BOOKS I FINISHED - FEBRUARY 2013

Grace: More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine, written by Max Lucado
This has been on my TBR list for ages and I don't remember where I heard about it. What does it mean to be a recipient of God's grace and what does it look like to extend grace to others? A really important subject, yet a very easy book to read. I actually read it twice (and should probably ready it weekly), though I never did the study guide in the back. 

p. 19, Grace is a God who stoops.

p. 36, God didn't overlook your sins, lest he endorse them. He didn't punish you, lest he destroy you. He instead found a way to punish the sin and preserve the sinner. Jesus took your punishment, and God gave you credit for Jesus' perfection.

p. 58-59, Each apostle assumed someone else would wash the feet. And Someone did. / So what does Jesus do with someone who questions his commands (Philip)? Apparently, he washes the doubter's feet. / So what does Jesus do when people use his kingdom for personal advancement (James & John)? He slides a basin in their direction. / Do you ever wonder what God does with promise breakers (Peter)? He washes their feet. / If he washed the feet of his Judas, you will have to wash the feet of yours. Your betrayer. / Grace has happened to you.  Look at your feet.  They are wet, grace soaked. / Can't you share your grace with others?

p. 61, Grace is not blind. It sees the hurt full well. But grace chooses to see God's forgiveness even more. It refuses to let hurts poison the heart. / Where grace is lacking, bitterness abounds. Where grace abounds, forgiveness grows.

Coming Back Stronger: Unleashing the Hidden Power of Adversity, written by Drew Brees with Chris Fabry
I'm not into sports, but I occasionally enjoy stories about athletes. This was the first free book I got on a Kindle that was given to us. I actually ended up skimming most of the book, but there were still some good quotes in it.

p.132, The way I see it, belief isn't enough on its own. Once you know the truth, you have to act on it. That's where real faith gets legs. Other people can tell you the truth, but until you own it, it's not worth much. It's only when you move on your belief and exercise faith that real change can come.  It's only then that you'll yield concrete results.

p. 168, I've learned over and over that closed doors mean God will open something else. A window, maybe, or a back door. Sometimes you just have to look hard for that opening.

 p.302  Coincidence is usually God working anonymously.

p. 302  Don't be afraid of taking a few steps back. A step back is not necessarily a setback. Sometimes you have to take a few steps backward before you can get the momentum to jump over a chasm in your life. The goal may be farther than you thought, and what you see as backtracking may really just be helping you get the speed to make the final jump.

Dolphin Treasure, written by Wayne Grover and illustrated by Jim Fowler
Read aloud for Naomi. This is the sequel to Dolphin Adventure, which we read last month, and is the story of how the dolphin saves the author.

They Shall See God, written by Athol Dickson
Jews and Christians, truth and lies, grace and bitterness, mystery and resolution, love and hate ... this piece of fiction has a little of everything and I really enjoyed it.

The Language of Flowers, written by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
This was recommended to me by Amy, my pseudo-sister-in-law. It's the fictional story of a broken little girl maturing into a responsible and emotionally stable young woman. I loved it!!! Possibly one of my favorite books. 

The Racketeer, written by John Grisham
Typical Grisham book, though there was one little twist that I hadn't fully anticipated. It ended up answering a question I'd had earlier in the book, but I never suspected the twist would have been the answer to my question.

I Rode a Horse of Milk White Jade, written by Diane Lee Wilson
Read aloud for Silas and Devon. This book took me a while to get into, but all three of us really enjoyed it by the end. It's the fictional story of a Mongolian girl whose life seems to be filled with bad luck. She perseveres through the hardships, though, and accomplishes her dreams.

Unspoken: A Story From the Underground Railroad, illustrated by Henry Cole
I don't usually share books the kids get at the library, but I loved this one. It's a wordless book (I love wordless books!) about a girl who is helping a runaway slave. 

Love in the Balance, written by Regina Jennings
I talked about this one a couple days ago.


I wanted to quickly mention something about books with sexual content. I don't care for books with sex scenes. That's just my personal preference. In fact, I regularly return books to the library that I checked out at the recommendation of other people if they have unexpected sex scenes in them. I did that this month, in fact.

