N - N - N - N - N - N

Necklines - I actually started writing about this a week or two ago. Even had a really catchy title going. Then later that day the topic came up on the Sonlight forums. Not wanting to look like a copycat, I bagged the idea for a while. I'm going to bring it up today without a catchy title. Plus, I have some other viewpoints to bring to the table from reading the thread on the forums.

I periodically think about the issue of modesty and all it entails. Lately it's been on my mind more frequently for a variety of reasons - seeing lots of breasts at church, struggling to find shorts for my infant daughter that do more than cover her diaper, seeing lots of summer outfits running around.

I'll throw out some questions for you to think about, tell you my thoughts, then I'd love for you to tell me what you think. For the sake of this post, I AM defining "sexy" as purposely dressing in a way that draws attention to your body, particularly in a sexual way. I am NOT defining it as dressing in a way that is simply very attractive to someone. Bear in mind that we all have different thoughts on the issue. So, feel free to disagree, but don't be disrespectful.

QUESTIONS
* How do you define modesty?
* Do you feel a moral obligation to consider whether your clothing reveals too much to the opposite sex? Why or why not?
* What do you think about the difference in clothing for the genders? Females - skin tight shirts, ultra low-rise pants, spaghetti straps, strapless shirts/dresses, low necklines, tight pants, shorts that end just below the butt, bikinis, one piece swimsuits. Males - baggy pants, loose shirts, shorts that go just above the knee or lower, swim shorts that go to the knee, tank tops with straps that cover the whole shoulder, pants that sit at the waist, pants that sit halfway down the butt. Why do you think women's clothing is so much tighter and revealing?
* Would you feel comfortable with the men in your life revealing as much skin and body shape as the women in your life do? Why or why not?

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM OTHERS
* We all should be responsible for our own thought process, regardless of what we see.
* We have a moral obligation to not dress in a way that emphasizes our sexuality
* Americans make too big of a deal about bodies. Nudity is not a big deal in other countries.
* If everything in America is sexualized and if bodies are generally viewed through a sexual lens, then we should aim to dress in a way that is not inherently "sexy".

MY THOUGHTS
I think it is very easy to become legalistic on this issue or to take responsibility for the thoughts of every single person who sees you. I think it is also easy to have no/a low standard and take no responsibility for the thoughts of the people who see you. Neither of those options are great. I don't necessarily think there is a line that can be drawn - wear this, don't wear this - where everything fits neatly on one side of the line.

What I DO think is important is to truly consider why you are choosing to wear what you wear and how your clothing is viewed by others. The "why" first. Trying to be sexy? Why? For whose eyes? Do you want to be viewed sexually by all who see you? The "how it's viewed" next. How much of your body are those around you seeing? Does the little boy standing behind you in line at the grocery store know exactly what color your thong is? Does the woman trying to chat with you have to see 2/3 of your breasts throughout the conversation? Does the man dropping his kid at class get to see most of your breasts and all of your bra when you kneel down to put a wristband on his child?

In a nutshell, I think checking your motives and considering the consequences for yourself and others before making a clothing purchase are very important. So, tell me your thoughts on the matter.

New Tribes - My sister and her family work with New Tribes Missions in the cool mountains of the Philippines. For the last seven months or so they have had a live-in tutor for their girls. She'll be there through the rest of this year and they have started hunting for her replacement. So, if you or someone you know would like to spend a year or so, starting about January, overseas teaching my cute nieces (and playing with my cute nephew and visiting with my fantastic sister and chatting with my great brother-in-law ... but that's beside the point), then go check out their blog for some info.

Nothing - That is the word I heard yesterday. Nothing. Such a glorious word to hear from the woman who just did your mammogram!! I had one done 7 1/2 years ago because of a teeny tiny lump. One mammogram, one ultrasound, and one needle biopsy later we knew the little lump was nothing bad. Well, now I'm four years younger than my mom was when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. So, I've been ordered to start getting annual mammograms. And yesterday's was delightfully uneventful.

