BOOKS I FINISHED - MAY 2016

The Beach Trees, written by Karen White

A woman who's spent her life searching for her missing sister befriends a woman whose own family is searching for her. When the second woman dies, the first woman becomes guardian of her child and ends up helping to unlock her family's secrets. In the process, she learns about moving forward when it seems impractical.

p. 222, "Sometimes you got to put up with a whole bunch of ugly so you can appreciate a little bit of beautiful."

p. 332, The word that came to me now was "defiant". Because a person had to be defiant to be able to stand amid the wreckage of her life and instead of shaking a fist, pick up a hammer.

Finding Spiritual Whitespace: Awakening Your Soul to Rest, written by Bonnie Gray

Crystal mentioned this book a couple times on Money Saving Mom, so I got it from the library. The first few chapters were really timely for me to read, hitting me right where it hurts (in a good way), then it fizzled out for me. I can't put my finger on why I lost interest, but I did. I skimmed the rest of the book, but didn't read the whole thing.

p.28, My greatest fear was failing to find the freedom I believed came from walking with Jesus.

p. 40, What is the mat you want me to pick up, Jesus? What realities have I accepted living with for decades that have been immovable parts of my identity?

p. 46, Even trusting God became a test of my resolve. Rest became a battle to run away from the things that break me  - instead of allowing the brokenness to bring me to him. All this running, it's exhausting.

Food Not Lawns: How to Turn Your Yard into a Garden and Your Neighborhood into a Community, written by H.C. Flores

The title is pretty self-explanatory, although the book goes beyond basic gardening and gives various ideas for how to use our resources in responsible ways. Anyone, regardless of their commitment to environmental concerns, food sources, or community involvement/relationships, could find at least an idea or two from the book to put into practice.

p. 2, Those who control our food control our lives, and when we take that control back  into our own hands, we empower ourselves toward autonomy, self-reliance, and true freedom.

p. 210, Try spending a week without any clocks, calendars, or mirrors. < snip > Imagine waking up when you feel rested,eating when you are hungry, celebrating holidays on whatever day you want, and basing your self-image on how you feel rather than how you look.

p. 211, If you spend five minutes every day looking for your keys, that's thirty hours each year. If you spend a few minutes creating a convenient place  to keep your keys and train yourself to put them there, you can use the saved time for something you enjoy.

Living on Less and Liking it More: How to Reduce Your Spending and Increase Your Living, written by Maxine Hancock

Peg mentioned this book when I asked about books people read multiple times and it sounded like one I'd like. The book serves as a good reminder that we live in culture that encourages us to constantly spend money, rack up debt, and never be content. Not only that, but many Christians live under the false belief that material wealth is a sign of great faith and holy living. Many of the ideas presented are ones I already felt strongly about, so there were a lot of quotes I liked. Here are some of them.

p. 29, (referencing Mark 12:43-44) Jesus enunciated a principle of reality in the kingdom of God: that our giving is not measured by the amount we give, but by the amount we have left over when we have given.

p.48, And, since all the other joys of life are actually dependent upon contentment, it is contentment we need most to learn.

p.66, But allowing yourself to buy things you cannot afford today, in the hope that you will be able to afford them - plus interest - next month, is living a myth.

p.74, And, as C.S. Lewis puts it, "If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small."

p.111, Whatever the solution to meeting the housing needs of your family, the real joys of any home are not in the size of shape of the physical plant, but in the spirit of love and contentment that prevails within the walls.

p.121, I have found that God is just as accessible from the square of linoleum that is my kitchen floor as He is from the loftiest mountaintop conference.

p.131, There is a sense in which feeling "poor" or "rich" depends only upon to whose condition you compare your own.

p.136, Real poverty is when material things are uppermost and pressing - whether because we have too few or too many of them. It is poverty, because the human mind and spirit are made for higher things, worthier pursuits.

p.138, Godliness is using the good things of this life as God would, as a means of bringing blessing to others.

p.141, The good life is not one which can be defined as being above any arbitrary poverty line. It is, simply, "godliness with contentment." It is simplicity with dignity. It is having without holding.

