BOOKS I FINISHED - JUNE 2025

The Country of the Blind: A Memoir at the End of Sight, written and narrated by Andrew Leland

I discovered this book at the Wilsonville Public Library last summer and finally got around to listening to it. The author has been slowly losing vision since his teens and will eventually, although no one can predict when, will be completely blind. This memoir is partly about his personal experience of progressive vision loss and how it's impacted his self-image, marriage, parenting, career, and social life. It's also about ways our culture treats blind people, how some of modern technology we all use originally came from devices created for (and sometimes by) those without sight, and the often conflicting ways individuals and groups advocate for the blind. I thought it was an interesting book.

15:38, So much of life, and loss, exists in this space between binaries. The divorce that doesn't end a relationship, a move that brings too much baggage to the new destination, a dying relative who's no longer alive in the way we remember him, even as he breaths the same air we do for years. As painful as the extreme might be in these situations - severing the relationship, forgetting your homeland, mourning your dead, finality also offers relief that ambiguity denies us.

5:13:31, There's a durable public perception that disabled people, by definition, need more help than everyone else and that in the best cases they might overcome their disability by finding self-sufficiency in a few basic daily living skills. But all technology is about extending human capability. We can't pound in nails with our hands, but holding a hammer we become powerful building machines. Most of us can't comfortably travel hundreds of miles on foot, but with a car we do so with ease. We don't tend to think of hammers or cars as assistive technology, but just as a cane or a Braille menu does for a blind person, these tools give us abilities that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. It's the gap between what a disabled and a non-disabled person are expected to accomplish without technology that makes disabled people seem like they don't have independence. If you need a cane or a guide dog to safely cross the street, you're disabled. If you need glasses and a pair of shoes to get there, you're fine. But the relationship with the tools is the same. 

The Door-to-Door Bookstore, written by Carsten Henn, translated from German by Melody Shaw, and narrated by Raphael Corkhill

I heard about this novel from What I’ve been reading lately: the new and the notable, the January 2025 Quick Lit post from Modern Mrs. Darcy. It checked a lot of my reading boxes (intergenerational friendships, found family, meeting people where they're at in life, being known and valued, making community connections, books about books) and I thoroughly enjoyed it. An elderly bookseller who makes home deliveries in the evenings and the young girl who befriends him. All the different people they know from their route. His difficult boss. Her difficult dad. Meaningful friendships. It's definitely a "feel good" story. 

2:26 "There is nothing I find more beautiful than a woman reading. When she sinks deep into a book and forgets everything around her because she is actually somewhere else entirely. The movement of her pupils, the deep breathing at a particularly dramatic scene, or her smile at a humorous passage."

3:19:11, Even when an extraordinary book ends at precisely the right point, with precisely the right words, and anything further would only destroy that perfection, it still leaves us wanting more pages. That is the paradox of reading.

The Fire, the Water, and Maudie McGinn, written by Sally J. Pla and narrated by Gail Shalan

I enjoyed this middle grade novel about a girl with autism who spends the school year with her mom and step-dad and the summer with her dad. Life with her mom is not good, then the summer she looked forward to with her dad is changed because of a wildfire right after her arrival. Rather than a summer spent at a cabin in the mountains, they go to the beach and she learns to surf. It's a story that shows the impact of cruelty, the destruction of secrecy, and the life-changing power of kindness. 

Framed: Astonishing True Stories of Wrongful Convictions, written by John Grisham and Jim McCloskey and narrated by Michael Beck with the preface narrated by the Grisham and McCloskey

This book, which I first discovered on the library shelves, is horrifying. Some of those unjustly sentenced to either life in prison or the death penalty for crimes they didn't commit may have had different convictions in times of DNA testing or with cameras on every corner (and hand, for that matter). However, these stories also make it clear that those who lack integrity will, whether by omission, manipulation, or outright lying, disregard any facts that stand in their way and that no one - citizen, police officer, expert, juror, or judge - is immune to confirmation bias. The silver lining to the appalling miscarriages of justice in this book is that there are professionals committed to the cause of defending the wrongfully convicted, regardless of how many years it takes, and there are people make that possible financially, whether by working pro bono or donating to organizations doing the work. Heads up that this book is has lots of detailed descriptions of both physical and sexual violence because they're critical to descriptions of the legal processes that went radically off-course.

