Tyler's been pulling himself up on everything for a couple weeks and over the last two days he's had a few split second moments of standing on his own. My prediction is we'll have another 10 month old walker, if not a younger one.
Friday, August 31, 2012
VERTICAL
Tyler's been pulling himself up on everything for a couple weeks and over the last two days he's had a few split second moments of standing on his own. My prediction is we'll have another 10 month old walker, if not a younger one.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
8/30/12 THANKFUL THURSDAY
I'm thankful that swapping nursery shifts last night allowed me to visit with two people I haven't hung out with in a long time.
What's something that you're thankful for?
What's something that you're thankful for?
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
THE PEACEMAKER #3
This is the third and final post about a book I recently read called The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict.
Now let's tackle the last of the quotes that stood out to me. The last part of the book talks a lot about forgiveness and was the most challenging part of the book for me. Well, maybe it was a tie with the parts about choosing not to think on the negatives about the person or situation or to speak things that aren't conducive to reconciling. I definitely have some room for growth in those areas!
p. 186, A general principle taught in Matthew 18 is that we should try to keep the circle of people involved in a conflict as small as possible for as long as possible. If we can resolve a dispute personally and privately, we should do so. But if we cannot settle matters on our own, we should seek help from other people, expanding the circle only as much as necessary to bring about repentance and reconciliation.
p. 202, (a discussion with a man whose wife had cheated on him) "Rick, imagine that you had just confessed a serious sin to God, and for the first time in your life he spoke to you audibly: 'I forgive you, Rick, but I can't ever be close to you again." How would you feel?"
After an awkward pause, he replied, "I guess I'd feel like God hadn't really forgiven me."
"But isn't that the way you're forgiving Pam?" I asked.
Rick looked at the floor, wrestling for an answer.
In a softer voice, I continued, "Imagine instead that God said, 'Rick, I forgive you. I promise never to think about your sin again or to dwell on it or brood over it. I promise never to bring it up and use it against you. I promise not to talk to others about it. And I promise not to let this sin stand between us or hinder our relationship.'"
(Please note that this couple was reconciled, though they went through extensive counseling to deal with the core of their marital problems. Rick telling Pam he forgave her in the way described here was simply the first step toward that reconciliation. I mention that just to make sure no one thinks the author was implying that genuine forgiveness is all that's necessary for a couple to work through an affair. )
p. 204, Perhaps you have said or thought the same thing Rick said to his wife: "I forgive you - I just can't be close to you again." Think of this statement in light of the prayer you have prayed many times, "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matt. 6:12). What would happen if God forgave you in exactly the same way you are forgiving others at this time? / Like Rick, you probably wouldn't feel forgiven.
p. 208, As someone once said, "Unforgiveness is the poison we drink, hoping others will die."
p. 209, This is exactly what we must do if we are to forgive as the Lord forgives us: We must release the person who has wronged us from the penalty of being separated from us. We must not hold wrongs against others, not think about the wrongs, and not punish others for them. Therefore, forgiveness may be described as a decision to make four promises.
* I will not dwell on this incident.
* I will not bring this incident up again and use it against you.
* I will not talk to others about this incident.
* I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
p. 215, We may also withhold forgiveness because we want a guarantee that such an offense will never occur again. These attitudes and expectations are utterly inconsistent with the command to forgive as God forgave us. / Furthermore, just as God demands no guarantee from us regarding our future conduct, we have no right to make such a demand of others. / Forgiveness is based on repentance, not on guarantees. Therefore, once someone has expressed repentance for an action, we have no right to let our fears of the future delay forgiveness today.
p. 217, We take God's forgiveness for granted, while we stubbornly withhold our forgiveness from others. In effect, we behave as though others' sins against us are more serious than our sins against God.
p. 219, Although reconciliation can sometimes take place with little or no special effort, in most cases you will need to remember the saying, "If you are coasting, you must be going downhill." In other words, unless a deliberate effort is made to restore and strengthen a relationship, it will generally deteriorate.
p. 221, It is very difficult to simply stop thinking about an unpleasant experience. Instead, we must replace negative thoughts and memories with positive ones. This principle is especially helpful when trying to keep the first promise of forgiveness. Every time you begin to dwell on or brood over what someone has done, ask for God's help and deliberately pray for that person or think of something about the offender that is "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy." At first you may struggle to come up with even one positive thought, but after you find one good thought or memory, others should come more easily. If you cannot think of a single good thing about the person you are trying to forgive, then use thankful thoughts about God and his work in this situation to replace unpleasant memories (see Phil. 4:4-7).
p. 249, The more intense a dispute becomes, the more important it is to control your tongue (Rom. 12:14). When you are involved in a prolonged conflict, you may be sorely tempted to indulge in gossip, slander, and reckless words, especially if your opponent is saying reckless things about you. But if you react with harsh words or gossip, you will only make matters worse. Even if your opponent speaks maliciously against you or to you, do not respond in kind. Instead, make every effort to breathe grace by saying only what is both true and helpful, speaking well of your opponent whenever possible, and using kinds and gracious language. As Peter wrote, "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (I Peter 3:9, 1 Cor 4:12-13).
Update: If you would like to read all three posts about this book, then here are the links. One. Two. Three.
Now let's tackle the last of the quotes that stood out to me. The last part of the book talks a lot about forgiveness and was the most challenging part of the book for me. Well, maybe it was a tie with the parts about choosing not to think on the negatives about the person or situation or to speak things that aren't conducive to reconciling. I definitely have some room for growth in those areas!
p. 186, A general principle taught in Matthew 18 is that we should try to keep the circle of people involved in a conflict as small as possible for as long as possible. If we can resolve a dispute personally and privately, we should do so. But if we cannot settle matters on our own, we should seek help from other people, expanding the circle only as much as necessary to bring about repentance and reconciliation.
p. 202, (a discussion with a man whose wife had cheated on him) "Rick, imagine that you had just confessed a serious sin to God, and for the first time in your life he spoke to you audibly: 'I forgive you, Rick, but I can't ever be close to you again." How would you feel?"
After an awkward pause, he replied, "I guess I'd feel like God hadn't really forgiven me."
"But isn't that the way you're forgiving Pam?" I asked.