Moloka'i, written by Alan Brennert

Liesl recommended this book and, being totally unfamiliar with the leper colony that used to be on the island of Moloka'i, I was intrigued. Although it's a work of fiction, it's inspired by specific people and is a realistic portrayal of that time and place. The story is about young girl in the late 1800s who finds a red spot on her skin and is sent away from her family because of it, then follows her life for decades as she grows up and makes a life for herself at the settlement. Parents, kids, adoption, love, marriage, friendship, courage, fear death, life ... it's got a little of everything and serves as a reminder that your life is what you make of it, that your attitude matters so much more than your circumstances.

p. 205, Fear is good. In the right degree it prevents us from making fools of ourselves. But in the wrong measure it prevents us from fully living. Fear is our boon companion but never our master.

Thirteen Reasons Why: A Novel, written by Jay Asher

Debi recommended this book in a reading group I'm part of. Heart-breaking and sometimes disturbing, but also important, it's the fictional story of a teenage girl explaining why she chose to end her life. Her creatively designed explanation is interspersed with the reaction of one of her friends.

p. 53, - but the point is, when you hold people up for ridicule, you have to take responsibility when other people act on it.

p. 156, No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue.

p. 201-202, You don't know what goes on in anyone's life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person's life, you're not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can't be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life.

Everything ... affects everything.

A Thousand Nights, written by E. K. Johnston

The library linked this book on their Facebook page and the description reminded me of Susan Fletcher's Shadow Spinner, which I loved, so I checked it out. It's a young adult book about sisters, marriage, murder, life in the desert, royalty, family, loyalty, and magic.

BOOKS THE KIDS LIKED

Chalk, illustrated by Bill Thompson

A wordless book about chalk pictures that become real when kids are drawing.

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5/26/16 - THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful we didn't have an open house this month. We all enjoy them, but life has been unusually busy lately and I'm exhausted. So after a year and a half of hosting, it's been nice to take a month off.

What's one thing that you're thankful for?

BECAUSE, WHY NOT?

A few weeks ago there was a conversation in the junior high group at church about what Silas was going to do with his hair when he was done with the fro he's been sporting for a while. Suggestions were tossed around and a plan was made between him and one of the leaders of the class, which led to this chain of events.

Silas this morning.

Silas after I sectioned out his hair this afternoon.

Silas and Melanie in the junior high space before church this evening.

Silas when Melanie was done with him.

Beautiful Melanie, the one with a flat iron, and laughing Silas, the one with hair to straighten.

This is obviously a temporary thing, but he's having a lot of fun with it! Meanwhile, I snapped a picture of this picture, which was on the junior high bulletin board. It was taken during a photo scavenger hunt, though Silas can't remember the word his team was trying to capture with this particular shot.

Never a dull moment in the hair department around here!

HANDSPRING

Naomi asked me to come out to the front yard, with camera in hand, to watch her do something a couple days ago. Here's what she showed me.

Not too shabby for the self-taught trick of a child whose mom could barely do a cartwheel as a kid.

FAREWELL, FRIEND

Monique's family is moving out of state, a change they've wanted for years, and we've been talking about meeting up for ice cream, just the two of us, since just before I found out they were moving. The logistics just haven't worked out. Then, because of scheduling conflicts, I had to miss a farewell lunch for her a couple weeks ago. Today we finally went with Plan C and met up at a park between our homes, chatting while our kids ran around. I'm excited for her family's new adventure and hope she finds some cookie and ice cream loving friends in no time flat!

5/19/16 - THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful we have a lawn mower.

What's one thing that you're thankful for?

BUSTIN' OUT THE CLIPPERS AGAIN

Sixteen days ago Teebs got the mohawk he'd been asking for. Today he asked to go more extreme. Perhaps he was inspired by Naomi, who was didn't have any hair for eight months, grew it back for four months of cold weather, and then got rid of it again last month. 

Check out this boy of mine. He's a cutie! 

A NEW FLIP

Trampolines. Then park benches and other raised surfaces. Then the ground. Now a tree.

5/12/16 - THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful that our church sings the Psalms, like we did last night.

What is one thing that you are thankful for?

MYSTERY FLOWERS & AN OLD FRIEND

I posted the following on Facebook on 1/7/16, the 24th anniversary of my mom's death, but this morning I was thinking about how it's been a year since my trip to Brookings to commemorate reaching the age my mom died at and realized I never shared this Facebook post on my blog.

********

I posted this picture on my blog and FB back in May, but I'm posting it again today with a little story. Shon was one of my closest friends in high school. We drifted apart for a bit after I graduated, reconnected for a while, then drifted apart again for a long time.