That being said, there are times when I will choose to keep reading a book with sex scenes. The first reason isn't anything to be proud of. Sometimes it's just because I'm pretty far into the book and want to see how the story turns out. That happened with the Grisham book this time and I felt like I compromised my personal standards. It's a turn-off to me, though, and it's rare that I'll skim over those parts instead of ditching the book. 

The second reason is because sometimes the sex scene is crucial to the story. I have no interest in a graphic description of sexual activity and believe sex was designed to happen inside of a marriage, but there are times when sexual content between unmarried people in a book doesn't bother me at all. That happened with The Language of Flowers.  The scene was not graphic, the relationship was serious, and the main character's capacity and desire to have intimate contact with someone was very significant to the story. I know that sounds hypocritical or like I'm justifying the bending of my own rules, but there it is. 

2/28/13. THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for Sumaya's Dress Closet, Cindy for creating it for Athey females, and the fun Naomi has had borrowing dresses from it.

What is something you are thankful for?

LOVE IN THE BALANCE - A BOOK REVIEW

Historical romance is not a genre of books I usually read, however I recently finished and enjoyed Love in the Balance, the second novel by Regina Jennings.  This story has kindness and condescension, gossip and forgiveness, trust and betrayals, assumptions and honesty, maturity and mistakes, judgment and grace, pride and humility ... a little bit of everything.

It's the story of a woman trying to choose between two men. The one who appears to be Mr. Right has her heart, but doesn't seem to be the most responsible choice because he doesn't have a way to provide for a family. Mr. Right Now has the means and desire to provide for her, but doesn't stir her heart. Throw family expectations and business concerns into the mix and you've got the makings of a good story. 

Molly, the main character, has to weigh her own desires against the expectations of others, try and find the balance between logic and emotion, consider the ramifications of each option she has before her, then make the biggest decision of her life.

Will she choose wisely?  Well, you'll have to read the book yourself to find that out!

What I will tell you is that I love the characters in this book, appreciate that it's not a sappy romance novel, enjoy Jennings' way with words, and look forward to the next book in the series.  Pretty much the same things I felt about her first book, Sixty Acres and a Bride, though I think I enjoyed this book even more.

If you read Love in the Balance, and I hope you do, then let me know what you think of it! 

I was given a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Like the last time, I have finished my review and will now donate my copy to the local library.

2/25/13 MEMORIES ON MONDAY

This picture was taken when I was in the eighth grade.  Yes, I had on a pink shirt with purple snowflakes. No, I don't know why.  Let's ignore that detail and the random Christmas background that was chosen for school portraits, then focus our attention on the beautifully sculpted mound of bangs that I doused in gallons of hairspray.  I loved those bangs!

 

 

EMPTY, BROKEN, WEARY

It's been a rough night for me and this song came to mind as I had a cry fest in the shower.

Hungry, written by Crain, Scott, and Hyler

Hungry I come to You 
For I know You satisfy 
I am empty 
But I know Your love does not run dry 
So I wait for You 
So I wait for You 

I'm falling on my knees 
Offering all of me 
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for 

Broken I run to You 
For Your arms are open wide 
I am weary but I know Your touch restores my life 
So I'll wait for You 
So I'll wait for You 

I'm falling on my knees 
Offering all of me 
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for 
Oh, I'm falling on my knees 
Offering all of me 
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for 

And I wait for you
And I wait for you
And I wait for you
And I wait

I'm falling on my knees 
Offering all of me 
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for 
Oh, I'm falling on my knees 
Offering all of me 
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for 

Hungry I come to you,
For I know You satisfy.


Oh, how I wish I could keep that perspective when I'm empty, broken, and weary!  Instead I melt down, lash out, and sink into a pit of hopelessness.  I want to wait patiently, to live a life marked by the sacrificial love of Christ, to truly have a heart that is focused more on Jesus than on myself.  But I constantly fail.

Why, oh why, is it so hard to put these things into practice, even when I really want to?  

I'm definitely a sinner and definitely saved by grace.

A HOMESCHOOLING FIRST

We've homeschooled for several years, but I've never had an interest in joining any sort of homeschooling group or co-op.  The primary reason is that I've never wanted to be committed to something that interrupts our weekdays on a regular basis. Over time I've also noticed that the only time I hear people talking about their groups is in a negative light - don't like the other parents, don't like the leaders, don't like the other kids, don't like the way decisions are made, don't like the activities, or simply dislike the hassle of being committed to going.  Additionally, we just haven't felt any sort of need or desire to join a group.  The pros, which I realize are there, have never outweighed the cons for our family.