Rick looked at the floor, wrestling for an answer.
In a softer voice, I continued, "Imagine instead that God said, 'Rick, I forgive you. I promise never to think about your sin again or to dwell on it or brood over it. I promise never to bring it up and use it against you. I promise not to talk to others about it. And I promise not to let this sin stand between us or hinder our relationship.'"
(Please note that this couple was reconciled, though they went through extensive counseling to deal with the core of their marital problems. Rick telling Pam he forgave her in the way described here was simply the first step toward that reconciliation. I mention that just to make sure no one thinks the author was implying that genuine forgiveness is all that's necessary for a couple to work through an affair. )
p. 204, Perhaps you have said or thought the same thing Rick said to his wife: "I forgive you - I just can't be close to you again." Think of this statement in light of the prayer you have prayed many times, "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matt. 6:12). What would happen if God forgave you in exactly the same way you are forgiving others at this time? / Like Rick, you probably wouldn't feel forgiven.
p. 208, As someone once said, "Unforgiveness is the poison we drink, hoping others will die."
p. 209, This is exactly what we must do if we are to forgive as the Lord forgives us: We must release the person who has wronged us from the penalty of being separated from us. We must not hold wrongs against others, not think about the wrongs, and not punish others for them. Therefore, forgiveness may be described as a decision to make four promises.
* I will not dwell on this incident.
* I will not bring this incident up again and use it against you.
* I will not talk to others about this incident.
* I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
p. 215, We may also withhold forgiveness because we want a guarantee that such an offense will never occur again. These attitudes and expectations are utterly inconsistent with the command to forgive as God forgave us. / Furthermore, just as God demands no guarantee from us regarding our future conduct, we have no right to make such a demand of others. / Forgiveness is based on repentance, not on guarantees. Therefore, once someone has expressed repentance for an action, we have no right to let our fears of the future delay forgiveness today.
p. 217, We take God's forgiveness for granted, while we stubbornly withhold our forgiveness from others. In effect, we behave as though others' sins against us are more serious than our sins against God.
p. 219, Although reconciliation can sometimes take place with little or no special effort, in most cases you will need to remember the saying, "If you are coasting, you must be going downhill." In other words, unless a deliberate effort is made to restore and strengthen a relationship, it will generally deteriorate.
p. 221, It is very difficult to simply stop thinking about an unpleasant experience. Instead, we must replace negative thoughts and memories with positive ones. This principle is especially helpful when trying to keep the first promise of forgiveness. Every time you begin to dwell on or brood over what someone has done, ask for God's help and deliberately pray for that person or think of something about the offender that is "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy." At first you may struggle to come up with even one positive thought, but after you find one good thought or memory, others should come more easily. If you cannot think of a single good thing about the person you are trying to forgive, then use thankful thoughts about God and his work in this situation to replace unpleasant memories (see Phil. 4:4-7).
p. 249, The more intense a dispute becomes, the more important it is to control your tongue (Rom. 12:14). When you are involved in a prolonged conflict, you may be sorely tempted to indulge in gossip, slander, and reckless words, especially if your opponent is saying reckless things about you. But if you react with harsh words or gossip, you will only make matters worse. Even if your opponent speaks maliciously against you or to you, do not respond in kind. Instead, make every effort to breathe grace by saying only what is both true and helpful, speaking well of your opponent whenever possible, and using kinds and gracious language. As Peter wrote, "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (I Peter 3:9, 1 Cor 4:12-13).
Update: If you would like to read all three posts about this book, then here are the links. One. Two. Three.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
THE PEACEMAKER #2
Ok, let's jump into the second list of quotes.
Actually, I want to give you the chapter titles so that you can see the topics that are covered. My quotes are more about general ideas than about the specific instruction he gives, but the book walks you through each step toward conflict resolution and has plenty of real life examples from a variety of situations.
Part 1 - Glorify God
1. Conflict Provides Opportunities
2. Live at Peace
3. Trust in the Lord and Do Good
Part 2 - Get the Log Out of Your Eye
4. Is This Really Worth Fighting Over?
5. Conflict Starts in the Heart
6. Confession Brings Freedom
Part 3 - Gently Restore
7. Just Between the Two of You
8. Speak the Truth in Love
9. Take One or Two Others Along
Part 4 - Go and Be Reconciled
10. Forgive as God Forgave You
11. Look Also to the Interests of Others
12. Overcome Evil with Good
Ok, now I'll hit you with some more quotes I liked.
p. 105, (a list of questions that show where your heart is)
* What am I preoccupied with? What is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night?
* How would I answer the question: "If only ____, then I would be happy, fulfilled, and secure"?
* What do I want to preserve or to avoid at all costs?
* Where do I put my trust?
* What do I fear?
* When a certain desire is not met, do I feel frustration, anxiety, resentment, bitterness, anger, or depression?
* Is there something I desire so much that I'm willing to disappoint or hurt others in order to have it?
p. 106, (He lashed out at his kids after a rough week of parenting) Instead, I was being ruled by my desire for peace and quiet for the sake of my own comfort and convenience. I had let a good desire grow into a consuming demand, and I was serving this idol instead of my God.
p. 107, We cross the line, however, when we begin to sinfully judge others, which is characterized by a feeling of superiority, indignation, condemnation, bitterness, or resentment. Sinful judging often involves speculating on others' motives. Most of all, it reveals the absence of genuine love and concern toward them.
p. 107-108, Expectations are not inherently bad. It is good to hope for the best in others, and it is reasonable to anticipate receiving understanding and support from those who are closest to us.