As most of you know, I made a quick trip to Brookings last year to mark the day that I was as old as my mom was when she died, one month and three days short of 39. I spent that Sunday morning at the cemetery and figured I'd go to my childhood church if I was done at the cemetery in time. I had to pass Shon's house as I left and almost skipped church to pop in for a quick visit with him and his mom, who is a fabulous lady, but opted to stick with my original plan.

Church had just started when Shon walked up to me. He didn't attend there back in high school and I was completely shocked to see him. He invited me to sit with his family and to join them for lunch after church. I can't remember exactly how the conversation went or who shared relevant information first, but at some point over lunch I was totally surprised to find out that he has put flowers on my mom's grave from time to time.

Five years earlier Tim and I had taken the little Ws to see where Grandma Barbara is buried and had discovered flowers on her grave. Here's what I'd said about it at the time.

"Flowers. There were flowers on her grave. Granted, they were fake like all the other ones in the cemetery, but they were there. And they were "fresh", neither faded from the sun nor beat up from the wind and rain. You guys, my mom's been dead for well over 18 years and none of our family lives in Brookings anymore. That means someone, and I have no idea who, has gone out of their way to acknowledge her life nearly two decades after her death. I don't know if it was a random occurrence that I just happened to catch or if it's been going on all these years, but it blew me away. Totally made my day and I've smiled each time I've thought about it since. And sometimes I tear up while I'm smiling."

I mentioned in a blog post back in May that I'd discovered who had probably left the mystery flowers several years earlier, but I didn't want to say who it was at that point. Today, on this 24th anniversary of my mom's death, I feel differently about it. As I type this post, I keep getting choked up. But my tears aren't about my missing my mom. They're about remembering and honoring. They're about childhood friends, lives that go in different directions and yet stay connected in little ways, acts of kindness done without any expectation of recognition.

I'd never taken Shon to my mom's grave site, but it turns out he'd worked at the cemetery at one point and he described to me exactly where my mom is buried. This guy never knew my mom. He and I weren't in contact during the time he was adorning her grave. If not for a chance meeting one Sunday morning, I'd never have known he'd been there with flowers in his hand.

Shon took the time to honor my mom's life and death simply because he and I had been friends. I'm so grateful.

MOTHER'S DAY - 2016

Fun money from a giving budget. A cheesecake sampler eaten while watching Woodlawn. Papa Murphy's of my choice for lunch. Fresh flowers. Snuggles and hand holding during a nap. Ice cream from El Paisanito eaten on the plaza. Dinner made by the rest of the family. Reading in bed.

Not too shabby of a Saturday night through Sunday night celebration of Mother's Day, thanks to Tim, the little Ws, and a friend. 

MOVIES I WATCHED - 4/11/16 - 5/5/16

American Farm
This documentary is about family from New York who shares the story of their life and farm at a point when no one from the current adult generation wants to take over for the current farmer, a man who is the fifth generation farmer of their land. I expected it to be a lot about farming, but it was mostly about their family.

Best of Men
Based on the true and inspirational story of Dr. Ludwig Guttmann,  a doctor in WWII who revolutionized the type of care paraplegics receive, treating them as human beings deserving of respect and believing they were capable of living full lives. His treatment included the introduction of sports and exercise, which ultimately lead to the formation of the Paralympics. I really liked this movie.

Concussion
The true story of a man, Dr. Bennet Omalu, who discovered that the unseen brain trauma sustained while playing football is killing the players, even though the technical cause of their deaths is suicide. The man is brilliant and holds multiple degrees, but his research puts him at odds with the powerful NFL and they refused to accept his findings for many years. Definitely worth watching.

The Last Royals
This National Geographic documentary focuses on four remaining monarchies - Buganda, England, Nepal, and Tonga - discussing how much power they have, what the citizens like and dislike about them, and so on.

Nicky's Family
The true story of Nicholas Winton, a young man who rescued nearly 700 children from Czechoslovakia right before the start of WWII. He secured foster families in Britain for those Jewish kids, ultimately saving their lives. Part drama, part documentary, this movie introduces us to many of the people he saved. Completely humble, he didn't tell anyone what he had done and his story came out decades later when his wife happened across all the paperwork in their attic. One of the things that struck me as I watched was all the different careers the children he saved ended up having as adults, the ripple effects of one man have influenced thousands of people. An amazing movie about an amazing man. As a sidenote, he died last summer at the age of 106.