From Scratch: A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home, written and narrated by Tembi Locke

Recommended by a friend who enjoyed it, this book is about the relationship between a black American woman living in Italy for a year and man from a rural Sicilian village. Not only is it a story of their deep love for each other, but also of deep loss - his family's rejection of her, his eventual death from cancer. Alternating between the past and the present, Locke describes the life she shared with her husband and the life she continued without him. It's a tender story of loyalty, reconciliation, and the healing summers she and their daughter spent in Sicily with her in-laws. 

1:30:14, "There are many people, maybe even thousands, that you can love. But there are few people," he continued, his words measured, "maybe only one or two on the planet, that you can love and live with in peace. The peace part is the key."

1:31:01, In relationships, real partnerships, the love is only as good as the friendship.

1:58:10, Children can bury what is too big to bear.

2:42:34 ... I felt a growing apprehension and distrust for people who could wall off parts of themselves. People like that seemed destined to inflict a world of hurt on themselves or others.

5:19:07, He met my hyperbole and hypoglycemia with indifference and deflection.

5:44:12, I wanted to warn her that men perched on a vespa are like gelato that looks like pistachio, but tastes like anchovies.

10:10:38, “We are all the children of God, just look at our hands.” He held up his hand, palm facing my dad. “But notice, each finger is different. One is short, one is long, one is crooked. They each do different things. But we are all part of the same family.”

It Wasn't Roaring, It Was Weeping: Interpreting the Language of Our Fathers Without Repeating Their Story, written and narrated by Lisa-Jo Baker

I don't recall where I heard about this book, but it's been on my TBR since December and my Libby holds list for two months. I loved everything about it. The author, a white woman, was born in South Africa during apartheid. Her story involves the death of her mom, a complicated relationship with her dad, and time spent living in both South Africa and the United States. She didn't fully comprehend the racial disparities that she grew up with as a child, but a growing awareness of and intentional learning about racism as an adult led her to a deeper understanding of her own family history, as well as that of two countries she's called home. It's a book that deals with hard things, but does so with grace and growth. I loved Baker's voice, both in how she writes and how she speaks, and recommend the audio version, but know the print version would also be good.

3:35:09, I believe that he believed we loved our Black countryman. I certainly believed it. But as scripture says, faith without works is dead, and healthy belief must grow legs that walk out its faith in real time, in practical ways. 

5:19:57, Language is limited when it comes to grief. You can't easily sum up in sentences a total loss of appetite, of the ability to continue being human in a human body with human needs when your soul has decided it is no longer interested in participating in the exercise of being human. 

6:03:08, My black and white categories don't work anymore. The "them" I try to put on the injustice side of the equation bleeds into the "us" I have always put on the justice side. I see that when it comes to justice there is no us and them. When it comes to evil there is no us and them. When it comes to violence, there is no us and them. There is no way to opt out of the parts of our history that put us on the wrong side of the equation. As much as we might want to, there is no us and them because there is only one beating heart of humanity, a single organism connected by vital arteries of history and memory and one divine and holy breath, breathed into all of us. We are an interconnected species. 

7:02:56, My father loves me. He hates bullies. He has always said how much he loves the Zulu nation, that he despises racism. I believe him. Maybe, though, what he has also meant is that he loves the idea of being the hero, that doing the right thing is most appealing when it makes us look good and feel good. Paying attention to your words and what they mean, and then what you do, is a kind of open heart surgery on yourself. There is a terrible risk - defensiveness and death, or healing and life.

7:07:22, Love is its own language that has to be learned. Most of us struggle to pronounce its words. Some can barely speak in complete sentences. And like all languages, it is easier to learn when we are surrounded by native speakers. We are all lisping our way into love.

