Thursday, June 30, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
As you know, I've had a few rough months. Life was kinda stressful and discouraging. Then pregnancy made me nauseous and more exhausted than I've ever been in my life. Then life became overwhelming. I felt like junk and was really depressed. I cried all the time. I lived on the couch. I hid out in my bedroom as soon as Tim was home to parent. I skipped church (not the worst thing a person can do, I realize, but totally out of character for me and the first time I'd ever skipped for the sake of skipping) to lay in bed and stare at the wall.
Though I'd finally admitted here and to people face to face that I wasn't doing well emotionally, I still hadn't been completely honest with anyone. Then one day I lost it at church. I listed for someone every area of my life that I hated, which was pretty much all of them, and that I'd walk out if I knew it wouldn't traumatize my kids. That wasn't an exaggeration. I was spending every day fighting the desire to just leave. I didn't have anywhere to go (well, at least not permanently) and logically I realized that life wouldn't be any better if I did leave. It didn't matter to me, though. I was just so overwhelmed and discouraged. I'd basically lost all coping skills.
Anyway, the woman I dumped all that on met with me a couple days later, which I blogged about at the time. Over the last month or so I've come out of that pit I was in. A couple people have asked me what I did to get over the depression and I don't have an easy answer. I think it was a handful of things.
One, I had people encouraging and praying for me. That was huge!! It was nice to be reminded that people cared and that I didn't have to fake happy.
Two, I made some changes in the things I was doing and saying. I started reading my Bible regularly, stopped constantly saying "I'm done" in regards to my life (I wasn't suicidal at all, but just felt hopeless), made things right with people I owed apologies to, and tried to act normal in regards to getting dressed, cooking, leaving the house on occasion.
Three, my first trimester ended and I started feeling better physically. I've never had any sort of emotional drama with my pregnancies, though I know that's common for a lot of women, so I'm not sure if my depression had hormonal roots or not. I do know, however, that having my body start feeling better made my head start to be in a better place.
Yes, I still get stressed and bark at my family. No, my energy level is not at its peak (but it's normal for being preggo and way better than it was first trimester). Yes, I'm still struggling with living in this apartment. No, Tim does not have a job this fall. But none of those things feel overwhelming like they did for the last few months.
I don't live on the couch. I don't cry all day. I don't feel the need to walk out the door. I like my family. I get dressed. I leave the house. I laugh. I feel normal.
Thanks for sticking with me through this rough patch I just went through!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I'll give away $15.00 in Amazon gift cards that I've earned through using Swagbucks as my search engine. In order to enter, you have to leave a comment telling me what was going on in your life seven years ago. Only one entry per person and you don't have to have a Blogger account to leave a comment. Just be sure I know who you are and have a way to contact you. We'll leave the contest open for 24 hours, which means you have until 3:30pm PST on 6/23/11 to post your entry. I'll post the winner's name tomorrow evening.
I'm obviously ineligible to enter the contest, but I'll still tell you what I was doing seven years ago. We were living in Ashland, OR with a newborn and a toddler. I was home raising the offspring and Tim was starting the MAT (masters of arts in teaching) program.
What was your life like seven years ago?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
If you are interested in participating in the Facebook class and want to be tagged in the posts, then please let me know. If you keep a tight reign on your Facebook friend list, then feel free to friend me for the duration of the class, then unfriend me. My feelings won't be hurt in the least.
If you're local and prefer to attend a live class, then let me know. A friend of mine will be hosting a class, probably in August, and I'll give you her contact info.
Monday, June 20, 2011
They came up with their ideas, did sketches of how the cakes would look, made the appropriate grocery lists, and did all the decorating themselves. They had fun and were pleased with their final products.
Now, my plan was to post the night of their party with a video of them explaining their cake decorations, but the videos will not load. I have no idea why, so I'm just posting pictures for now and I'll get the videos up later if I ever figure out what's going on.