However, we went to a group today. 

Yes, we did.

Remember my announcement that we aren't going to homeschool the big boys next year?  Well .... I don't know. 

Silas and Devon had a writing assignment a few weeks ago about what they like about homeschooling, what they dislike about it, and what things are important to them in regards to schooling choices.  It totally confirmed my reasons for wanting to change things next year, which was reassuring, and their answers pretty much matched up with my own. 

At the same time, I've spent the last couple weeks wondering if we could change the way we homeschool to make it work better for all of us.  Neither the big boys nor I are super happy with how things are right now, both academically and non-academically, so one way or another, things have to be done differently next year.  The public and charter schools are definitely still on the table as very realistic options for next year, but I'm tossing around some ideas about how we could possibly homeschool more successfully.  And by "successfully" I mean in a way that works for our family at this particular point in time, not that there's a right or wrong way to do it. 

Anyway, back to the homeschooling group. 

One of the things that needs to change is to have more time around other people.  Well, last fall I met a woman at swim lessons who had recently started a group for homeschoolers in our area.  I joined the group online a few months ago, but we've never attended any of their events. 

Until today.

The thing I like the best about this group is that there is no commitment necessary.  If you want to come, then come.  If you don't, then don't.  They have a set schedule for Fridays, which makes it easy for people to decide whether or not a particular week would be worthwhile for their family to attend, and they randomly do other things together. 

This week?  Art. 

I don't have an artistic bone in my body and the word "craft" makes me start twitching, so my kids are just a wee bit deprived in that area.  I figured that meant it would be a good week for us to attend the group, so off we went.  The kids made paper mosaics.  Simple, I realize, but it never would have occurred to me to do that with them. 

I chatted with some other women, the kids visited while they worked, and we all went home happy.  I have the upcoming events written on the calendar and we're planning to attend regularly on science and art weeks throughout the rest of the school year. 

You know what else I like?  It's within walking distance, though we drove today because it was pouring buckets and we had an errand on the other side of town.

So, there it is.  The "I don't want to join a group" mom just joined a group.  Or participated in one, anyway.

2/21/13 THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for two drying racks that allow us to avoid using our dryer almost all the time, which we did anyway, without filling up every doorway and shower curtain rod with wet clothes on hangers.

What's something that you're thankful for? 

MENU - SECOND HALF OF FEBRUARY 2013

The only new recipe I have to share is one that I forgot to post in time for the last menu.  Oops!

* no-knead bread - This is the first yeast bread I've ever baked successfully and it's delicious.

BREAKFASTS
* doughnuts x2
* oatmeal with brown sugar, cinnamon, milk, raisins, fruit, huh-koe-pee milk, and energy mix as optional toppings x8
* Alton Brown granola
* egg & veggie scramble
* oatmeal pancakes
* lemony sour cream muffins
* buttermilk cinnamon bread

DINNERS
* leftovers x2
* tacos x2
* new recipe/rice/roasted broccoli
* quinoa broccoli soup/green salad
* Lebanese red lentil soup (double & freeze half)/Asian green salad
* red pepper salmon pasta/garlic green beans
* lemon Greek salad/bread
* new recipe/bread
* Thai chicken & coconut rice/Napa cabbage salad
* broccoli cheddar quiche with brown rice crust/tomato slices
* family date at a restaurant with a gift card
* fish tacos with chipotle dressing/beans (crockpot, from the freezer)
* new recipe/beans (crockpot, from the freezer

SNACKS & DESSERTS
* produce
* nuts - pistachios & roasted almonds
* popcorn
* zuke cookies
* carrot pie

2/17/13 WORTH REPEATING

What motivates me to keep simplifying and keep reducing when I hear the siren song of shopping calling to me is the very real experience I’ve had in the last 3 years cleaning out my deceased father’s storage unit. I’ve realized that the promises of security and abundance made by advertisements are false and hollow. Having all of my father’s stuff didn’t make me feel secure, it made me feel burdened. And I’m very motivated to make sure that no one is ever put in that position with my belongings.

~ Sarah Fertig at Project 333


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The reality is that we become what we think about most of the time. With that in mind, we may want to focus on living the heart of God and doing right rather than the avoidance of sin. If we set our eyes and heart on God and living His will, sin avoidance will happen naturally.