7:35:09, To forgive is to see and to know the truth, and in knowing that you have been wronged, to choose to release the rage and the debt of pain owed you. Forgiveness is not an erasing of pain. It is looking the pain in the eyes and honoring it, then releasing it. And it does not require the participation of the perpetrator. But granting forgiveness helps us rediscover the humanity of the person who has wronged us. Asking for forgiveness helps us rediscover our own humanity. This is grace - the giving or receiving of what is not deserved.

7:44:40, To protect ourselves, we make bargains with our rage and pain, our self-righteousness and righteous indignation, releasing them any time we feel threatened.

The Kitchen Front, written by Jennifer Ryan

Four women are competing on BBC radio program called The Kitchen Front, a show that helps people figure out how to make the most of their food rations during World War II. The winner will become the first female co-host, an opportunity that would help each of them in different and important ways. Alternating between their personal stories, and including recipes used in the competition, this novel is about the complicated ways the contestants lives overlap and how they each deal with the significant challenges they're facing. I'd never heard of this book until a friend loaned me her copy and I enjoyed it.

p. 175, "My grief is only equal to what I had that was lost, and if my sorrow is immeasurable, it is because the depth of our love, our world, and the joy we created, was so immense on the other side of the balance. I would not be without it for all the world."

p. 248, "Sometimes you need a friend to remind you who you are."

p. 313, "I found that contentment - happiness even - comes in all kinds of ways. Sometimes you shouldn't wait for things to be perfect. You just need to enjoy the small things, every little moment that makes you smile."

p. 325, "You need to be brave. It's going to be painful at the start, but if you hold on through the bad parts, one day you'll find a whole new world opening up."

p. 348, "To her, food symbolizes the exchange of love. We nourish who we love."

The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More, written by Jefferson Fisher

I've followed Fisher on social media for quite a while and appreciate his quick tips about communication, so I was excited when I found out he was publishing his first book. As with his online content (social media specifically, as I haven't listened to his podcast), his book is filled with practical conversation advice that the reader can apply in any type of relationship context. Drawing from his years of experience as a trial lawyer, and with a humble desire to share what he knows, he gives step-by-step guidance in navigating various aspects of communication. Definitely a worthwhile read for any human who interacts with other humans! I read the print version, but the author narrates the audiobook.

p. 26, Anytime someone takes a level one conversation and jumps it up to level ten, it's telling. And what it tells you is that there's another conversation happening inside that person's head that you weren't invited to. Something hidden has taken over their filter and is now driving their reactions. You're only seeing the tip of the iceberg.

p. 30, The person you see isn't the person you're talking to.

p. 35, When done right, conflict isn't a fight. It's an opportunity. It's a catalyst for real, meaningful connection, if you're willing to see it.

p. 53, The foundation of every strong relationship is built on this mindset, where the aim isn't to win but to connect, share, and grow together, day after day, year after year.

p. 107, Gaining greater body awareness also promotes emotional regulation because it enables you to observe your feelings without getting overwhelmed by them.

p. 123, There's a sense that silence conveys incompetence, when in reality, silence is wisdom in waiting. It's rushing your words that shows weakness. Slowing your words shows strength.

p. 138, You know confidence when you feel confidence. It's the ability to operate under a feeling of knowledge and appreciation for your strengths as well as your limits.

p. 139, Assertiveness is how you express confidence. 

p. 139, To be able to stand up for your needs and opinions in a way that gains you credibility rather than takes it away is a power beyond words.

p. 150, If an insecure person can't feel confident about their contribution, they'll choose to feel confident in their criticism.

p. 150, The fewer the words, the clearer the point.

p. 158, I imagine hearing music through a pair of headphones, when it isn't too loud in either ear. The sound is balanced. In assertive communication, the balance says, "I respect you, and I respect myself." That's the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness. Aggressive communication doesn't care about respecting the other person. Assertive communication does. 

p. 164, "You always place nice," I said. "That doesn't mean you play soft. You don't need to push back. You just can't be pushed over."

p. 166, The first thing to know about standing up for yourself is when to do it, because not everyone is worth getting out of your chair for. 

p. 197, Your actions and choices define the boundary around the things you value. It's your actions and choices that inform others of what matters to you. 

p. 224, Frame your conversation be first telling them what you want to talk about; then tell them what you want to feel after you talk about it; last, get their commitment to go in that direction together.  