ARI

Tim's 9 year old niece, Ari, died unexpectedly last night. Please pray for her family, especially her parents and sister, as they deal with the practical aspects of her death and grieve her death.

ULCERS & MILESTONES

Silas is going to have an ulcer by the time he's ten years old. That's my prediction. The kid may look like Tim, but he acts so much like me. Of course, in my old age I've become incredibly mature, while he still needs some refinement. My maturity is not the point though. Silas is the point.

Look at the picture below. What do you think the significance is?


If you guessed that it's the suitcase Silas is taking to Kid's Camp, then you're a good guesser. He will be taking off for his first year at Kid's Camp in just a couple hours.

Now the tricky (for those I haven't already told the answer to) question. When was this picture taken? Don't know? Thursday!!! Here's how the conversation went that morning.

Silas - Mom, I need to pack right now.
Me - For what?
S - For camp! Today is Thursday. There's Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. I leave on Monday!! I need to get packed!!
M - Ok. Go get a suitcase.

A few minutes pass while he gets his suitcase and starts choosing clothes.

S - Mom, what's the weather supposed to be like? I want to bring enough shorts AND pants.
M -I'm not sure. Probably warm, but not super hot.
S - Ok. And what do you think of this outfit (holding up a black outfit)? There are going to be night games, so I think this outfit is best.

This is the same kid who didn't realize we already knew about camp and came to me the morning after he found out.

S - (very business-like) Mom, there's a Kid's Camp. It's in July, you have to be six, it costs $100, and I really want to go. Can I go?

How's that for nailing the who, what, when, and how much all in one fell swoop? The next day it was this.

S - Mom, I think I need a sample size of toothpaste.
M - For what?
S - Kid's Camp. It would be the perfect size for me to use while I'm there. Can you please get one?

Oh my. We're two peas in a pod. Type A personality at it's finest.

Anyway, I need to go get ready to take him to the bus. The Athey Creek Kid's Blog will be posting daily updates. So, be sure to check it out and see if you can spot our new grade schooler on this milestone trip that he's taking. If you're bored and looking for something to do, you can also peruse the Water War posts in that blog and find Silas in a couple posts.

BROTHERS, BLANKETS, BIBLES

I know this picture is a repeat for our Webshots viewers, but I love it. The boys pulled out their pillows, Bibles, and a blanket one night and got themselves all situated on the couch. They hung out their for about 30 minutes. Too cute!

DO YOU HAVE MY BOOK?

I just went to pull a favorite book off the shelf to loan to a friend and discovered it's gone. Evidently I loaned it out and never got it back. The problem is that I have no earthly idea who has it. Does this look familiar?

The book is called Burned Alive. If you borrowed it and then forgot you had it, just let me know. No biggie as long as it makes its way back home.

And if you're someone who has never read it, then I encourage you to buy it or get it from the library. It's an excellent read!

JURY DUTY

I was summoned for jury duty several months ago. Due to the fact that I was nursing I asked to have it deferred. Well, today was the day. I have always wanted to have the experience of serving on a jury. So, I left at 7:30 and reported at 8:00. Around 9:30 they started calling out the first group. My name was the first called! So, 18 of us headed off to a jury room in another part of the building. We waited about an hour. Then six of us were chosen to head into the courtroom. I was one of the six. We all lined up and got ready to walk in. Then we were told "never mind" and sent back to the jury room. We all waited around another 30 minutes or so before finding out that the defendent decided to enter pleas for the charges against them. Bummer.

However, we were told we'd probably be wanted for another case. So, it was back to the big jury waiting room. We sat there for another hour before finding out that we would be needed for a different case. That was 11:30. We were told to take a lunch break until 1:00 and then report back. Well, we reported back just in time to wait. And wait. And wait. The case preceding ours was taking longer than expected. At 2:30 someone came to tell us that the case currently underway would not be done til about 4:00 and they wouldn't have time to get the next case and jury selection finished. Then we were dismissed. The end. I was one of about two people who actually wanted to get selected and I was so bummed!