~ Rondall Reynoso at Faith on View


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Our price range of rentals we are looking at run the risk of landing us in a slummy neighborhood. I fear drugs, violence, but also the sense of entitlement I carry thinking I deserve a certain status of living any more than others who live in these shady areas.

~ Maryanne Gobble at Maryanne Gobble Photography


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You never know when you’re looking at someone if it’s the last time you’ll ever see them. It’s not an excuse to live in fear; it’s an admonition to live in love. It’s a call to treat people — in traffic, online, in service industry jobs like Whitney’s — like gifts from God, not objects, robots or a means to an end.

~ Marcus Hathcock at East Hill Life


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Christian woman, don't get caught up in thinking that because someone else does something a certain way that you must emulate her form!

Focus on the heart... if you find someone you look up to, imitate what is godly about her heart... her motivations... her character. But eschew ways of thinking that would convince you that you need to follow and subscribe to the specific details of someone else's life (the curriculum she uses, the time or method of her Bible study, the cleaning schedule she follows, her convictions about intimacy/ food/ birth control/ etc.).

~ Jess at Making Home

THE LEAST STRESSFUL DAY EVER

I knew the bigs have been conspiring for a while, but I wasn't sure what they were up to. 

I found out today.

Actually, I discovered at the start of this week that they had planned a Valentine's Day surprise for Tim and I.  However, they thought V-Day was one of the holidays that Tim had off of school and that he would be home.  Once they found out he had to go to his practicum all day and officiate all evening, they went to the calendar and wrote "DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING" across today. 

So, let me tell you what it means to do absolutely nothing.

Tim and I slept in until 8:30.  The kids were all awake, had eaten breakfast, and were playing quietly in one of their bedrooms.  I came out to say good morning and was told I was already off schedule because they were expecting us to sleep until 9:00.  Life's rough when waking up at 8:30 is too early, right?  We were told to stay in bed and just relax, so I busted out a magazine and Teebs came to snuggle with Tim.  

Right at 9:00 Silas, Devon, and Naomi walked in with two plates overflowing with food.  They'd made us a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and jam, sliced apples, and peeled mandarins, served with lemon water.  Lemon water!  Ummmm .... we're not a lemon water kind of family, so they had kicked things up a notch for us.  They also gave us each a cup filled with candy hearts, as this was technically a V-Day treat for us.  Devon was our server for the meal, the one who checked in periodically to see if we needed anything and cleared our dishes when we were done, and all four kids hung out in another room while we ate. 

After breakfast we were directed to the living room.  We'd been given the choice of two different movies that the kids had checked out from the library specifically for today.  We opted for Yours, Mine, and Ours.  I'd watched it with the kids a couple months ago and we all loved it, but Tim hadn't seen it.  Tim and I watched alone for about half the movie while the kids cleaned up breakfast, prepped lunch, and played for a while.  Then they came in and joined us for the second half.  Love that movie!

We were sent back to our bed again and just relaxed for a bit until our next meal was served.  The kids brought us smoothies and wraps - one that was peanut butter and honey, one that was cheese, tomato, barbecue sauce, and mustard - for lunch in bed.  Delicious!  Naomi was our server this time around, except that she called it being our "servant".  So cute!

They also checked to see if we'd needed refills on candy hearts a couple times by this point and were shocked that we hadn't finished off our cups yet.  They'd anticipated us eating a big bag at each meal and at each movie.  In fact, they'd bought six bags just to make sure there would be enough to last all day.  Ha!!  We told them we were getting old and couldn't pound candy hearts like we used to.  They, on the other hand, were enjoying ridiculous amounts of them in the other room while we ate our meals. 

Lunch was consumed, visiting occurred, and then it was nap time.  Silas and Devon watched a movie and the rest of us were sent to bed.  I slept for two hours.  Ah, bliss!  I'm not a napper, but was so tired and konked right out. 

We woke up about 3:30 and the kids were chomping at the bit to move the evening along, which meant we were served dinner in bed earlier than our normal 5:00 mealtime.  Their plan was to do quesadillas and salad, but, thanks to a scheduling glitch, there was no lettuce in the house.  So we just had quesadillas, which was fine because we'd already had two big meals in less than seven hours and I was stuffed.  Silas was our server for that meal.