But if we are not careful, these expectations can become conditions and standards that we use to judge others. Instead of giving people room for independence, disagreement, or failure, we rigidly impose our expectations on them. In effect, we expect them to give allegiance to our idols. When they refuse to do so, we condemn them in our hearts and with our words, and our conflicts with them take on a heightened intensity.
p. 115, But no matter how good or legitimate a desire may look on the surface, if we have gotten to the point where we cannot be content, fulfilled, or secure unless we have it, that desire has evolved into an idol that has diverted our love and trust from God.
p. 145, As these (he listed John 4:1-8, Matt. 21:33-45, Luke 15, Acts 17:22-31, and Esther 5-7 in the previous paragraph) and many similar passages indicate, we need to let go of the idea that showing someone his fault always requires direct confrontation. Although that approach will be appropriate in some situations, we should never do it automatically. Instead, we should ask God to help us discern the most winsome and effective way to approach a particular person at a particular time and to open the way for genuine reconciliation.
p. 165, The year before I began making the latest changes to this book, I realized that I could not consistently weave the gospel into my conversations with others until the gospel was woven deeply into my own heart. / I began praying for God to give me a major heart change, to make the gospel central to everything I think, say, and do. / Learn to delight in reading about, meditating on, and rejoicing in Jesus' completed work on the cross.
p. 165, Good listening is particularly important for a peacemaker. It improves your ability to understand others, it shows that you realize you don't have all the answers, and it tells the other person that you value his or her thoughts and opinions. Even if you cannot agree with everything others say or do, your willingness to listen demonstrates respect and shows that you are trying to understand their perspective.
p. 175, It is not good enough to communicate so that you can be understood. You should communicate so clearly that you cannot be misunderstood.
Update: If you would like to read all three posts about this book, then here are the links. One. Two. Three.
Actually, I want to give you the chapter titles so that you can see the topics that are covered. My quotes are more about general ideas than about the specific instruction he gives, but the book walks you through each step toward conflict resolution and has plenty of real life examples from a variety of situations.
Part 1 - Glorify God
1. Conflict Provides Opportunities
2. Live at Peace
3. Trust in the Lord and Do Good
Part 2 - Get the Log Out of Your Eye
4. Is This Really Worth Fighting Over?
5. Conflict Starts in the Heart
6. Confession Brings Freedom
Part 3 - Gently Restore
7. Just Between the Two of You
8. Speak the Truth in Love
9. Take One or Two Others Along
Part 4 - Go and Be Reconciled
10. Forgive as God Forgave You
11. Look Also to the Interests of Others
12. Overcome Evil with Good
Ok, now I'll hit you with some more quotes I liked.
p. 105, (a list of questions that show where your heart is)
* What am I preoccupied with? What is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night?
* How would I answer the question: "If only ____, then I would be happy, fulfilled, and secure"?
* What do I want to preserve or to avoid at all costs?
* Where do I put my trust?
* What do I fear?
* When a certain desire is not met, do I feel frustration, anxiety, resentment, bitterness, anger, or depression?
* Is there something I desire so much that I'm willing to disappoint or hurt others in order to have it?
p. 106, (He lashed out at his kids after a rough week of parenting) Instead, I was being ruled by my desire for peace and quiet for the sake of my own comfort and convenience. I had let a good desire grow into a consuming demand, and I was serving this idol instead of my God.
p. 107, We cross the line, however, when we begin to sinfully judge others, which is characterized by a feeling of superiority, indignation, condemnation, bitterness, or resentment. Sinful judging often involves speculating on others' motives. Most of all, it reveals the absence of genuine love and concern toward them.
p. 107-108, Expectations are not inherently bad. It is good to hope for the best in others, and it is reasonable to anticipate receiving understanding and support from those who are closest to us.
But if we are not careful, these expectations can become conditions and standards that we use to judge others. Instead of giving people room for independence, disagreement, or failure, we rigidly impose our expectations on them. In effect, we expect them to give allegiance to our idols. When they refuse to do so, we condemn them in our hearts and with our words, and our conflicts with them take on a heightened intensity.
p. 115, But no matter how good or legitimate a desire may look on the surface, if we have gotten to the point where we cannot be content, fulfilled, or secure unless we have it, that desire has evolved into an idol that has diverted our love and trust from God.
p. 145, As these (he listed John 4:1-8, Matt. 21:33-45, Luke 15, Acts 17:22-31, and Esther 5-7 in the previous paragraph) and many similar passages indicate, we need to let go of the idea that showing someone his fault always requires direct confrontation. Although that approach will be appropriate in some situations, we should never do it automatically. Instead, we should ask God to help us discern the most winsome and effective way to approach a particular person at a particular time and to open the way for genuine reconciliation.
p. 165, The year before I began making the latest changes to this book, I realized that I could not consistently weave the gospel into my conversations with others until the gospel was woven deeply into my own heart. / I began praying for God to give me a major heart change, to make the gospel central to everything I think, say, and do. / Learn to delight in reading about, meditating on, and rejoicing in Jesus' completed work on the cross.
p. 165, Good listening is particularly important for a peacemaker. It improves your ability to understand others, it shows that you realize you don't have all the answers, and it tells the other person that you value his or her thoughts and opinions. Even if you cannot agree with everything others say or do, your willingness to listen demonstrates respect and shows that you are trying to understand their perspective.
p. 175, It is not good enough to communicate so that you can be understood. You should communicate so clearly that you cannot be misunderstood.
Update: If you would like to read all three posts about this book, then here are the links. One. Two. Three.
Monday, August 27, 2012
THE PEACEMAKER #1
I have an ongoing list of books I want to read and recently checked out one that had been on the list a long time. I don't even remember where I heard about it, but it was an excellent read.
I have turned into a bitter yeller when it comes to conflict in our home, which is completely unacceptable, and this book was helpful in changing my perspective. I rarely buy books, but I may actually get a copy of this for when I need a little attitude adjustment or some practical tips in dealing with a conflict.
The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, by Ken Sande
It's obviously written from a Christian perspective with a gazillion Bible verses referenced to support the things it's teaching, but the information would be just as valuable to a non-Christian as to a Christian. I'd highly encourage everyone to read it, download it, or get it on CD. Conflict is inevitable when you interact with others, so anyone with a job, family, neighbor, church, team, club, etc. is bound to find something in this book they can put into practice. Good stuff!