So, I left the house at 7:30, got back at 3:15, earned $10, and did a lot of reading. I recognized another juror candidate from church, so I introduced myself to her and spent some time chatting and went for a walk on our lunch break. And I found a yummy scone recipe in the jury room when I almost made it into a courtroom. A good recipe means the day wasn't wasted. I'll try the recipe and share it if it turns out as tasty as I anticipate.

One more item of good news. Tim was summoned in May. He never even made it past the big jury waiting room. So, I beat him!!

COPING SKILLS

Well, we all lived through Saturday. It wasn't anywhere near being a Norman Rockwell kind of day, but we were just shooting for survival. You see, if you set low goals, then you're much more likely to achieve them. Here is what helped me hover on the brink of insanity without actually falling off the edge.

The boys on Devon's bed watching Sword in the Stone on the laptop.

Chamomile tea in my Wonder Woman mug, a gift from one of Tim's coworkers who would NOT have been impressed with how I was dealing with the day.

My Bible was left open on the bed so that I could read little snippets as I folded laundry and cleaned house.

IF YOU'RE GRUMPY & YOU KNOW IT

Cry. Freak out on your kids. Blast your husband. Cry again.

Yep, those are some of the super healthy and effective ways I'm dealing with things right now. I'm exhausted and all the males in my family are jumping on my very last nerve.

Tim's gone all day. He was gone most of last Saturday too. With the exception of our trip to Silverton, he's been married to work all week. I'm fried on single parenting.

Devon is in a funk. It wears me out.

Silas is emotional. It annoys me.

Naomi is into everything. It's constant.

For various reasons, I haven't slept through the night, with the exception of our time in Silverton, in weeks. I'm tired.

I'm royally grumpy. It's going to be a very. long. day. I really need to change my attitude, but what I really want to do is throw a full-fledged temper tantrum and then crawl into bed with a book for the rest of the day. Sometimes it's hard to be a wife. Sometimes it's hard to be a mom. Sometimes it's hard to be an adult.

Just keepin' it real. Feel free to pass along some sympathy, tell me to buck up, share a verse to challenge or encourage me, commiserate, or whatever.

COUPLE TIME

Tim and I have set a new goal of getting away for a childless weekend twice a year. We usually get rid of the kids and stay home for the night or weekend once every 12-18 months, so it's not like we never get time alone. It's just that it's nice to go away without them on occasion.

Well, that's a nice goal and all, but there's a problem. We made a commitment in January to put all our extra money for the year toward paying off the debt of college tuition and living expenses. We did budget part of our tax refund for two small family vacations, but every other spare dollar has gone toward debt. Obviously it takes money to get away for the weekend, so we reached a compromise. We called it a "marital investment", using some of Tim's summer officiating income, and went away for one night.

We dropped the offspring at Coolio's house on Monday morning, then headed to Silverton. First stop was Silver Falls State Park. We hiked about 8 1/2 miles and saw ten beautiful waterfalls. Actually we saw nine beautiful ones and one lame one, but it was a lot of fun. After hiking all afternoon we headed to Edward Adams House, our first bed and breakfast experience, to de-sweat and then grabbed Thai for dinner.

After chatting with the other guests and innkeeper over breakfast the next morning we headed to the Oregon Garden. It was so pretty! We're fantasizing about staying in their new resort, which is opening in September, some day. Pretty flowers, walks around the park, massages, summer concerts in the evenings. Sounds nice, huh? Maybe for our next getaway weekend. We still had a couple hours to kill, so we swung by the Woodburn Company Stores and picked up a few things.

It was a quick trip, but we had a great time! And the kids had a great time too. I'll post some pics of their time with Coolio when I do Webshots on Sunday.

M - M - M - M - M - M

Mirror - We have a big, honkin' mirror on our mantle. I took it down for a day last week and discovered a problem. I am vain! Every time I walked by the fireplace I'd turn to look in the mirror, but it wasn't there. Every. single. time. I've never even noticed that I glance that way when I walk past, so I was shocked at how often I did it. What's the deal? You know I'm a pretty low maintenance girl, so it's not exactly like I'm making sure my makeup looks good or my perfectly styled hair is all in place. I have no idea why I look. Now that the mirror is back up, I'm making a conscious effort to not look in it every time I walk by.

