BOOKS I FINISHED - APRIL 2021

Brave Girl, Quiet Girl, written by Catherine Ryan Hyde

When a two year old girl is taken in a carjacking, it's a homeless teenage girl who keeps her safe. This novel is not only the story of a traumatic event, but of the relationship between mothers and daughters (three sets of them in the story), how parents handle things when they don't approve of their kids' behavior, and the positive impact that can be made when you try to understand someone else's perspective.

p. 71, You can say whatever you want about being done, but after you say it, you're still a live person. And you still have to do whatever you figure you can.

p. 200, Some of the feelings around that whole thing tried to come up, but I was careful not to let them. You can't just let them have their way, those kinds of feelings, because they knock you down and then they're in control, and it's all over and you might never get up again. You have to be strong and keep them back behind the wall where they belong. 

p. 231, I'm not stupid. I'm young, but I have eyes, and I'm not an idiot, and I know that people like to pretend you got yourself into the trouble you're in by doing something that they would know better than to do. That way they can pretend that bad stuff like that happens for a reason and they can just stay out of the way of that reason.

The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, written by Alexander McCall Smith

Women weren't supposed be detectives, but one decided that's how she wanted to help people. Set in Botswana, this novel's main character is a well-loved woman whose wisdom not only helps her find answers to people's questions, but to resolve things in a way that is fair. Although laced with serious issues, the book itself is a light read.

 p. 35, The problem, of course, was that people did not seem to understand the difference between right and wrong. They needed to be reminded about this, because if you left it to them to work out for themselves, they would never bother. They would just find out what was best for them, and then they would call that the right thing. That's how most people thought. 

p. 195, She felt sorry for people who suffered from constipation, and she knew that there were many who did. There were probably enough of them to form a political party - with a chance of government perhaps - but what would such a party do if it was in power? Nothing, she imagined. It would try to pass legislation, but would fail. 

p. 221, You can go through life and make new friends every year - ever month practically - but there was never any substitute for those friendships of childhood that survive into adult years. Those are the ones in which we are bound to one another with hoops of steel.

A Place at the Table, written by Saadia Faruqi and Laura Shovan

Two middle school students, girls who appear on the surface to be very different, discover through a cooking club the value of respect, teamwork, and forgiveness. Not only do they become friends, but their relationship brings their immigrant moms and their classmates together in positive ways. 

p. 310, "You are a mosaic of people from all around the world," the judge says. "You are adding color to that mosaic, sharing your traditions, your art, your food. Especially your food." Everyone in the audience laughs. "As you become U.S. citizens, don't lose who you are. Our differences are what makes America great."

Under the Tulip Tree, written by Michelle Shocklee

The lives of a young, white journalist whose family used to own slaves and an elderly, black, former slave intersect when the former is assigned to interview the latter during the Great Depression. A close friendship quickly develops between the two women, allowing one to tell her whole story for the first time and the other to glean wisdom. Beyond race, slavery, and friendship, it's also a story of family dynamics, love, and facing the hardships life brings. 

p. 37, "You need to see life from a different perspective in order to move forward."

p. 130, "I don't like remembering the bad times, but the Lord has a way of using them to get you to where he wants you to go."

p. 284, It was easier to hate. Hatred had been my constant companion for so long, I wasn't sure I could love. 

p. 303, "Why would you need to go back? That man didn't deserve the kindness you'd already showed him. He didn't need another chance to hurt you."

Frankie considered Jael's venomous words.

"Maybe not, baby girl, but it wasn't for him that I went back. It was for me."

p. 330, "Tears wash the windows of the heart."

When Life and Beliefs Collide: How Knowing God Makes a Difference, written by Carolyn Custis James

Using the life of Mary of Bethany as an example, this book demonstrates to women (and men, for that matter) how our theology, what we know about God, impacts everything else in our lives. The author's biblical support for the importance of women theologians in the church is both an encouragement and a challenge to know God more. And I love how she also uses Martha of Bethany to wrap up her arguments at the end. 

p. 47, The whole issue comes into focus when we remember that theology is knowing God. This is not a gender issue. It is not a matter of aptitude, instinct, or intelligence. It is about what it means to be a Christian.

p. 49, Women in the Bible did not need anyone to carry them. Their theology strengthened them to get under the burden along with the men and contribute in significant ways to the task at hand. Contrary to current fears, these wise women did not demean, weaken, or overthrow the men. They empowered, strengthened, and urged them on to greater faithfulness and were better equipped to do so because of their grasp of God's character and ways.

p. 56, Adversity and adventures have a way of exposing the state of our theology. We may have heard a lot about God. In the thick of things, we will discover what we really believe about him. We ask too much of ourselves to wade into these deep waters with so little to keep our faith afloat.

p. 65, In every case, for the psalmist and for us, anger is a symptom not of how wrong God has gotten things but of our need to know him better.