I think I'm just going to list a bunch of quotes that stood out to me to give you an idea of what the book is like. There were a lot, though, so I'm going to spread them out over a few posts. Ready?
p. 22, I have found that people look at conflict in much the same way that my friends and I viewed that stream (he and his friends had to cross a deep, icy stream by jumping from rock to rock). To some, conflict is a hazard that threatens to sweep them off their feet and leave them bruised and hurting. To others, it is an obstacle that they should conquer quickly and firmly, regardless of the consequences. But some people have learned that conflict is an opportunity to solve common problems in a way that honors God and offers benefits to those involved.
p. 33, Every time you encounter a conflict, you will inevitably show what you really think of God. If you want to show that you love him "with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" (Matt. 22:37), then ask him to help you trust , obey, imitate, and acknowledge him, especially when it is difficult to do so.
p. 34, It is important to realize that if you do not glorify God when you are involved in a conflict, you will inevitably glorify someone or something else. By your actions you will show either that you have a big God or that you have a big self and big problems. To put it another way, if you do not focus on God, you will inevitably focus on yourself and your will, or on other people and the threat of their wills.
p. 47, When peace and unity characterize your relationships with other people, you show that you are God's child and that he is present and working in your life (Matt. 5:9). The converse is also true: When your life is filled with unresolved conflict and broken relationships, you will have little success in sharing the good news about Jesus' saving work on the cross.
p. 48, As death drew near, the Lord focused on a single concept he knew to be of paramount importance for all those who would believe in him. He did not pray that his followers would always be happy, that they would never suffer, or that their rights would always be defended. Jesus prayed that his followers would get along with one another. This was so important to him that he tied his reputation and the credibility of his message to how well his followers would display unity and oneness. Read his prayer (it's found in John 17:20-23) once more and think about how important unity is to him. Is it equally important to you?
p. 54, (quoting Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia) I think we are too ready today to seek vindication and vengeance through adversary proceedings rather than peace through mediation.
p. 68, (quoting Elisabeth Elliot, who, for those unfamiliar with her, was a widow of one of the four men murdered by Aucas in the 1950s) God is God. I dethrone him in my heart if I demand that he act in ways that satisfy my idea of justice.
p. 102, Conflict always begins with some kind of desire. / But what if the other person persistently fails to satisfy your desire? / On the one hand, you can trust God and seek your fulfillment in him (Ps. 73:25). You can ask him to help you to continue to grow and mature no matter what the other person does (James 1:2-4). And you can continue to love the person who is blocking your desire, pray for God's sanctifying work in his or her life, and wait for the Lord to open the door for progress at a later time (I John 4:19-21, Luke 6:27). If you choose this course, God promises to bless you and, not matter what the other person does, to use your difficult situation to conform you to the likeness of Christ (Romans 8:28-29).
But there is another course we often follow. We keep fighting to achieve our desire, dwelling on our disappointment, and allowing our desire and disappointment to control our lives. At the very least, this course results in self-pity and bitterness toward those who stand in our way. At worse, it utterly destroys important relationships and draws us away from God.
We'll wrap up this post here, but I'll post more quotes later.
Update: If you would like to read all three posts about this book, then here are the links. One. Two. Three.
I have turned into a bitter yeller when it comes to conflict in our home, which is completely unacceptable, and this book was helpful in changing my perspective. I rarely buy books, but I may actually get a copy of this for when I need a little attitude adjustment or some practical tips in dealing with a conflict.
The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, by Ken Sande
It's obviously written from a Christian perspective with a gazillion Bible verses referenced to support the things it's teaching, but the information would be just as valuable to a non-Christian as to a Christian. I'd highly encourage everyone to read it, download it, or get it on CD. Conflict is inevitable when you interact with others, so anyone with a job, family, neighbor, church, team, club, etc. is bound to find something in this book they can put into practice. Good stuff!
I think I'm just going to list a bunch of quotes that stood out to me to give you an idea of what the book is like. There were a lot, though, so I'm going to spread them out over a few posts. Ready?
p. 22, I have found that people look at conflict in much the same way that my friends and I viewed that stream (he and his friends had to cross a deep, icy stream by jumping from rock to rock). To some, conflict is a hazard that threatens to sweep them off their feet and leave them bruised and hurting. To others, it is an obstacle that they should conquer quickly and firmly, regardless of the consequences. But some people have learned that conflict is an opportunity to solve common problems in a way that honors God and offers benefits to those involved.
p. 33, Every time you encounter a conflict, you will inevitably show what you really think of God. If you want to show that you love him "with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" (Matt. 22:37), then ask him to help you trust , obey, imitate, and acknowledge him, especially when it is difficult to do so.
p. 34, It is important to realize that if you do not glorify God when you are involved in a conflict, you will inevitably glorify someone or something else. By your actions you will show either that you have a big God or that you have a big self and big problems. To put it another way, if you do not focus on God, you will inevitably focus on yourself and your will, or on other people and the threat of their wills.
p. 47, When peace and unity characterize your relationships with other people, you show that you are God's child and that he is present and working in your life (Matt. 5:9). The converse is also true: When your life is filled with unresolved conflict and broken relationships, you will have little success in sharing the good news about Jesus' saving work on the cross.
p. 48, As death drew near, the Lord focused on a single concept he knew to be of paramount importance for all those who would believe in him. He did not pray that his followers would always be happy, that they would never suffer, or that their rights would always be defended. Jesus prayed that his followers would get along with one another. This was so important to him that he tied his reputation and the credibility of his message to how well his followers would display unity and oneness. Read his prayer (it's found in John 17:20-23) once more and think about how important unity is to him. Is it equally important to you?
p. 54, (quoting Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia) I think we are too ready today to seek vindication and vengeance through adversary proceedings rather than peace through mediation.
p. 68, (quoting Elisabeth Elliot, who, for those unfamiliar with her, was a widow of one of the four men murdered by Aucas in the 1950s) God is God. I dethrone him in my heart if I demand that he act in ways that satisfy my idea of justice.
p. 102, Conflict always begins with some kind of desire. / But what if the other person persistently fails to satisfy your desire? / On the one hand, you can trust God and seek your fulfillment in him (Ps. 73:25). You can ask him to help you to continue to grow and mature no matter what the other person does (James 1:2-4). And you can continue to love the person who is blocking your desire, pray for God's sanctifying work in his or her life, and wait for the Lord to open the door for progress at a later time (I John 4:19-21, Luke 6:27). If you choose this course, God promises to bless you and, not matter what the other person does, to use your difficult situation to conform you to the likeness of Christ (Romans 8:28-29).