Mouth - I think a picture is worth a thousand words.

Music - We spent Sunday night at a free concert by Cubaneo at the park across the street from our house. It was great! The music was good, the weather was beautiful, we ran into lots of neighbors, the boys got their arms painted, and all the kids loved the balloons. If you live in our general neck of the woods, then go check out the schedule for other free concerts this summer.

A SUMMER PROJECT

One of the things in life that brings me great satisfaction is to organize something. I love it. I really love it.

One of the things I firmly believe is that instead of continually buying bigger houses and more shelves, dressers, and storage bins we should just accumulate less stuff. Now, before anyone gets all defensive, I don't think it's necessarily wrong to have a big house or lots of stuff. I just think most people say they "need" more space when they actually just have too much stuff. I like keeping things simple. I try to keep a policy of "something in, something out". We purge toys and clothes a lot!

Anyway, the boys have two shelves in their room that house all our school stuff, books, and other random things. They also have a toy bin in their closet. And we have a shelf and bins for shoes in the living room. All the shelves were full. Then the shoe shelf broke. Then we got another box of curriculum. Then the boys had a birthday party. I thought we were going to need a new shelf. We definitely could have filled one. Instead, we purged toys - some in a freebie box at the curb, some packed away for Naomi to have down the road. Then we moved some of the things from the shelves into the toy bins. Then we tossed garbage and broken toys. Then we bought a new shelf for shoes and moved the old bins into the boys' room.

The end result was an organization!! How I wish I had taken "before" pics!! Oh well. The shoe closet is orderly. The toy bin is orderly, with bins to spare. The big shelves are orderly. I even got all the bins labeled after I took the pictures. The small bookshelf now has one shelf for each boy to keep the school books he's using each week. And we didn't buy a new shelf. Woo hoo!!

Does anyone else get all excited about this kind of stuff?

L - L - L - L - L - L

Learning - We started our new school year on Monday. Doing year round school works well for us and we were all eager to get started. Devon started Core P 4/5 and Silas started Core 1. In case you've missed this detail along the way, we use Sonlight Curriculum and they don't use traditional grade levels. Basically we're doing pre-k and first grade. I would never have sent my kids to pre-k, even if we were sending our kids off to school, but we enjoy the Sonlight program. Basically, we're doing what we'd be doing at that age anyway - reading lots of books - but Sonlight tells us some of the books to read. Anyway, we've read some good stories, done some school in the sunny backyard and the shady front yard, and done lots of snuggling during school time. Love it! These pics make our school time look a bit traditional, but we actually don't spend much time at the table. Only when we need to write something.

Lentils - I know lentils are good for you. They have tons of protein, fiber, iron, etc. But they're kinda boring. Well, I tried a new lentil recipe from the Hillbilly Housewife last night that I liked. It includes bouillon, which is obviously one of the least healthy foods on the planet, so I'm going to try the recipe without bouillon next time. We used the lentils as a taco filler for Taco Tuesday instead of meat and beans. We also had some leftover refried beans without the refry (crockpot recipe alert!!) and rice out as a filler. Here's the lentil recipe.

Lentils and Rice

http://fortheloveofgrub.blogspot.com/2008/09/lentils-rice.html

3/4 cup dried lentils

3/4 cup brown rice

4 c. tap water

4 beef bouillon cubes (or 4 t.)

2 t. chili powder

1/2 t. cumin

1 t. onion powder

1/4 t. garlic powder

In 2 quart saucepan bring water to boil. As it's heating add all other ingredients. Bring to rapid boil, then reduce heat to low. Put on the lid and simmer 45-50 minutes. The water should be mostly absorbed.

Laundry on the Line - One of my favorite things about summer is that I can hang my freshly washed laundry out on the clothesline. It's obviously an electricity saver, but that's not why I love it. I love getting fresh air and hearing birds chirp while I do my housework. I love the fact that if there are clothes on my line, then I know summer has arrived. I love organizing the way I hang everything up according to who the laundry belongs to. I know, I'm weird about stuff like that. I love seeing sheets and towels blowing in the breeze. I love the time to let my mind wander. I love looking at my garden, which surrounds my clothesline, as I take care of laundry.