A little after 4:00 we all headed to the living room for the second movie of the day, Bringing Up Baby.  It's another one we'd seen a couple months ago and all thought was funny, and we enjoyed it again today. 

The movie ended and we were sent back to our room again for dessert.  They served everyone apple pie with vanilla ice cream and root beer floats.  Ay yi yi!  It was delicious, but everyone hit a sugar wall at some point and couldn't finish their dessert.  Even the person who had said, just moments earlier, that they couldn't overdo it on sugar. 

We still had about an hour until people needed to start getting ready to hit the sack, so the kids had everyone pile on our bed to play a game together.  We laughed our way through a game of Catch Phrase, blondes agains brunettes, and snacked on pistachios to balance out the sugar coma we all had going on.    

Then three kids went to bed.  Then one kid went to bed.  Then I came here to tell you about what a great day I had. 

Today was so relaxing!  I slept, watched movies, played games, and ate food I didn't prepare.  As a human being, this day was a luxury.

The little Ws are wonderful!  I'm so thankful that our kids are thoughtful people.  I'm proud of the way they worked together to make this day happen.  I loved hearing them remind each other that today was all about blessing us.   As a mom, this day was an encouragement.

2/14/13 THANKFUL THURSDAY

I am thankful that our family is usually healthy.

What is one thing that you're thankful for?

2/12/13 WORTH REPEATING

Many young writers think of revision as all hard work and drudgery. But revision is more than just a way to fix a broken piece of writing. It's also a way to honor a good piece and make it even better.

~ Ralph Fletcher in Tips for Young Writers at ralphfletcher.com


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It is not often that people with deeply held and completely opposing viewpoints actually risk sitting down and listening to one another. We see this failure to listen and learn in our government, in our communities and in our own families.

< snip >

We learned about each other as people with opposing views, not as opposing people.

~ Shane L. Windmeyer in Dan and Me: My Coming Out as a Friend of Dan Cathy and Chick-fil-A at Huffington Post


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Is there something - some desire, some heart longing unfulfilled, that is eating up your energy, your thought life, your efforts? Is there something that you are devoting yourself to?

It's not wrong to have a dream. Just as it wasn't wrong for a nation of slaves to long for their own land where they could have their own homes. It's not wrong to have a dream for which you are striving.

But the journey we're on: sometimes, we move from point A to point B, directly. Sometimes, like the Israelites, we take more detours than we'd like. But it's in those detours, the places that we've been led that don't necessarily fit in with our original plan, that God reveals Himself to us in the "not yet".

What He wants, more than anything, is our longing to have Him be our guide. What He wants is to share the journey with us. To call us His own, and for us to in turn, call Him our dearly loved and depended on Father. To be in a living, loving, vibrant covenant relationship with Him.

~ Susan in Detours on the Road to the Promised Land at Wild Life in the Woods


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Likewise, being willing to compromise what we know to be true and right, which is, at heart, our own integrity, for the sake of "getting there faster" won't take us where we hope it will. Shortcuts can be ruinous to the spirit.

In the same way, stepping on a fellow sojourner in order to more quickly achieve your goals will end up poisoning you, on the inside.

~ Susan at Wild Life in the Woods (same post as the previous quote, but a different thought that I wanted to quote separately)


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I think the photoshopped lives we see have blurred reality a wee bit and are the root of more problems than we realize.

~ Faith Hayes

2/11/13 MEMORIES ON MONDAY

This picture was taken December 1999.  It was our first married Christmas, which we spent with my dad and his family in sunny California.  Yes, I had really short hair.  And, yes, Tim had long hair that was pulled back. 

36 YEARS 8 MONTHS AND 60 YEARS

If I were my mom, then I'd have received a cancer diagnosis last week. I'm 36 years 8 months old. I always have an awareness of my age in relation to her cancer, like reaching her diagnosis age this month, but I'm not feeling as emotional now as I always thought I would. In my experience, the anticipation of a milestone is often far worse than the milestone itself.

If my mom were alive, then today would be her birthday. Her 60th birthday. I sometimes wonder what our relationship would have been like at this point in life, the ways we'd be close and the disagreements we'd have. I wonder what kind of mother-in-law she'd be to Tim and what kind of relationship she'd have with the little Ws.   