But there is another course we often follow. We keep fighting to achieve our desire, dwelling on our disappointment, and allowing our desire and disappointment to control our lives. At the very least, this course results in self-pity and bitterness toward those who stand in our way. At worse, it utterly destroys important relationships and draws us away from God.
We'll wrap up this post here, but I'll post more quotes later.
Update: If you would like to read all three posts about this book, then here are the links. One. Two. Three.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
I LOVE OUR HOUSE #6
Devon and Naomi headed to the backyard a few nights ago to gather part of our dinner. Here's what they brought in.
I love that our home came with everbearing strawberries, everbearing and thornless raspberries, and thornless blackberries. We use them as oatmeal toppings, make vinaigrette, throw them in smoothies, and just snack on them while we're outside. Yum!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
173.72 MILES OF FUN
25.64 miles - Our friend Carol had invited Naomi and I to lunch as a birthday gift for Naomi and yesterday was the big day. Naomi and I took off, picking up Carol on the way. The first thing Carol did when she got in the car was to give Naomi a beautiful scarf she had knit. Naomi put it on immediately, of course, then we headed to Lavender Bleu Tea Room.
The weather was beautiful and Naomi chose to have us sit outside. All the food and tea was delicious, but I think one of the best parts of the whole thing was the look on Naomi's face when her plate arrived with the "Little Ones Tea". Her eyes grew wide as she looked at all the miniature goodies laid before her. Highly impressed and with much emphasis she said, "Wow!" We chatted over our lunch for well over an hour, then spent some time browsing the gift shop before heading home.
Here's a picture of all three of us.
And one of the birthday girl with her new scarf on.
Isn't she looking grown up?!
25.64 miles - We headed back toward our homes, Carol and I chatting on the way to her house. As she got out of the car, Carol handed me a bag with some candy for Tim and the big boys, a charm for Naomi, and two little somethings for me. Sneaky lady! Naomi had said she wanted to be with Carol as we browsed the store, so I had wandered around other areas in order for Naomi to have Carol to herself for a bit. Turns out they were choosing little treats for everyone. Want to see what Carol gave me?
A magnet, which is now on the W magnetic board my sister made for me.
And a charm, which is now hanging on my W charm stand.
The weather was beautiful and Naomi chose to have us sit outside. All the food and tea was delicious, but I think one of the best parts of the whole thing was the look on Naomi's face when her plate arrived with the "Little Ones Tea". Her eyes grew wide as she looked at all the miniature goodies laid before her. Highly impressed and with much emphasis she said, "Wow!" We chatted over our lunch for well over an hour, then spent some time browsing the gift shop before heading home.
Here's a picture of all three of us.
And one of the birthday girl with her new scarf on.
Isn't she looking grown up?!
25.64 miles - We headed back toward our homes, Carol and I chatting on the way to her house. As she got out of the car, Carol handed me a bag with some candy for Tim and the big boys, a charm for Naomi, and two little somethings for me. Sneaky lady! Naomi had said she wanted to be with Carol as we browsed the store, so I had wandered around other areas in order for Naomi to have Carol to herself for a bit. Turns out they were choosing little treats for everyone. Want to see what Carol gave me?
A magnet, which is now on the W magnetic board my sister made for me.
And a charm, which is now hanging on my W charm stand.
I love Ws. And I love Carol. But I loved Carol before she gave me Ws.
61.24 miles - Tim left for an interview the minute we returned from our lunch date, then I left for a slumber party the minute he returned from his interview. I hopped back in the car for a trip to Battle Ground. There was crazy Friday afternoon traffic, so I averaged 30 mph for the whole trip, but I turned off the radio and just enjoyed the silence. I may or may not have missed an exit near the end of my trip. If I had missed one, though, then it would have only added five minutes of travel time and one crass, yet very helpful, gas station employee to the trip. Hypothetically, of course.
Friday night was spent with five other ladies and one of my favorite babies. I love time with these girls - time spent eating and laughing, talking about superficial and serious things, then eating and laughing some more. We stayed up til about 1:30 Saturday morning, then hit the sack.
This morning we woke up and lounged around the house all morning. I think it was about 1:00 by the time everyone had eaten breakfast and gotten dressed. It was such a relaxing morning!
One of the things I learned this morning, which I feel a moral obligation to share with you, is that Pepperidge Farm's French Vanilla Pirouettes go really well with Thea's fruit salsa, which is a blended combo of strawberries, apples (I think she uses Pink Ladies), and kiwis. This is important information that I will be sure to use for the rest of my life. Don't know what Pirouettes are? Here's a visual.
One of our group had to leave at 1:00, but the rest of us went to The Catalyst a little later so that another member of the group could get her nose pierced. Unfortunately, we forgot to take a group picture when we were all at the house, but we did manage to snap one on the piercing outing, though we were missing one person.
Once the nose ring mission was accomplished we headed back to the house for more eating, laughing, and talking.
61.24 miles - A couple of the gals chose to stay one more night, but two of us needed to head back to our own homes this evening. So I hopped back in the car for a nice drive home with the windows down, radio off, and a smile on my face.
Friday, August 24, 2012
A WEEKEND AWAY
Two boys and a girl jumping into the pool together.
One boy posing in the new swim duds one of his Sonlight aunts sent him.
One boy having his first pool experience.
One girl supervising Papa's online activity.
One baby in the water with his mom.
One boy with his unfinished tower.
One boy with his finished tower.
One girl coloring with Papa.
One boy drinking a Slurpee Papa bought for him after taking him to his second theater experience, both of which were 3D movies with Papa.
One girl drinking a Slurpee Papa bought for her after taking her to her first theater experience, a 3D movie.
One boy drinking a Slurpee Papa bought for him after taking him to his second theater experience, though he has no recollection of his first experience.
One boy resting in the shade with his dad.
One family looking happy.
One family looking silly.
One girl standing on Papa's shoulders.
Three kids being silly in the hot tub.
One daughter posing with her father.
Four kids reading with Papa before church.
Two posts from Papa with lots more pictures.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
8/23/12 THANKFUL THURSDAY
I'm thankful that I don't have to wash our clothes by hand.
What's something that you're thankful for?