A LOVE STORY

Once upon a time there was a girl who loved sweets. One day her friend Amy shared a peanut butter cookie recipe with her. Now, this girl was a little skeptical. You see, she doesn't really like crunchy cookies. She believes that cookies should be soft and that if someone wants to eat something crunchy, then they should grab a chip, cracker or carrot. But, she does love peanut butter. And she does love cookies. So she made the recipe.

It was love at first bite. A soft, peanut butter cookie. She had taken Amy's advice and thrown some peanut butter chips in the batter. Now remember that this girl is a bargain shopper, so she bought her peanut butter chips in the bulk section of WinCo rather than buying the spendy bag of Reese's chips. I only tell you that in case you want to be like the girl of this story.

Anyway, she enjoyed her cookies. They didn't last long. She still had some leftover peanut butter chips though. She was struck by inspiration and the next time that she made granola bars she decided to use some of those leftover chips instead of chocolate chips.

It was love at first bite. Yummy stuff. She even hired professional taste testers named Brandon & Becky to sample the new variation and was given positive feedback. Brandon & Becky have tried the original recipe, thus they were highly qualified to give an objective critique of the new version. They were paid in burgers and granola bars for their hard work.

Well, this girl started craving more cookies. However, on the particular day that she was craving them she knew that she'd eat the whole batch. So, she baked them and then popped them in the freezer. Freezer. Could that word be foreshadowing the rest of this love story? Let's see.

A couple weeks went by and the cookies were forgotten. Then one night this girl was struck by inspiration again. Actually, she'd been inspired in this way a few weeks earlier, but was too lazy to put her inspiration into action. No, no. That's not right. She was respecting Becky, who always puts this particular type of inspiration into action with her. She was simply waiting for Becky. That's it. She was certainly not lazy.

Anyway, the girl removed the cookies from the freezer. Then she removed a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream that she'd scored for dirt cheap and packed in the freezer for a stay-at-home date night. Then, she made ice cream sandwiches.

It was love at first bite. Next time she'll try the sandwiches with Tillamook's Banana Split or Dreyer's One Split Wonder ice cream.

And that, my friends, is the story of a love of a girl for cookies, granola bars, and ice cream sandwiches. I'll leave you with all the recipes the girl used in this journey of love.

PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES
Amy Vallely

¾ c. creamy peanut butter
½ c. shortening
1 ¼ c. packed brown sugar
3 T. milk
1 T. vanilla
1 egg
1 ¾ c. flour
¾ t. baking soda
¾ t. salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine peanut butter, shortening, brown sugar, milk, and vanilla until well blended. Add egg; beat just until blended. Mix dry ingredients separately, then add to wet ingredients. Mix just until blended. Drop by rounded tablespoons onto greased cookie sheet two inches apart. Flatten slightly and make crisscross pattern with a fork. Bake 7-8 minutes or until set and just beginning to brown. Cool two minutes, then transfer to wire rack.

Notes: I use crunchy peanut butter and often add peanut butter chips. If you add the chips, then buy them in bulk for less than getting them in an official Reese’s bag.

CHEWY GRANOLA BARS
Pillsbury Cook Book

1 c. firmly packed brown sugar
2/3 c. peanut butter
1/2 c. light corn syrup
1/3 c. butter, melted
2 t. vanilla
3 c. quick-cooking rolled oats
1/2 c. coconut
1/2 c. sunflower seeds
1/2 c. raisins
1/3 c. wheat germ
2 T. sesame seed
1 c. semi-sweet chocolate or carob chips (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 9x13-inch pan. In large bowl, combine brown sugar, peanut butter, corn syrup, margarine and vanilla; blend well. Stir in remaining ingredients. Press mixture evenly into pan. Bake 15-20 minutes or until light golden brown. Cool completely.