Take My Hand, written by Dolen Perkins-Valdez and narrated by Lauren J. Daggett

Inspired by real events and set in 1970s Alabama, this novel centers on a federally funded program to provide birth control for those receiving welfare benefits. The problem was that patients, including minors, didn't have a choice in the matter, but were deceived, manipulated, and forced into life-changing treatment. A young nurse, angered when she realizes what's happening and horrified by her role in the mistreatment of patients, decides to speak out for a change in the law and justice for those victimized by it. Incidentally, this real situation happened right on the heels of the Tuskegee Syphilis Study, making it even more appalling.

I appreciated that this book wasn't just about the issue at hand, but also about how we all have the capacity to do the wrong thing with complete confidence that we're doing the right thing. It's about the biases and stereotypes we don't realize that we hold, the humility to work on changing them once we become aware, and the redemption that can come when we do our best to right our wrongs. I learned about this book from a friend's monthly reading list in August of last year and loved it.

Vera Wong's Guide to Snooping (on a Dead Man), written by Jesse Q. Sutanto and narrated by Eunice Wong

The second in a series, this book stars a 61 year old Chinese woman who loves to solve crimes, especially when she's told not to. In this case, she meets a young woman looking for a friend who has gone missing. Then she discovers a young man's body has been found and, despite his internet fame, no one seems to actually know him. He's the young woman's missing friend. As with the first book, the characters form a family of their own, becoming increasingly transparent about their own secrets and struggles and becoming more protective of each other as the mystery is worked out. While the book deals with real world problems, it's also a lighthearted read with a funny protagonist. 

What Kind of Paradise, written by Janelle Brown

This novel intrigued me when I saw it on The 2025 Minimalist Summer Reading Guide from Modern Mrs. Darcy and I really enjoyed it. It's about a dad and teenage daughter who, after the unexpected death of their wife and mom many years earlier, moved to rural Montana and lived a simple life filled with philosophy, nature, and a staunch aversion to technology. Then the daughter discovers their life isn't actually what her dad had always told her. What follows is the tension between loving her dad and losing trust in him, being caught between a life off the grid and the new world of the internet, and coming of age in a situation that requires her to make some very hard choices as her knowledge of the world rapidly expands.

p. 105, Never underestimate the power of love to lead you down the path toward willful blindness. Faith in the people you adore doesn't disappear slowly, with each tiny disappointment; instead, it collapses all at once, like the final snowfall that triggers an avalanche when the weight suddenly becomes too much to bear. 

p. 158, I nodded soberly, wondering what a pimp was. It wasn't acne-related, presumably.

p. 170, "Thank you," I said. "It's so nice of you to do all this for a complete stranger."

"Well, we're all strangers to each other, when you get down to it. It's just that we sometimes choose not to be." He shrugged. "I'm choosing not."

p. 177, The line between hope and delusion can be awfully narrow sometimes.

When We Had Wings, written by Ariel Lawhon, Kristina McMorris, and Susan Meissner and narrated by Saskia Maarleveld

Dad recommended this book to me in December, I put it on hold in March, and finally listened to it this month. Set in the Philippines during the 1940s, it's a novel based on the Angels of Bataan, a real group of military nurses who spent years as prisoners of war, continuing to care for the sick and injured while imprisoned by the Japanese. While obviously about various aspects of that part of world history, it's also about enduring friendship, the life-changing impact of being loved in different ways, and learning to face the hard parts of life in a healthy way. I was previously unfamiliar with this group of nurses and enjoyed the story. 

1:27:27, "There are some things that are only moral in the operating room," he told Penny. "At no other time could I tell a person to lie down on a table and allow me to knock them unconscious so I can remove their clothing and cut into their body."