What's something that you're thankful for?
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
AND SHE'S OFF!
Tim is the parent in charge of teaching little Ws how to ride bikes, so he took Naomi out last night for a little spin in a nearby parking lot. Check it out! And pretend like her helmet was put on right and that she wasn't galavanting around town in jammies.
I realize she didn't ride a long distance, but every single clip has her stopping to make sure the camera was still on her. Silly kid.
Time for a big, girly bike!
I realize she didn't ride a long distance, but every single clip has her stopping to make sure the camera was still on her. Silly kid.
Time for a big, girly bike!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
OF FACEBOOK POSTS & LIFE LESSONS
I've been thinking about the following Facebook posts a lot lately.
#1 - I can't believe this, but my husband is telling me to deny that we're married. He has to deal with some people he doesn't trust and is afraid they'll treat us better if they don't know we're married than if they do. So his solution is to have me lie. The worst part? He knows the lie could potentially get me into a situation where I'd have to become sexually involved with the other party to keep the lie believable.
#2 - My neighbor is a songwriter and most of his stuff ends up being sung in churches or performed by various Christian bands. The guy is often depressed, though, and seems to be frequently overwhelmed by the hard stuff going on in his life. A lot of his songs are real downers and I'm afraid it's going to negatively impact his career.
#3 - My wife and I haven't been been able to get pregnant. Her newest solution? Have me sleep with one of the gals who works for her and see if I can have a baby that way. Brilliant. Just brilliant.
#4 - I grew up in a fairly dysfunctional family. Lots of jealousy, resentment, etc. At one point some of my siblings were actually talking about killing me. That obviously didn't happen, but I was basically abandoned by them, then they lied to cover up how they'd treated me. Lots of crazy things happened to me over the years, but now I'm doing well, both personally and professionally. Here's the deal, though. I recently found out my family is having a very hard time making ends meet. I have the means to help them, but I'm not sure if and how to get involved.
#5 - A friend of mine recently had an affair with a local political figure. It was a one night stand, but she got pregnant. Mr. Political Figure freaked out and decided to have one of his underlings try to get my friend's husband killed. Not only did that plan succeed, but then he caught my grieving friend on the rebound and married her.
Truth be told, I haven't actually seen those posts. Facebook is so often used for sharing the details of various personal problems, though, that I can totally imagine those posts existing and I have been thinking about what kind of response they'd get. I've also wondered if there would be any difference in how my Christian and non-Christian friends would respond.
I think the husband in #1 would get called all kinds of names, the wife would be encouraged to cut her losses and leave him in a hurry, and there would be talk of emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and the dangers of controlling spouses.
I think anti-depressants would be suggested for the guy in #2, whether for the long-term or temporarily.
I think the character of the wife in #3 would get called into question, she'd be harshly criticized, and the husband would be told her willingness to break their vows would give him an out if he wanted to leave her.
I think the guy in #4 would hear a lot about setting healthy boundaries, not enabling bad behavior, and not initiating contact with people who were emotionally abusive, put him in physical danger, and ignored his existence for years.
I think the guy in #5 would get called names, snarky comments would be made about whatever political party he represented, justice would be called for in regards to the murder, and people would want an intervention staged for the friend who is being manipulated and used by the political figure.
Regardless of whether or not all those responses would be appropriate, they'd all be understandable. Right?
Now consider this.
The husband in #1 is Abraham. (Genesis 12 & 20 ... yep, he did that twice)
The songwriter in #2 is David. (Psalm)
The wife in #3 is Sarah. (Genesis 16)
The successful man in #4 is Joseph. (Genesis 37-47)
The political figure in #5 is David. (2 Samuel 11)
These people include those in the lineage of Jesus, the author of the verses so many of us turn to when we're discouraged, those who were considered people of great faith, one who was called a man after God's own heart, another who saved a whole nation from starving, and the parents of Solomon, said to be the wisest man who ever lived.
Now, before anyone gets defensive, let me say that I'm not saying the good things about us justify or excuse the bad. I'm also not pointing fingers at anyone who's sought meds for depression, divorced their spouse, or made really foolish, selfish, and/or dangerous choices. I've had times of struggling with depression to the point of seeking medical attention, our marriage has had seasons where one or both of us have been ready to bail, and there's always some sort of conflict in our families. There are so many factors involved in those types of situations and we'll never fully understand someone else's situation, so I'm not even going to pretend to know what the right thing is for someone else to do.
Here's what I do want, though, the thing I've been doing a lot of lately.
I want us to consider what we may be sacrificing when we choose to get out of a hard situation. I want us to remember that the people we're inclined to judge, mock, and criticize are people God loves immensely and quite possibly ones he's going to use in huge ways, perhaps using them through the very thing we're so upset with them about. I want us to realize that growing pains are part of growth, that refinement comes through fire, and that the hard things in life can make us better when we choose to not let them make us bitter. I want us to take our responsibilities and commitments seriously. I want us to realize we may never know what amazingly good thing would have come if we'd chosen patience, grace, perseverance, commitment, and/or forgiveness in the midst of a situation no one would have blamed us for getting out of. I want us to remember that one person's side of the story is just that - only their side. I want us to remember that the choices we make today, for better or worse, will change lives for years to come, often in ways we'll never see. I want us to remember that God's grace is so much bigger than what any of us or the people in our lives could ever do wrong.
Does that mean we turn a blind eye to sin, choose not to seek help when we're struggling, or refuse to stand up for ourselves when we're being mistreated. Of course not. Use the brain God gave you, pray for wisdom in the decisions you need to make, be open to correction, and seek godly counsel when you can no longer think objectively about the situation.
Believe me when I say this post is not intended to be preachy. It's just what God's been trying to get through my thick skull lately, though I confess it's not sinking in as easily or quickly as I'd like it to.
I'm dealing with a situation right now that's hard. If I posted my side of the story, then everyone would say my thoughts on the matter are justified and wallow with me in a big pool of self-pity. But the truth is that I need to choose forgiveness and grace over anger and resentment. I need to choose relationships over being right. I need to remember that we don't all learn the same lessons at the same time. I need to believe that something good will come from the things that are hard. I need to remember that my bad attitude is just as bad as anything that anyone else in the situation has done. I need to focus less on what I think others should do and more on how I can learn and grow in this situation.