p. 67, I knew basic ideas about God, but I had never concentrated my attention on him, never given his character much thought or taken time to study his attributes. My efforts to study and read the Bible tended to be self-focused. I wanted encouragement and nourishment for myself. I wanted to see God's hand at work in my life and my prayers answered. Terrible as it sounds to me now, I wasn't looking for God. I was looking for ways to make my life better for me.

p. 93, If we learn anything from Rahab, it is that our own sins, failures, and mistakes cannot destroy God's sovereign plan for us. In fact, he is at work in the midst of our self-destructive actions and the pain we bring upon ourselves to advance his good purposes for us. 

p. 124, A malnourished faith is no match for the artillery that comes against us in the trenches of ordinary life.

p. 126, Trusting God means we embrace his goodness in this part of the race and determine, by his grace, to run.

p. 127, Running by faith means believing God is good to me right now, regardless of how I feel or how things look.

p. 141, Fixing our eyes on Jesus means digging beneath the facts of Scripture to understand his character. 

p. 143, Theology isn't really theology for us until we live it. Not until we learn to make explicit connections between what we know about God and the race we are running will we taste the transforming power of our theology.

p. 146, Joy isn't grounded in our circumstances; it is grounded in the unchanging character of God.

p. 151, Fixing our eyes on Jesus means that instead of always reaching into his pockets for something we want, we will reach for him. It means investing in Jesus the same ongoing levels of time, energy, interest, and listening powers that we ache for in our human relationships.

p. 171, The fruit of the Spirit, even kindness and gentleness, are never divided up by gender. These are attributes of Christ, which all of his followers are called to emulate.

p. 179, The Bible doesn't teach a theology of women that applies only to a subset of the female population or fits only certain seasons of a woman's life. God's calling for women applies to all of us from the cradle to the grave, whether we are single or married, divorced or widowed, childless or moms, infirm or able bodies. Our conclusions (if they are true) should fit any woman's life, under any circumstance, at any point in history, and at any location on the planet. That is the nature of truth and the reason we need to stick together as we study.

p. 183, Definitions of the woman that cast her as a passive responder who does only what she is told (someone the man would have to think for, supervise, and guide) create more work for Adam instead of providing him with help. Eve was introduced as a significant, active, and welcomed contributor to the man and to the work they were both called to share.

p. 183, If I have learned anything from my seminary professors, it is this: no matter how many times we study a passage or how thoroughly we know it, we always need to be prepared to learn something new, to discover we were wrong, or perhaps not as clear in our grasp of things as we had thought. None of us has everything figured out. Everyone has more to learn.

p. 185, We aren't told what Eve's job description included, and my guess is it was as fluid as the day is long. As helper she would rise to the challenge of each new circumstance and challenge of life. And in a sense, isn't that the very essence of a helper - to see and do what is needed, rather than confining herself to certain prescribed tasks?

p. 190, The greatest asset a woman brings to her marriage is not her beauty, her charm, her feminine wiles, or even her ability to bear a child. It is her theology.

p. 197, But if there is one message in the story of creation, it is that all of us need human help. When God raised the problem of Adam's aloneness, ne never said, "I am all you need." Instead of giving Adam a lecture on contentment or a sermon on God's sufficiency, God formed a woman - a tangible, flesh and blood human being - to come alongside and, in her own imperfect way, enter into his struggles. He commissioned a person to stand in the gap and be there for the man.

p. 205, (speaking of the church) It is an organism - a body - that is only as strong and healthy as each of its respective members. This means a woman either strengthens or weakens the church, depending on whether she invests herself in or withdraws from spiritual ministry to her fellow believers.

p. 215, We do not build up women simply so they will be better off themselves, although we certainly hope that will be the case. A major part of our ministry to women is to build them up so they will have wisdom and strength to offer the rest of the church. The task of women's ministry is to equip women for ministry in the body, a calling that goes well beyond any official ministries a woman may volunteer to do. The church cannot reach full maturity if women minister only to segments of the body as if they were knotted off by a tourniquet.

p. 218, Where she utilizes her theology and participates in body building, the church gains strength and makes strides toward maturity. This is what it means to be a woman in the church. More important, this is what it means to be a Christian. When women are good theologians, the church only stands to benefit.

p. 224, Contrary to our stereotyped expectations of Martha, she actually offers verbal proof of her theological understanding, something her sister Mary never does. Mary displays her theology through her actions. But Martha's theology shows up first in her words. In contrast with Mary's verbal silence, Martha is articulate, reflective, and advanced in her theological understanding of Jesus. This icon for feminine domesticity is unquestionably a thinking woman.

p. 229, Theology doesn't disconnect women from life or diminish our willingness to tackle our next assignment. To the contrary, knowing God mobilizes us. Those who know God find deeper meaning in the ordinary and extraordinary moments of their lives. 

p. 231, Both sisters' gifts to Jesus were warmly received and highly prized. We must not forget that according to God's system of weights and measures, there are no bit parts. < snip > Theology manifests itself in everything we do, and God invests our slightest actions with enormous significance because we do it all for him. Martha was back in the kitchen because good theology finds expression in service and ministry to others, no matter what form that ministry takes. Her eyes were fixed on Jesus, and she knew what she was doing mattered to him.

