share my definitions in just a second. I don't think my answers are "right". They're simply the things that would be indicators to me that I was successful as a wife, mom, and homemaker. And I've decided what to do about those seven falling plates. I'm going to work on one at a time. I won't completely blow off the other six, but I'm going to work on being more realistic about what my abilities are, both as an individual (my personality, weaknesses, etc) and as someone in this particular season of life (at home with three young kids, homeschooling, etc). I'm going to work on knowing my limits, knowing when to keep working on something and when to just chill out.
For the record, I don't think I'm currently failing in each of the following areas that are my personal indicators of success. They are just my goals. I've also included some verses that came to mind as I thought through all of this.
So, here we go.
I will know that I'm successful as a wife when -
* Tim and I are good friends who enjoy and desire each other's company
* Tim and I have a sex life that is satisfying for both of us
* Tim feels respected and appreciated
* Tim knows I pray for him regularly
* Tim knows I love him unconditionally
Wife verses -
* Proverbs 31:11-12 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (respected and appreciated)
* Song of Songs 5:16b This is my lover, this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. (good friends)
* I Corinthians 7:4-5 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time so that you may devote yourself to prayer. (sex life)
* Ephesians 5:33b And the wife must respect her husband. (respected and appreciated)
* James 5:16b The prayer of a righteous man (or woman, as the case may be) is powerful and effective. (prayer)
I will know that I'm a successful as a mom when -
* My kids know who Jesus is and how much he loves them
* My kids have the skills to make wise and responsible decisions
* My kids have been taught and shown how to serve and be kind to others
* My kids understand what a good work ethic is
* My kids know I love them unconditionally
Mom verses -
* Deuteronomy 6:5-7a Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. (know Jesus)
* Proverbs 18:9 One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. (wise and responsible, work ethic)
* Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (know Jesus)
* Matthew 25:21 "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things." (work ethic)
* Ephesians 4:32a Be kind and compassionate to one another. (service and kindness)
* James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (wise and responsible)
I will know that I'm a successful homemaker when -
* My house is tidy and clean
* My family is well fed and clothed appropriately, within our financial means
* Our money is managed wisely
* People know they are welcome and feel comfortable in our home
Homemaker verses -
* Proverbs 18:9 One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. (tidy and clean, fed and clothed, money management)
* Proverbs 31:27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (tidy and clean, fed and clothed, money management)
* Malachi 3:10a Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse. (money management)
* Acts 20:35b It is more blessed to give than to receive. (money management)
* Romans 12:13b Practice hospitality. (welcome and comfortable)
One more thought before I wrap this up. You may have noticed that my indicators of success as a mom didn't have much to do with my childrens' behavior. Many moms will say they'll know they were a good mom when they're kids have grown into godly, responsible members of society. The problem with that is those moms have forgotten the element of their child's will. There are no guarantees in parenting, which is why there are some lousy parents with great kids and some great parents with lousy kids. All I can do is give my kids the skills and knowledge they need. What they do with the skills and knowledge will determine their success, not mine.
And now I'm off to read your definitions of success.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
SUCCESS - MY QUESTIONS
FYI - I'm part of two forums and asked the women there to define success as a wife, mom, and homemaker on the same day I posted about it here. They have given me permission to share their answers. I've done that by posting them as comments "from a forum friend". Each number represents a different person, not the same person continually commenting. And now back to the original post.
I'm going to be totally transparent here.
I struggle daily, 24/7, with feeling like a failure as a wife, mom, and homemaker. It's not the occasional bad day or rough week. It's constant, it's overwhelming, and it's been going on for a couple years.
As I shared this struggle with some women the other day, one of them asked me how I would define success as a wife, mom, and homemaker. I've been thinking on that since she asked and writing down the things that come to mind. It's been good for me to distinguish between the things I think or know are my duties, my "to do" list in those areas, and the way I would actually define success. I've realized that I determine my success or failure by whether or not I can cross everything off the "to do" list.
I'm going to spend some more time today thinking on my definition of a successful wife, mom, and homemaker and tomorrow I'll share what I come up with.
What I want is for you to tell me how you would define success in any or all of those three areas.
What I don't want is sympathy or a "you're a great mom". I just want to tackle this from a practical standpoint, not an emotional one. Okey dokey, artichokey?
I'm going to be totally transparent here.
I struggle daily, 24/7, with feeling like a failure as a wife, mom, and homemaker. It's not the occasional bad day or rough week. It's constant, it's overwhelming, and it's been going on for a couple years.
As I shared this struggle with some women the other day, one of them asked me how I would define success as a wife, mom, and homemaker. I've been thinking on that since she asked and writing down the things that come to mind. It's been good for me to distinguish between the things I think or know are my duties, my "to do" list in those areas, and the way I would actually define success. I've realized that I determine my success or failure by whether or not I can cross everything off the "to do" list.
I'm going to spend some more time today thinking on my definition of a successful wife, mom, and homemaker and tomorrow I'll share what I come up with.
What I want is for you to tell me how you would define success in any or all of those three areas.
What I don't want is sympathy or a "you're a great mom". I just want to tackle this from a practical standpoint, not an emotional one. Okey dokey, artichokey?
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