Easier said than done, isn't it?
#1 - I can't believe this, but my husband is telling me to deny that we're married. He has to deal with some people he doesn't trust and is afraid they'll treat us better if they don't know we're married than if they do. So his solution is to have me lie. The worst part? He knows the lie could potentially get me into a situation where I'd have to become sexually involved with the other party to keep the lie believable.
#2 - My neighbor is a songwriter and most of his stuff ends up being sung in churches or performed by various Christian bands. The guy is often depressed, though, and seems to be frequently overwhelmed by the hard stuff going on in his life. A lot of his songs are real downers and I'm afraid it's going to negatively impact his career.
#3 - My wife and I haven't been been able to get pregnant. Her newest solution? Have me sleep with one of the gals who works for her and see if I can have a baby that way. Brilliant. Just brilliant.
#4 - I grew up in a fairly dysfunctional family. Lots of jealousy, resentment, etc. At one point some of my siblings were actually talking about killing me. That obviously didn't happen, but I was basically abandoned by them, then they lied to cover up how they'd treated me. Lots of crazy things happened to me over the years, but now I'm doing well, both personally and professionally. Here's the deal, though. I recently found out my family is having a very hard time making ends meet. I have the means to help them, but I'm not sure if and how to get involved.
#5 - A friend of mine recently had an affair with a local political figure. It was a one night stand, but she got pregnant. Mr. Political Figure freaked out and decided to have one of his underlings try to get my friend's husband killed. Not only did that plan succeed, but then he caught my grieving friend on the rebound and married her.
Truth be told, I haven't actually seen those posts. Facebook is so often used for sharing the details of various personal problems, though, that I can totally imagine those posts existing and I have been thinking about what kind of response they'd get. I've also wondered if there would be any difference in how my Christian and non-Christian friends would respond.
I think the husband in #1 would get called all kinds of names, the wife would be encouraged to cut her losses and leave him in a hurry, and there would be talk of emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and the dangers of controlling spouses.
I think anti-depressants would be suggested for the guy in #2, whether for the long-term or temporarily.
I think the character of the wife in #3 would get called into question, she'd be harshly criticized, and the husband would be told her willingness to break their vows would give him an out if he wanted to leave her.
I think the guy in #4 would hear a lot about setting healthy boundaries, not enabling bad behavior, and not initiating contact with people who were emotionally abusive, put him in physical danger, and ignored his existence for years.
I think the guy in #5 would get called names, snarky comments would be made about whatever political party he represented, justice would be called for in regards to the murder, and people would want an intervention staged for the friend who is being manipulated and used by the political figure.
Regardless of whether or not all those responses would be appropriate, they'd all be understandable. Right?
Now consider this.
The husband in #1 is Abraham. (Genesis 12 & 20 ... yep, he did that twice)
The songwriter in #2 is David. (Psalm)
The wife in #3 is Sarah. (Genesis 16)
The successful man in #4 is Joseph. (Genesis 37-47)
The political figure in #5 is David. (2 Samuel 11)
These people include those in the lineage of Jesus, the author of the verses so many of us turn to when we're discouraged, those who were considered people of great faith, one who was called a man after God's own heart, another who saved a whole nation from starving, and the parents of Solomon, said to be the wisest man who ever lived.
Now, before anyone gets defensive, let me say that I'm not saying the good things about us justify or excuse the bad. I'm also not pointing fingers at anyone who's sought meds for depression, divorced their spouse, or made really foolish, selfish, and/or dangerous choices. I've had times of struggling with depression to the point of seeking medical attention, our marriage has had seasons where one or both of us have been ready to bail, and there's always some sort of conflict in our families. There are so many factors involved in those types of situations and we'll never fully understand someone else's situation, so I'm not even going to pretend to know what the right thing is for someone else to do.
Here's what I do want, though, the thing I've been doing a lot of lately.
I want us to consider what we may be sacrificing when we choose to get out of a hard situation. I want us to remember that the people we're inclined to judge, mock, and criticize are people God loves immensely and quite possibly ones he's going to use in huge ways, perhaps using them through the very thing we're so upset with them about. I want us to realize that growing pains are part of growth, that refinement comes through fire, and that the hard things in life can make us better when we choose to not let them make us bitter. I want us to take our responsibilities and commitments seriously. I want us to realize we may never know what amazingly good thing would have come if we'd chosen patience, grace, perseverance, commitment, and/or forgiveness in the midst of a situation no one would have blamed us for getting out of. I want us to remember that one person's side of the story is just that - only their side. I want us to remember that the choices we make today, for better or worse, will change lives for years to come, often in ways we'll never see. I want us to remember that God's grace is so much bigger than what any of us or the people in our lives could ever do wrong.
Does that mean we turn a blind eye to sin, choose not to seek help when we're struggling, or refuse to stand up for ourselves when we're being mistreated. Of course not. Use the brain God gave you, pray for wisdom in the decisions you need to make, be open to correction, and seek godly counsel when you can no longer think objectively about the situation.
Believe me when I say this post is not intended to be preachy. It's just what God's been trying to get through my thick skull lately, though I confess it's not sinking in as easily or quickly as I'd like it to.
I'm dealing with a situation right now that's hard. If I posted my side of the story, then everyone would say my thoughts on the matter are justified and wallow with me in a big pool of self-pity. But the truth is that I need to choose forgiveness and grace over anger and resentment. I need to choose relationships over being right. I need to remember that we don't all learn the same lessons at the same time. I need to believe that something good will come from the things that are hard. I need to remember that my bad attitude is just as bad as anything that anyone else in the situation has done. I need to focus less on what I think others should do and more on how I can learn and grow in this situation.
Easier said than done, isn't it?
Monday, August 20, 2012
MENU - SECOND HALF OF AUGUST 2012
We're already a few days into this menu and didn't try any new recipes over the first half of the month, so here goes.