I hope that I'll be able to raise my kids to adulthood, to know and love any spouses or children they may have.  

But life has no guarantees.

So, I pray that I can fully appreciate the life I'm living, to let the hardships roll off my back or help me mature, to savor the blessings and not take anything for granted.

2/7/13 THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for friends who have different strengths or more experience than I do and can give me advice when I'm feeling stuck in some aspect of life.

What's something that you're thankful for?

LOCKED DOOR, OPEN DOOR

I glanced out the window as I was making lunch today and noticed my neighbor and her baby getting dropped off.  Several minutes later I glanced out again and saw that they were standing at their front door.  None of their cars were in the driveway, so I figured she must have been locked out.  

I stepped out to the porch, hollered across the street to confirm my suspicion, then invited them to wait at our house.  She left her locked door and came through our open door. 

I met this neighbor once when she answered the door for one of our monthly "take goodies to the neighbors" outings, but her brother comes over somewhat regularly, her youngest sisters came periodically during the summer, and I've chatted with her mom very briefly a couple times.  We have a neighborly acquaintance kind of relationship with their family, but nothing more. 

Anyway, we were able to give her daughter some food, our bigs bombarded her with questions and talked her ear off while I took care of some household stuff, our littlest played with her baby, then she and I chatted about homeschooling, her career plans, cooking and baking, paint colors, the local schools, having babies, and other random things. 

She's a lot younger than I am and in a totally different place in life, but I thoroughly enjoyed our visit.  She was here for 3 1/2 hours and we exchanged numbers before she left. 

One locked door + one open door = a new friendship.

7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE FAMILIES

I mentioned a few days ago that I'd read Stephen Covey's book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.  I knew nothing about it and had never read anything by him before, but the title caught my eye as I was wandering the stacks at the library.

Much of the book is common sense, yet those "duh" things are ones we often fail to consistently work at.  Other things I hadn't really considered before.  Most of the things that struck me were the real life examples of things the families of the author, his grown children, and various readers, conference attendees, and friends of theirs have done to strengthen their families.  I'm all about practical ideas!

I'm going to list some different thoughts that stood out to me, but I'd encourage you to read the book yourself.  Don't feel locked into doing everything he suggests or expect to agree with every single thing he says, but use the book as a springboard for re-evaluating the dynamics of and relationships in your own family. 

* Families need a destination, a family mission statement that express the shared vision and values of all family members.  He talks quite a bit in the first part of the book about how to develop a mission statement, but the info is good even if you don't want to actually write one out.

* Families need a flight plan, exercising principles that are universal, timeless, and self-evident.

* Families need a compass, the ability to align your family with its principles and do the most appropriate thing in a given situation.

* Develop a pause button, an ability to stop between what happens and how you respond, then deliberately choose your response.

* Life consists of two circles.  The circle of concern includes all the things I care about and I use reactive, blaming, accusing language when talking about those things.  Examples: The kids are driving me nuts, my neighbor is obnoxious, my parents did a lousy job raising me.  The circle of influence is a smaller circle inside the circle of concern.  It includes all the things I can actually do something about and I use proactive language that focuses on things I can do when I talk about those things.  Examples: I can praise good behavior and remain calm when dealing with poor behavior, I will not complain about my neighbor and will seek ways to show kindness to him/her, I will trust that my parents did the best they knew how to do and will make a conscious effort to do some specific things differently.  We need to focus on the circle of influence.

* We need to make many deposits in and few withdrawals from the Emotional Bank Accounts of our family members.  Be proactive and do things that build trust, avoid being reactive and diminishing trust.

* Everyone needs 12 hugs or forms of emotional nourishment each day.  Evaluate how your family is doing with that and make any necessary adjustments.

* Saying that family is important means nothing.  Demonstrating that family is important is what matters.  Is there strong evidence that a close, happy, supportive family is a high priority for you?

* The rewards of home and family are intrinsic, which is why the extrinsic rewards of work and activities can tempt us to shift our priorities.

* Sharpen the saw, take time to consistently and frequently do things that renew your family physically, socially/emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.  Doing the following things together and help that renewal - maintain traditions, have regular family dinners, take family vacations, celebrate birthdays & holidays, have extended and intergenerational family activities, learn new things, worship, work, serve, have fun.   There are tons of examples in the book, but I'm sure you can come up with your own ideas, too.