Devon's cake is a war scene, inspired by a year of studying world history and overhearing Silas studying American history. The blue on the left is a soldier's sleeve with gold buttons near the cuff (he sketched a hand, but decided at the last minute not to include it). The green in the center is a grenade that's just been thrown by the soldier. The red on the right is a combination of an exploding grenade in the distance and blood from injured soldiers.
Silas' cake is a baseball field, which is pretty self-explanatory.
The party was supposed to be held at a local park, complete with a marshmallow gun war and a gourmet meal of hot dogs and chips. However, for the first time in nine years, we got rained out. We weren't going to let bad weather cancel our party, though, so we moved to Plan B ... which was developed a few hours before the party.
Everyone met at a local elementary school and we had the marshmallow gun war in their covered shelter. Then the 19 of us drove to our apartment for dinner, dessert, and presents. It wasn't the same as an afternoon spent in the sun at a park, but it was still a great time!
Here we've got Ben, Noah, and Seth preparing to shoot their gun and Austin showing off the gap left from the tooth he lost at the war.
Noah, Silas, and Joe busted out some silly faces for the camera, then Ben, Devon, my Dad, Austin, and Sachi joined the fun.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
* One breakfast of scrambled eggs and toasted banana bread made
* Five loads of laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away- three were bedding, so it's not as bad as it sounds
* One batch of crockpot granola cooked
* A lot of dishes washed, dried, and put away
* One lunch of leftovers served
* A trial run of homemade buttermilk made - I'll let you know later how that worked
* Two week menu and grocery list finished
* One new batch of cleaning spray made up
* Two bathrooms scrubbed - normally the boys' chore, but I chose to do it today
* One birthday gift wrapped
* One easy dinner served - Cajun sausage & beans from the freezer, pot of rice, leftover salad from a big one I made yesterday
* Three homemade Father's Day cards made ... well, supervised
* One new muffin recipe baked for tomorrow's breakfast
I. am. exhausted. My feet hurt. My back aches. I feel 98 years old. The ridiculous thing is that much of what I did today is stuff the kids usually do or could have done. Why didn't I have them do it? I have no idea. I just got on a roll and my brain, as it generally does lately, got sucked into my uterus.
I think I'm going to curl up on the couch with some ice cream and a book for a little while.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
We hit the road on Friday morning, ate a picnic lunch at a rest stop we like along the way, then drove to Science Works. It's free with our OMSI pass and it's always a good place to kill some time before we show up at my dad's.
This morning Tim took two little Ws out to buy another little W's birthday present and I just found out he ran into an online friend of mine (though we've hung out a few times) while they were shopping, then we headed to Mountain for church with the fam. We ran into Josh & Karen there and I sat down with Naomi's teacher at the post-service barbecue until we figured out where we recognized each other from.
The kids were done with Science Works, but there was still an hour until my dad was home from work, so we headed back to Medford and hit Bear Creek Park. The kids love it there and it was nice for Tim and I to sit in the sun for a while. Next stop was my dad's and the plan was to go out for pizza. Except that wasn't the plan at all.
Tim had conspired with my dad and the real plan was for the kids to hang with the grandparents and aunt, while Tim took me out to dinner to celebrate my birthday a few days early. We totally pigged out at Natalee Thai and ran a couple errands. Though I always get gifts from my family, we never do anything to celebrate. That's just part of sharing a birthday with one of your kids and it's not the end of the world. However, it was really nice to have a birthday celebration date.
Saturday morning we got up ridiculously early and headed to Ashland for Ashley's graduation. Though we've attended and participated in several ceremonies, we hadn't been to one since Tim got his master's in 2005. Not only did we see Ashley get the degree she earned in three years, but we ran into David & Gina, John & Amy, Justin & Val (who we hadn't seen in years and who now have a baby), Greg (who we also hadn't seen in ages and was visiting from Bend), Tim ran one of the Ken Bs, and I spied Mr. Jones, one of my high school English teachers. Good times!
We were all hungry by the time graduation was over, so we had lunch at Wild River, then headed home to put kids down for naps. I rested a bit, then ran to the mall where I scored an awesome deal on a birthday present for one of the little Ws. Next up was a party for Ashley. All the extended family came over, the cousins & Tim (major "good dad" points for taking Naomi in the cool water on a barely sunny day) played in the pool and hot tub, we all ate a ton of wonderful food that Debra prepared, and just spent the evening chatting.