BREAKFASTS
* fruit & doughnuts x1
* oatmeal with brown sugar, cinnamon, milk, raisins, huh-koe-pee milk, and energy mix as optional toppings x9
* breakfast at Dad's x2
* oatmeal pancakes (using leftovers from oatmeal mornings)
* egg & potato scramble (potatoes baked & chilled ahead of time)
* lemony sour cream muffins (skipped these last time)
DINNERS
* leftovers x2
* tacos x2
* grilled salmon (Tim's catch, from the freezer)/rice/peas & corn
* baked potatoes x2
* dinner at Dad's x2
* grilled hot dogs/potato wedges
* creamy white bean chicken chili/cornbread (from the freezer) (skipped this meal last time)
* honey curried chickpeas (crockpot)/rice/peas & corn
* quinoa salad with apples & almonds/carrots
* bowties with jarred marinara sauce/green salad
* rosemary white bean sandwiches/fruit
SNACK & DESSERTS
* produce
* popcorn
* carrots & black bean dip
* celery & peanut butter
* sugar cookies
* banana chocolate chip bars (half for the neighbors)
BREAKFASTS
* fruit & doughnuts x1
* oatmeal with brown sugar, cinnamon, milk, raisins, huh-koe-pee milk, and energy mix as optional toppings x9
* breakfast at Dad's x2
* oatmeal pancakes (using leftovers from oatmeal mornings)
* egg & potato scramble (potatoes baked & chilled ahead of time)
* lemony sour cream muffins (skipped these last time)
DINNERS
* leftovers x2
* tacos x2
* grilled salmon (Tim's catch, from the freezer)/rice/peas & corn
* baked potatoes x2
* dinner at Dad's x2
* grilled hot dogs/potato wedges
* creamy white bean chicken chili/cornbread (from the freezer) (skipped this meal last time)
* honey curried chickpeas (crockpot)/rice/peas & corn
* quinoa salad with apples & almonds/carrots
* bowties with jarred marinara sauce/green salad
* rosemary white bean sandwiches/fruit
SNACK & DESSERTS
* produce
* popcorn
* carrots & black bean dip
* celery & peanut butter
* sugar cookies
* banana chocolate chip bars (half for the neighbors)
Thursday, August 16, 2012
8/16/12 THANKFUL THURSDAY
I'm thankful that, for the first time ever, we live in a home with air conditioning.
What's something that you're thankful for?
What's something that you're thankful for?
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
GOLFING
Last year the little Ws all chipped in and bought Tim a gift certificate for 18 holes, but life was crazy and he didn't get to go before the weather got bad. It took a whole year, but he went golfing today and took Devon along with him to spot where balls landed.
Before they left, Devs walked into the kitchen wearing the same outfit he wore yesterday. A dirty outfit, nonetheless. I told him he needed to change into something clean because golf is a bit of a classy sport. He went to his room, then came out and asked, "Is this classy enough?"
Before they left, Devs walked into the kitchen wearing the same outfit he wore yesterday. A dirty outfit, nonetheless. I told him he needed to change into something clean because golf is a bit of a classy sport. He went to his room, then came out and asked, "Is this classy enough?"
Khaki shorts and a buttoned shirt. If you know our boys at all, then you know gym shorts and t-shirts are what they wear every single day of their lives. To put this outfit on of his own initiative was a big deal. Stylin' young man!
Tim golfed. Devon watched balls, ate blackberries, and listened to music.
Then Devon grabbed the camera and made a movie for his siblings.
One movie wasn't enough, so he made another one.
Then they finished the game, struck a pose by the golf course sign, and headed home.
Monday, August 13, 2012
NAOMI'S BIRTHDAY, PART TWO - 2012
This was the first year that we've had a birthday party on an actual birthday. Needless to say, the birthday girl had more than her share of junk food and sugar, which was exactly the kind of day she wanted.
The day started off, as per usual, with a doughnut date with Tim.
Not only did she enjoy this sugar coated treat, but the two of them, who happen to share a birthday, decided to sing a little tune for the camera.
They came home after their doughnut date and opened presents from family members. I'm sure she was grateful for all the gifts, but this gumball machine made her a bit giddy. If you recall her cake from last year, then you'll know she loves gum. A lot.
And a cash gift of one dollar per year of her life? Well, that was also pretty exciting.
The day started off, as per usual, with a doughnut date with Tim.
Not only did she enjoy this sugar coated treat, but the two of them, who happen to share a birthday, decided to sing a little tune for the camera.
They came home after their doughnut date and opened presents from family members. I'm sure she was grateful for all the gifts, but this gumball machine made her a bit giddy. If you recall her cake from last year, then you'll know she loves gum. A lot.
And a cash gift of one dollar per year of her life? Well, that was also pretty exciting.
A few friends and extended family members came over a bit later to help celebrate another year of life. Sidewalk chalk was drawn with, berries were picked, balloons were intentionally stepped on during a game, gifts were open, lunch was served, cake and creamsicles were eaten, and a fun time was had by the birthday girl.
In case you can't tell, that's a pig face. Naomi has a bit of an obsession with pigs, so that's what her cake was this year.
She and I took off for an ice cream date after naps and she opted for a cherry dilly bar. Bonus points for the fact that eating them makes it look like you're wearing lipstick.
Next on the agenda was the birthday outfit tradition. Having seen the boys ham it up a bit on their birthdays, she decided to goof off a bit herself.
She smiled sweetly.
She got silly.
She acted tough.
We'd eaten a lot of food already, but dinner eventually rolled around and Naomi's dinner of choice was Doritos, French fries, and a fruit salad with cherries, blueberries, bananas, kiwis, cantaloupe, and strawberries.
And that was that. Birthday traditions and a party all in one day!
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
8/9/12 THANKFUL THURSDAY
I'm thankful for a chance to visit with my pseudo-MIL today while she takes me out to a belated birthday lunch.
What's something that you're thankful for?
What's something that you're thankful for?
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
BOYS CAMP 2012
Tim and a few other guys head out with their sons for a few nights of camping each summer. This year they went to Honeyman and spent their time launching rockets, sliding and boarding down the dunes, looking at stars, going for hikes, geocaching, having campfires, riding bikes, going to the beach, and having treasure hunts. They also threw in a quick trip to the OSU and U of O campuses, which our little Beaver (Devon) and Duck (Silas) fans thought was cool. Such a fun time for them!
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