* Criticizing, complaining, comparing, and competing are the four deadly "cancers" that are deterred by the "immune system" of a healthy family.


You know I can't read a book about something like family without sharing some quotes that I liked, so here are a bunch I made note of while I was reading.

p. 13, Patience is faith in action.  Patience is emotional diligence.  It's the willingness to suffer inside so that others can grow.  It reveals love.  It gives birth to understanding.   Even as we become aware of our suffering in love, we learn about ourselves and our own weaknesses and motives.

p. 24, (quoting someone else) No mother is happier than her most unhappy child.

p. 48, (quoting someone else) Ask yourself, are those around you made happier or better by your presence in the home?

p. 52, Perhaps there is nothing that tests our proactive capacity as much as saying "I'm sorry" to another person.  If your security is based on your image or your position or on being right, to apologize is like draining all the juice from your ego.  It wipes you out.

p. 55, Next to apologizing, the toughest and one of the most important deposits an individual can make ... is to be loyal to family members when they are not present.  In other words, talk about others as if they were present.

p. 113, (quoting Oprah Winfrey) If you don't have the time for one night or at least one hour during the week where everybody can come together as a family, then the family is not the priority.

p. 115, (quoting someone else) I have climbed the ladder of success, and as I'm getting near the top rung, I realize that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.

p. 119, But there's also no question that the role of parents is a unique one, a sacred stewardship in life.  It has to do with nurturing the potential of a special human being entrusted to their care.  Is there really anything on any list of values that would outweigh the importance of fulfilling that stewardship well - socially, mentally, and spiritually, as well as economically?

p. 119, But that which we desire most earnestly, we believe most easily.

p. 206, There's no way to have rich, rewarding family relationships without real understanding.  Relationships can be superficial.  They can be functional.  They can be transactional.  But they can't be transformational - and deeply satisfying - unless they're built on a foundation of genuine understanding.

p. 221, We can also make up our minds not to be offended by others.  Taking offense is a choice.  We may be hurt, but there is a big difference between being hurt and taking offense.  Being hurt is having our feelings wounded - and it does smart for a time - but taking offense is choosing to act on that hurt by getting back, getting even, walking out, complaining to others, or judging the "offender".

p. 233, Always ask yourself, "Will this feedback really be helpful to this person, or does it just fulfill my own need to set this person straight?"  If there's any anger inside you, then it's probably not the time or the place to give feedback.

p. 236, This taught me forcibly that when people have done their best, whether it meets your standards or not is irrelevant.  That is the time to give them appreciation and praise.  When someone has completed a major task or project, or has accomplished something that required supreme effort, always express admiration, appreciation, and praise.  Never give negative feedback - even though it may be deserved and even though you do it in a constructive way and with good motives in order to help the person do better.  Give the constructive feedback at a later time when the person is ready for it. 

But at the time, praise the effort.  Praise the heart that went into it.  Praise the worth of the person, the personal identity that was transmitted into the project or work.  You're not compromising your integrity when you take such an encouraging, appreciating, affirming approach.  You're simply focusing on that which is more important that some nervous definition of excellence.

MENU - FIRST HALF OF FEBRUARY 2013

First, the new stuff.

* dry roasted almonds - I've actually been making these for quite a while, but I keep forgetting to mention it.  Winco doesn't sell dry roasted almonds in the bulk department and they're spendy at Freddy's, so I started making my own.  I just buy raw almonds from the bulk section of Winco or in a bag from Costco.  I don't mind raw almonds, but dry roasting them has made the rest of the family start eating them as a regular snack.
* cumin chips & guacamole - Tasty, as long as you cut back on the salt.
* quinoa broccoli soup - A rare, yet successful, occurrence of me winging it in the kitchen.

Now, the menu.