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THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful there are so many styles of music, something for every mood and circumstance. What's one thing you're thankful for?

DEVON'S NEW SHIRT

Devon was given a new shirt last week that he can wear whenever he wants. 

Today he was given a work uniform and clocked in for his first shift. That's right. You're looking at one of the newest employees at one of Oregon's three In-N-Out restaurants.

He's super excited!

I WON A PRIZE

I found out during my time at the beach with Sonja last week that I'd won a free bakery item from Bauman's. I stopped by on Friday, as it had to be claimed by the end of the week, and opted for their citrus almond poppyseed bread. 

We'd been eating plenty of treats for the last several days, so I put it in the freezer to save for this week's Wednesday night dessert. It did not disappoint! Bauman's cider doughnuts have always been their bakery item we can't resist, but this was equally good and I'm sure we'll be indulging again in the future. 

THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for pepperjack cheese. What's one thing that you're thankful for?

STEFANIE & BETHANY

The kids asked me at lunch today how many weddings I've been in, which led to mentioning Stefanie. Friends since high school, she and I were in each other's weddings back in the late 1990s. We live in the same state, but haven't seen each other since a park meetup when we passed through town back in 2009. Tyler didn't exist back then and my other kids wouldn't remember her from that brief meeting. 

I was doing dinner prep four hours later and had to get on Facebook for a minute to check something. There was a post from Stef at the top of my feed. With pictures. Taken a few minutes from my home. What in the world?! 

It turns out she, her husband, and a friend had driven up for the day to do something touristy and were just getting ready to head home. We exchanged a few quick messages and they all showed up at our front door soon after for a quick visit on their way out. It was such a fun surprise to have a little time together! 

 

BEACH TIME WITH FRIENDS

My Huds buds showed up on Monday afternoon to visit for a few days. Sonja and Ella hadn't been here in over five years and Garrett never had. I was so excited! 

Garrett enjoyed playing tetherball.

Ella arranged all the flowers she found and put the bouquet in the kitchen.

Isn't this cowboy cute?

Silas and Natie came over for part of the evening, which meant that for the first time in over 25 years of friendship, I was able to take a picture of my whole family and Sonja's whole family together. So special! 

And a silly face pose, of course. 

As those who've been pregnant know, jumping on a trampoline can be a little risky after having babies. But I love my littlest Huds buds and granted their request to bounce them. Twice. Not for very long on either count, but that's all the risk I was willing to take. 

Ella spent some time reading one of our I Spy books with Uncle Tim first thing on Tuesday morning. 

She later called me into my room, super excited about all the little rainbows on my walls and ceiling in the mornings. She thought it was cool that she could get a rainbow on her arm, so I took a picture. 

She, of course, wanted to take a picture of me with a rainbow on my arm. Do I get bonus points for getting two rainbows at once? 

We loaded up Sonja's kids and my two youngest mid-morning and hit the road for a little getaway to Lincoln City.

The facial expressions on her kids' faces as we crested a hill and they saw an ocean for the first time was priceless! We found a picnic table at a beach access point to eat lunch at while enjoying this view.

We headed to Road's End for a few hours of fun on the beach after lunch. It was an afternoon of blue skies, wind, shells, rocks, sand projects, and lots of smiles. I snapped a quick picture with my kids before they got to busy playing. 

It was so neat to see Sonja walk her kids out for their first step into ocean water!

Naomi and Tyler got to work right away on rerouting some water and building a moat. 

Garrett built a castle. 

Ella discovered writing in the sand.

Tyler drew a gigantic face and posed in front of it. 

Sand patterns always intrigue me, so I took a picture of one random section of the beach.

Couldn't resist an opportunity to make a W out of rocks while the kids played.

I saw a ladybug as we were getting ready to leave and Ella was thrilled to have it climb on her arm. 

It was time for dinner and Sonja wanted to try fish and chips from Barnacle Bill's, but found out they only sell it in the summer. She snagged some smoked salmon instead and shared it with all of us, then we headed to J's Fish and Chips, per the recommendation of Barnacle Bill's. We loaded up on takeout, then drove to the place we were staying for dinner, showers, and just hanging out together. Part of the evening included the following conversation. 

N (as we pass in one room) - I forgot my toothbrush.

B - Seriously? You're thirteen. Thirteen! You know how to pack. I asked you repeatedly if you had everything you needed. (Repeat various forms of these frustrated statements.)