Notes: These are a fabulous snack!! They are sweet enough to be a treat, but packed with a bunch of healthy stuff to. It’s what I make when my sweet tooth is kicking in, but I don’t want to eat pure junk.

K - K - K - K - K - K

Kake - Mandi is doing yet another giveaway this week and I think it's the last one. Her husband sells and distributes Tastykake, so the winner will receive a variety of Tastykake products. Go enter!!

Kisses - Tim started a kissing tradition when Silas was born. It's called "four corners" and he kissed Silas' forehead, left cheek, right cheek and chin. Then he did it with Devon. Now he's doing it with Naomi. That's cute in and of itself. It gets better though. The boys give Naomi four corners all the time. Too stinkin' cute!!

"K" words - I couldn't think of a third "K" topic. So, I decided to google "k words". I ended up with a list of unusual words that start with "k". In an attempt to broaden our vocabularies and fulfill my self-imposed quota of three topics per letter, I am going to teach you some new words. I'm sure you'll find that they come in handy in everyday conversation. Ready?

kakidrosis - body odor
kantikoy - to dance as an act of worship
kenophobia - fear of empty spaces
keystone - to double the wholesale price for retail
kickie-wickie - a wife
kidology - a study of kidding
kirking - first attendance of church by a couple after marriage
kreatophagia - eating of raw meat
krobylos - tuft of hair on the top of the head

BOOKS I FINISHED - JUNE 2008

I really enjoy reading, but somehow I've gotten out of the habit. I think it was four years of college textbooks, followed my marriage books, followed by taking care of little Ws, followed by homeschooling. You get the idea.

Anyway, I set a goal at the beginning of the year to finish at least one book each month of 2008. Pathetic goal, I know. But I had to start somewhere. I've been writing them down as I finish them and am going to post them here too. They are Christian and secular, fiction and non-fiction, worth reading again and not worth picking up. I have a very hard time leaving a book unfinished, so I plow on through lame books. Hence, some of the books on this list aren't necessarily ones I'd encourage others to read. And I enjoyed some books, despite the fact they had material that not everyone would feel comfortable reading. I'm just glad I'm finally reading again! And I have an ongoing list going of books I am waiting to read. I'll give you what I've read so far this year and then will just give monthly updates. All the titles are links to the books.

January
Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, by Lynne Truss
Entertaining if you're amused by the horrible way punctuation is used, or not used, around the world. We all blow it with punctuation at some point, but this book is a big vent toward those who are oblivious to basic punctuation.

February
Inside My Heart: Choosing to Live With Passion and Purpose, by Robin McGraw
Practical tips for living with a good attitude, making the best of the life we're living. Easy read.

A House at the Edge of Tears, by Venus Khoury-Ghata
Not my favorite book. Just randomly pulled it off the library shelf.

March
Walking Toward Home, by James Everett Kibler
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and will probably read it again. Easy reading fiction that focuses on keeping life simple, putting great value on relationships, etc. I'll definitely look for more books by this author.

April
Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier
Chose this one off a list of books at the library. Neither hated nor loved it.

May
The Honk & Holler Opening Soon, by Billie Letts
I enjoyed this book and all the relationships portrayed in it. While not the focus of the book, there is some language and unmarried sex that goes on. It's not gratuitous, but it's there. Just an fyi. I'd love to read some more from this author. The author is the same person who wrote Where the Heart Is, which became a movie starring Ashley Judd and Natalie Portman.

June
More Than Allies, by Sandra Scofield
Got this off a list of books by Oregon authors. It ends up the author is from Ashland, where I lived for 11 years. The book was just ok, but it was funny to see how much of the setting of the book was pulled from Ashland. I could totally picture where each thing was taking place. Kinda weird.

Keeping Faith, by Jodi Picoult
I keep seeing books by this woman everywhere, so I picked the only one that wasn't checked out at the library. I enjoyed it and will read more from her. It also had some language and unmarried sex. Do with that info what you wish.

What Do I Want, by Annie Chapman
Quick and easy read that challenges women to be coordinated (having a balanced life), content, and courageous as individuals, wives, and mothers.