BREAKFASTS
* doughnuts x2
* oatmeal with brown sugar, cinnamon, milk, raisins, fruit, huh-koe-pee milk, and energy mix as optional toppings x9
* egg & sausage scramble
* cinnamon swirl toast & banana cherry smoothies
* pumpkin pancakes
* cherry oatmeal muffins

DINNERS
* leftovers x2
* tacos x2
* cheesy green beans/rice
* easy baked ham/cheesy spinach mashed potatoes/winter fruit salad with lemon poppyseed dressing
* ham & lentil soup (crockpot, using leftover ham)/homemade bread
* salsa, olives, tortillas (our contribution to a taco/nacho bar)
* six layer casserole (crockpot)/garlic roasted cauliflower
* broiled salmon with lemon pepper (Tim's catch, from the freezer)/brown rice lentil salad over spinach
* upside down pizza (will double base & freeze half)/Leslie's salad
* tomato, feta, & barley salad/cucumber slices
* creamed eggs & toast/fruit salad
* carrot soup/homemade bread
* honey curried chickpeas (crockpot)/rice/zucchini & tomato skillet

SNACKS & DESSERTS
* produce
* roasted almonds
* popcorn
* banana spice cookies (some to give away)
* banana chocolate chip bars (for a potluck)

BOOKS I FINISHED - JANUARY 2013

The Light at Tern Rock, written by Julia L. Sauer and illustrated by Georges Schreiber

Read aloud for Naomi. It's a fictional story with lessons about making sacrifices, learning how and when to extend grace when promises are broken, and thinking of others more than ourselves.


Sister, written by Rosamund Lupton

I can't remember how this book originally landed on my TBR list. It's the fictional story of a woman whose sister's death is ruled a suicide, but the woman is confident her sister was actually murdered and sets out to prove it. Lots of twists to the story and I enjoyed it.
 

p. 64, Tact is catching.

p. 217, Can you be eco about friendships? They are too valuable to be junked when they stop being immediately convenient.

The Family Under the Bridge, written by Natalie Savage Carlson and illustrated by Garth Williams

Read aloud for Naomi. This is the fictional story of an elderly hobo who gets to know a homeless woman and her children in Paris. Despite initial resistance from the two adults involved, the group ultimately forms their own little family.

p. 71, "What good does it do to be honest if you aren't kind and generous?" he asked.


Worth Fighting For: Love, Loss, and Moving Forward, written by Lisa Niemi Swayze

Another one that I can't remember where I heard about it. The author, Patrick Swayze's wife of 34 years, shares about their last two years together, years spent battling his pancreatic cancer. She writes very casually, as though she were chatting with you at home, and I enjoyed her honesty, sense of humor, and snippets of sarcasm. I don't really care who her husband was from a celebrity standpoint and I don't share all their beliefs, but I respect their commitment to each other and how they seem to have maintained an "average Joe" quality to their lives. 


The Master Puppeteer, written by Katherine Paterson

Read aloud for Silas and Devon. Tension between fathers and the sons who don't meet their standards, a city that is starving to death, a bandit who robs from the rich to feed the poor, a famous puppet theater with a demanding master, and the significance of friendship. All three of us loved this book! 


Twenty and Ten, written by Claire Huchet Bishop and illustrated by William Pene du Bois

Read aloud for Naomi. We were able to read it all in one sitting this time and the big boys sat in with us to hear it again, as it's one of their past favorites. It's the fictional story of twenty French children who hide ten Jewish children from some Nazi soldiers.


Seven Years Between, written by Pamela McDavid

This is the debut novel of a friend of mine. It's loosely based on the childhood of the author's mom and is the story of a young girl who, due to her parents' divorce and her mother's job, must live with other people for seven years. Each of her living situations is very different from the others and one is quite difficult, but she and her mom remain close and she learns a lot through the process.

p. 86, Remind me to never get so good at something that I can't take criticism or question.


October Baby, written by Eric Wilson

I watched the movie a few months ago, but also wanted to read the book. I was thinking they'd done a great job of getting almost everything from the book into the movie, then realized the screenplay preceded the novel. Well, that explains that. There are a few details in the book that weren't in the movie, but they're almost exactly the same and I liked them both. Inspired by real events, it's the story of a young woman who discovers that she was adopted after surviving a failed abortion.


Mary on Horseback: Three Mountain Stories, written by Rosemary Wells

Read aloud for Naomi. This book is about Mary Breckinridge, a woman whose Frontier Nursing Service brought medical care to the poverty-stricken people of the Appalachian mountains.


Dolphin Adventure, written by Wayne Grover and illustrated by Jim Fowler

Read aloud for Naomi. This is the true story of a man who helps save the life of a dolphin while on a diving trip.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, written by Stephen R. Covey

I spotted this book while browsing the library shelves and was intrigued. I think I'll just do a separate post about this book on another day. Stay tuned!

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