Then we drove home. Now I'm tired. So very tired. But happy.
Before I go, let me add that I'm fully aware I have zero pictures of the graduate, myself, or the happy dove couple that's nesting by my dad's front door. Such is life.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
What's something that you're thankful for?
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Well, it turns out that there's an annual art festival and parade in Wilsonville, which I found out a couple days ago was this weekend, and the weather forecast was calling for an 80 degree day. We love free entertainment and have barely seen the sun in nine months, so we decided to add a little activity to our day.
We started off with Tim making pancakes, then headed down to watch a short and sweet parade. The kids scored some candy from the couple sitting next to us, we saw an old neighbor and someone from church in the parade, and the kids got some freebie coupons to use at the Family Fun Center. After the parade we walked over to the art festival and checked out all the displays and vendor's booths. The kids had brought their money, so they each bought the frozen treat of their desires and Devon bought an orange creamsicle scented candle from Cornerstone Candles, an Oregon City company. Smells great!
Though I'm getting a little energy back, which was why I could get off the couch to go join the festivities, I tend to get worn out pretty quickly. So we headed home after snacks were consumed and everyone went down for naps.
Since it was hot and the complex pool just opened last weekend, the kids wanted to go swimming between naps and dinner. We only hit the pool once at the very end of last summer and it wasn't very warm, but we'd forgotten just how cold it was. Oh my! The boys swam around for a while, getting out periodically to warm up in the sun, while Tim and I each took a couple turns getting in up to our waist to help Naomi "swim". About 30 minutes of that and we were all ready to be done. Hopefully the water will warm up as the weather improves, otherwise I may be spending a lot of time sitting on the edge of the pool with my feet dangling in the water.
The day wrapped up with sweet & sour meatballs for dinner (which I love), running a couple errands with the kids while Tim did a shift of parking duty at church, and some tidying up of our pig sty of a home.
Needless to say, this didn't exactly turn out to be a relaxing day, but it was a fun one and our family really needed a fun day together!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
So I called the benefits office yesterday to clarify exactly what our coverage would be and if it would effect our deductible, as I want to get our midwife paid off this week and didn't know if our portion would be changing with Tim getting laid off. Long story short, our medical, dental, and vision coverage will continue through September, which is when our insurance year always ends. The district will then pay for our medical premiums from October through March, assuming he's not employed by then, and we're eligible for COBRA after that. Sweet!
Obviously we'd prefer that he'd have a new job in the fall and for none of this info to be relevant, but I'm thankful the medical coverage isn't going to be ending so close to the birth of the 6th W.
Dentist - The boys went in to get their teeth cleaned this morning, which is no big deal because our kids love going to the dentist and always get great reports at their appointments. Until today. Oh my! The boys do all their own brushing, though Tim and I give them a scrub about once a week just to make sure the job's being done well. However, two months of a mom who has spent all her time on the couch doing nothing that wasn't essential for survival and a dad who has been busy doing extra stuff to make up for the lack of work from his miserable wife means the boys have not had any parental supervision brushing their teeth. For two months. Two months.
Well, the boys went back and a little while later one of the hygienists came out to the waiting room and asked me to come look at one of their teeth, post-chewing the purple tablets. Instant mortification, followed by an explanation of my pregnancy and residence on the couch for the last couple months. Anyway, I went back to see the very purple teeth, repented of my poor parenting, and was very grateful the hygienist was so nice about it. Teeth brushing will be getting a little more supervision again, effective immediately.
Kidnapped - A week or two ago I got a note from Michelle saying that she wanted to kidnap me for an evening. Last night was the designated time. She picked me up, gave me an early birthday present (some of her awesome soaps and body butter), then treated me to dessert at Rose's. Though we've known each other for a while through church, we've never gotten past chit chat. We made up for that last night with about three hours of talking about everything under the sun. It was such a nice night!!!