If I were my mom, then I'd have received a cancer diagnosis last week. I'm 36 years 8 months old. I always have an awareness of my age in relation to her cancer, like reaching her diagnosis age this month, but I'm not feeling as emotional now as I always thought I would. In my experience, the anticipation of a milestone is often far worse than the milestone itself.
If my mom were alive, then today would be her birthday. Her 60th birthday. I sometimes wonder what our relationship would have been like at this point in life, the ways we'd be close and the disagreements we'd have. I wonder what kind of mother-in-law she'd be to Tim and what kind of relationship she'd have with the little Ws.
I hope that I'll be able to raise my kids to adulthood, to know and love any spouses or children they may have.
But life has no guarantees.
So, I pray that I can fully appreciate the life I'm living, to let the hardships roll off my back or help me mature, to savor the blessings and not take anything for granted.