Overfed & Undernourished
A documentary about an overweight boy's journey to better health. I have no idea if he's maintained a healthy lifestyle and don't think there's any one right way to eat, but there were good things in this movie. Move your body more, both in long stretches of exercise and in little bits here and there. Eat way more produce, especially vegetables. Set yourself up for success. Realize that what works for one person may not work for another. On the spectrum of things close to the sun (plants grown in your garden) to things far from the sun (foods made or processed in factories), we should eat as close to the sun as we can as often as we can. The little Ws periodically bring up this movie and talk about the progress the boy made in his health, particularly in regards to his run up a hill at the start of the documentary and then again at the end.

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5/5/16 - THANKFUL THURSDAY

I'm thankful for all the trees in our yard. 

What's something that you're thankful for?

ENJOYING THE SUNSHINE

Temperatures were in the mid-80s on Sunday, so we headed out for a hike after church. Given that we were starting in the middle of the day, I didn't want to hike more than four miles or drive very far to a trailhead. I did some online sleuthing on Saturday night to find a conveniently located hike we'd never done before that would give us at least two miles and an incline. This entry on Things To Do In Portland With Children (a newly discovered site that I'll be using a lot because it's well organized and filled with useful information) was how I found out about  Mount Talbert Nature Park, which we'd never heard of and is smack dab in the middle of suburbia. It met all the criteria we had for our Sunday hike. 

Early in the hike we asked another family to take a picture of all of us. 

We saw a few different types of flowers. My mom loved wild iris, so it was cool to see a bunch of them.

We saw tiny spiders ...

... a carpet of ferns ...

... an arched tree trunk ...

... and tall trees pointing to the sun.

We all stuck together for part of the hike, but eventually ending up split up as a trio, double, and single. It's a great park with various routes you can take depending on your time allotment and/or energy level. There are just over four miles of trails and we hiked a little over three of them. All 6 Ws had a good time.

And the oldest W, which would be me, was given a bouquet at the end of the trail by the youngest W, which would be Teebs. Sometimes love looks like a pile of crumpled flowers, gathered throughout a hike and held safely in the clenched fist of a four year old.

GETTING KIDS TO READ NON-FICTION

A lot of kids don't read anything but fiction. I don't have any problem with fiction and read plenty of it myself, but I think there's value in reading about real people, real places, real animals, real issues, real things. So one of the things I've been intentional about through my years of parenting is to make sure the little Ws get a balance of fiction and non-fiction.

Approach #1 - I always make sure the younger kids check out an equal number of fiction and non-fiction books. They choose the ones that interest them, so sometimes it's a bunch of books about one topic and other times it's an eclectic mix. I've noticed recently that I've really slacked off on making sure there's a balance with Silas and Devon as they've gotten older. They still read some on their own, but not as much as they used to and I've started requiring some non-fiction chapter books in the last week or two. I don't care if they have an equal number of fiction and non-fiction as they get older, but I do want them to keep reading non-fiction books that aren't part of what they read for school.

Approach #2 - I grab all sorts of non-fiction books from the library that aren't chapter books. They're always books that are short enough to read in 5-10 minutes or longer books filled with lots of little blurbs that you can bounce around and read and all the books have plenty of pictures. Several times a week I spread 6-10 books about a variety of topics out on the dining table and the kids always end up reading them throughout the day without my prompting. My goal isn't to have each of them read every book or to insist each book that's picked up be read from cover to cover, but to expose them to books they may not have sought out on their own and that they can easily learn something from in whatever little snippets or big chunks of time they want to spend.

Here's an example of what our table looked like one day last week. Topics included child soldiers, Pablo Picasso, the Mustang Cliffs of Nepal, stonefish, women daredevils, deadly situations (weather, animals, jobs, diseases, etc.), body language in art, all the lives connected to one rainforest tree, Celia Cruz (a Cuban salsa singer), and two books with trivia about a wide variety of things.

If you want to increase the amount of non-fiction reading your kids do, then maybe one or both of those ideas will work in your home. Alternatively, maybe your kids read nothing but non-fiction and you'd like them to branch out and try some fiction as a way to use their imagination, which is also important. In that case, the first approach works and the second one could be tweaked to use different types of fiction.