:: Five minute break ::

B (unpacking in another room with Sonja) - You've got to be kidding me.

S - What?

B - My toothbrush isn't here.

S (smirking, pointing her finger at me) - You're almost forty-five. Forty-five! (pause) Do I get to tell her?

B (laughing as I call Naomi into the room) - No, but you can be a witness.

I admitted to Naomi that I'd done the same thing I was annoyed with her about, Sonja told her I was eating humble pie, and we all had a good laugh. Then off I went to Chester's, the closest store, to buy toothbrushes. Parenting is humbling.

As Sonja got her kids to bed, I walked with mine down to see the sunset. Naomi and Tyler found spots to sit right away and I had to take a picture of them. 

Waiting for the final dip below the horizon.

I love sunsets. I love the beach. I love sunsets at the beach.

Goofy faces before heading back.

Tyler eased into Wednesday by grabbing a library book he's brought along as soon as he woke up.

 

Once everyone was ready for the day, we went out to do some touristy shopping. First stop was Prehistoric, a store Sonja had found out about and thought the kids would enjoy looking through because of all the dinosaur stuff. I'm not personally interested in dinosaurs, but a friend's daughter is obsessed. I took a few pictures for her, including this one with me in it. I mean, it's not every day you get to take a picture with a dinosaur. 

We had to cross the street for our next stops and having the littlest kids hold someone's hand somehow morphed into all six of us holding each other's hands. Not everyone was equally enthused about that plan, but everyone played along as we took up the entire width of the crosswalk.

Shopping completed, we went back for lunch and either naps or down time. Naomi hunkered down to get some math done, a task made better by the bag of salt water taffy she'd just bought at Candyland. 

Tyler went back to the book he'd been reading earlier in the day and I sprawled out to start a book I was given recently. 

Wednesday afternoon we headed back to the sand, this time at Gleneden Beach. I asked Naomi to take a picture of the moms, friends for more than half our lives.

There was a big hole someone else had dug out earlier and the kids were playing in it, so I asked them to all get in it for a picture. 

I walked back to our spot in the sand for a bit and discovered Naomi and Tyler had found beach lockers to store their shades and shoes in. 

Tyler and Ella called me over at one point to see how they'd buried Naomi. 

Then Naomi buried Tyler and I needed documentation.

Resiliency is the word that comes to mind when I look at beach scenes like this one. Roots exposed by harsh conditions. Branches pointing the direction constant wind forces them to. And still growing.

The littles linked up with Naomi to stand in the surf while Tyler kept throwing rocks out into the waves. 

I'd taken a picture with both of my kids on Tuesday, but wanted shots alone with each of them. 

And one by myself because being outside is my happy place and the beach is awesome.

That evening everyone showered and ate dinner while I hopped online for a meeting, then we all gathered at the table for chocolate sampling. I'd purchased three unusual flavors  - Pigs N' Taters, Chicken & Waffles, PB&J Sandwich - at Candyland earlier in the day, so we each tried a square from each bar. 

I wouldn't buy any of the bars again for their flavor, but they provided some edible entertainment to our evening. And Hammond's definitely has some tasty flavors on their website!

Because three squares of funky chocolate wasn't enough treats for the night, I blitzed over to Side Door Cafe before they closed to pick up two slices of coconut cream pie. I haven't eaten there in several years and Sonja never has, but we were given money specifically for treating ourselves to this particular type of pie.

Pie went in the fridge for later, I finally showered, and we all hung out for a couple hours. The kids watched a video.

The girls, including Sonja and I later on, painted nails. 

The boys did back flips off the couch.

Then Sonja's kids went to bed, my kids hung out in another room, and the moms spent a couple more hours eating coconut cream pie and chatting about life. 

We packed up our things on Thursday morning, but weren't quite ready to leave town. Spending some time at Regatta Grounds was perfect. A gorgeous view, as evidenced by this less than stellar picture I took from inside the car as we descended into the park, cool metal sculpture, awesome wood playground, instrument platform, and ADA accessible activities. 

I asked the three younger kids to stand in that arched doorway, but they wanted to sit on the shady bench inside. They'd cooperated with other picture requests, so I deferred to their preference, even though it makes them nearly impossible to see. At least we'll remember what the playground looked like!

It was finally time to head home, so we packed the kids back in the car and drove off. Sonja's crew stuck around long enough for the kids to jump on the trampoline while the adults moved her stuff to her vehicle and my stuff inside. Then they finished the trek back to their home and our visit was over. 

I always love spending time with Sonja and this trip was significant in a variety of ways, so I'm incredibly grateful it all worked out. I'll be thinking back on all the little details as I burn this Sea Love candle Sonja got for me at Salt before we left the beach. It's like she knows I like lemon flavors and scents or something. 

Such a fantastic four days with my friend!

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